Back To The Islands

[JPA Cate]

Hi, Messing About,

About the health insurance, be advised some places will require you to carry visitors insurance for health coverage, and you will be able to buy it locally. It may involve to-ing and fro-ing a bit to complete entry into the foreign ports that require it.

Yes, keep working on your cruising plan as and where you can. I hope you've some friends you can chat with nearby.

Ann

[Messing About]

Thanks Ann. Any Caribbean Nations that you can recall as requiring this of tourist cruisers?

[JPA Cate]

No. Haven't been to the Carib. But the info will most likely appear on their Quarantine website, if they have one.

Ann

[Messing About]

Checking in. My bride is still standing strong. Her cracked femur bone must be healing because just 6 weeks after the fall she’s now taking short steps in and out of the house/back patio without the use of her Walker. Of course this scares me to witness and I try to discourage such boldness but if you’ve been following our story here, you know she’s quite strong willed and stubborn. It is a blessing that she’s not bedridden and can still use the portable medical toilet on her own. Except for 3-4 times each night when she wakes and needs help getting out from under the blanket as no pillows that comfort her on the couch, which she has adopted as her preferred sleeping area.

Her cognitive confusion is slightly worsening. About 50% of the time she’s herself and the other times I hardly recognize the face and words of confusion. Hospice nurse thinks this is cancer in the brain, not dementia. It certainly gives me some real empathy for those who deal with dementia in a spouse. Very sad and also difficult to deal with. Last week she held her weight from the previous week. This was a first for her in the last 8 months. She’s still 63.5 pounds. It’s amazing she has the strength she does, really.

I am in frequent contact with the seller of the IP380 I plan to buy. We are becoming fast friends, exchanging emails several times per week. He has done so many upgrades and taken such good care of this boat, I feel truly blessed to have found him and her.

I need to identify a qualified marine surveyor in the Duluth, MN or Superior WI area and book the survey for April. Any referrals would be appreciated.

I’ve been reading the IP380 owners manual and getting familiar with her systems. The more I read, both the manual and various owner posts here on the Cruisers Forum, the more I know I picked the right make of sailboat for me. The fact that this seller is willing to wait for me to be ready and then will give me 1:1 training to both sail and maintain her is almost miraculous. Again, I just call it a blessing.

[JPA Cate]

Your good lady might be stubborn, but maybe it is that she has the courage of her convictions; or, maybe she is persevering. I'm wishing her a peaceful passage when the time comes.

Good on your friendship with the owners of the IP. We have stayed friends with the guys who built our boat and sold it to us. Very rewarding.

Be well,

Ann

[Tetepare]

A seller willing to go over the boat with you is invaluable. Take notes and photos because you won’t remember it all.

[Messing About]

Originally Posted by Tetepare

A seller willing to go over the boat with you is invaluable. Take notes and photos because you won’t remember it all.

Yes, I agree. He’s not only going to go over it with me, he said he will sail with me as much as it takes for me to be comfortable at the helm and in the engine area. I will be taking over his slip on Lake Superior and spending the 5 month season learning to sail her.

This will be my 5th boat, but my largest and first sailboat. He’s also going to accompany me on the delivery from the Great Lakes to Charlotte Harbor, FL.

I’m paying a little above high retail value but the NADA book doesn’t account for the rare condition of a 23 year old boat that’s never yet seen salt water in its life, for a boat that has only been used 5 months per year, (1,100 hours on the Yanmar 50 hp diesel), that seems impeccably maintained and for the added value of his instruction and delivery assistance. Feels like a rare find to me.

[Messing About]

Good morning. Been a bit since I posted an update. I’m still in close contact with my seller and we are tentatively planning April as a sale date, but that depends on my wife’s status.

She has shown some signs of physical improvement while on hospice care.

Her cracked femur bone seems to have healed since her fall in August. She now walks around the house on her own power, albeit with very limited stamina. She’s eating small amounts of solid food and has increased her weight from a low of 62, early last summer, to now 68 this week.

The biggest challenge now is cognitive decline. Her hospice nurse suspects the cancer is in her brain now. Her behavior is very much dementia-like. It’s a whole new challenge for me as the care taker. I pray for patience as the repeated questions and Groundhog Day conversations frustrate heck out of me in a daily basis. She gets paranoid at times when I’m not in the room, telling me there’s no one in the house with her. She had her 66th birthday recently; an event I thought she would not see, earlier this year. It now appears she may well see the New Year. Astonishing.

I’ve accepted that God’s plan may have me caring for her much longer than I ever thought possible. My plan to buy and cruise on this particular boat may not be His plan. Time will tell.

[Messing About]

Update on my pending plans to retire onto a cruising sailboat:

First, an update on my wife. Her body weight is up to 81 pounds, now two pounds more than she was when she had surgery to remove cancerous lymph nodes last January. She is stronger and has good control over her own movement now. Cognitively, she continues to slowly decline. She is confused by calendar on her phone showing the Christmas holiday being recognized on the 26th. I told her that’s just the Government day off, since the 25th is on a Sunday this year. She continues to tell me I’m wrong, that “they moved Christmas to the 26th.”
We went to the WalMart nearby last weekend and she told me it’s the first time she’d been to that one, when in reality we have been there 50-100 times.

Much of her weight gain is attributed to eating sweets, as many dementia patients do. She eats a 3 pound jar of peanut M&Ms in 6-7 days. The good news is, she sometimes goes a whole week or two without drinking wine and when she does have a glass, it’s just one, not the 5-6 she used to. The wine is still watered down, 50% by me. Tomorrow will mark 11 months since I quit drinking.

Regarding my now completed working days: Last week I was fired from my high paying job. It wasn’t completely unexpected. My company had been acquired by another in 2021 and they made it clear more than a year ago, I wasn’t in their long term plans. Given my wife’s condition, I have no intention of returning to the work force. Although I’m nearly 5 years from collecting early social security, I have enough saved to get me there. Hopefully. It will just be a much tighter budget than it would have been otherwise.

The big thing I’m counting on continues to be proceeds from the sale of our home. It’s lost $100k in equity in 2022 but it’s still worth 2.5x what we owe. Every month that falls more and more but I can’t sell it while she’s still with me. It would be too much change for her to handle and I won’t do that do her at this stage. Hospice Nurse still says she doesn’t think my wife will be here next year at this time, but only God knows.

So I wait. I provide care and support for her, just as I’m sure she would have for me. I read accounts of those living on their boats. I listen to the music I plan to enjoy aboard my ship. I slowly continue to divest my life of belongings I won’t need when living aboard. I cringe every time she buys something for this house that we don’t need. I walk my dogs twice daily and try to maintain my health, especially now that I have no insurance. (She’s 66 and has Medicare). I watch and follow Barry Perrins (Adventures of an Old Seadog) on YouTube. And I dream each night of getting back to the islands.

Wishing cruisers and wanna be cruisers, alike, a Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year and a joyous and blessed 2023.

[Messing About]

Exchanged Christmas email greetings with the seller of the IP380 I planned to buy. Our plan last summer called for me to take ownership in April of ‘23. I let him know that timeline likely needed to be pushed back, due to my wife physical improvement. He was completely supportive and understanding of my situation and let me know he would be fine whether we do the deal in the Spring, push it to the summer or even into ‘24. He doesn’t have it listed anywhere and will be happy to have one more Great Lakes sailing season, if it works out that way. Continues my confidence that I have both the right boat for me and the right seller.

[Messing About]

Dawn breaks on another day, waiting and planning my return, back to this islands.

Update on my future cruising plans. Wife is even more improved, physically. Up to 83.5 pounds and good mobility. Two weeks ago she mopped the kitchen floor and did four loads of laundry. Those tasks had been mine for the past 6 months. Her cognitive abilities are also slightly improved. She still puts her PJs on between 3-4 in the afternoon and goes to bed between 5-6. She sleeps for 6-8 hours at a time, which is really good, despite her waking hour.

She’s starting to experience difficulties swallowing and I’m noticing changes in her voice. She complains of discomfort where the cancer was surgically removed a year ago, in her throat. She asked for a follow up with her ENT surgeon and hospice approved it. Hoping for continued good news when she sees him on 2/14.

I completed my first full month as a retired man. Spent many hours analyzing finances, building a strict budget for ‘23 and moving all retirement funds into fixed, no to low risk investments earning 4-6% over the next 1-4 years. We will be secure for ‘23 without spending savings or principal investments. If we are still in the house in ‘24 I will have to start drawing some of the investment returns to make budget but the principal should be safe. My wife already earns $30k in social security. I’m just 57 so a few years off of that. When she passes, I will sell our house. The proceeds will pay for my boat, refitting the standing rigging and the marina slip that first season, while I learn to sail her on Lake Superior. The remains will be enough to live for a couple years of cruising. Coupled with the investment interest, I still shouldn’t have to spend principal savings before reaching 62 and collecting my social security. Once I get there, with the whole lot of the assets, I will be able to cruise for as long as I’m bodily able. If my life lasts longer than my ability or desire to keep cruising, I should still have plenty enough to re-start a final chapter on land.

January was my first full month of retirement. I set a strict budget and forecast expenses for an entire fiscal year with every category of expenses I could think of. Used the excel template from when I managed my work budget for many years. Duplicated the expense categories for a section detailing actual expenses below the forecast to keep me on plan. For January we finished 10% ahead of plan. Saving a lot of my planned $250 mo fuel budget by reducing trips and driving the speed limit in the slow lane. Getting 20 MPG in my Cummins engine truck and 30 MPG aim my wife’s Chrysler 300. Only planned $100 per month for dining out and stayed at $108 the first month. I personally am not a fan of dining out but my bride likes it as a change, so there’s that. Fortunately she eats like a bird so she’s a cheap date and prefers lunch to dinner, which helps make it cheaper.

I’ve now surpassed the one year make since quitting alcohol. Her illness has resulted in her all but quitting. She used to drink 4-6 glasses of wine every day. Now it’s one glass every few weeks and even then, she’s usually prompted by seeing people drinking on TV before she suddenly declares she’d like a glass of wine. Of course I don’t begrudge her reasonable enjoyment of it. In years past, between us, we would spend about $400 a month on wine. Nowadays my entire months grocery budget is $750. We went slightly over in January but should be substantially under for February. There’s 40 pounds of frozen chicken, beef and pork in the freezers and an overstocked pantry of canned goods.

I’ve been enjoying 3 YouTube cruisers. Adventures of an Old Seadog and White Spot Pirates, both of which I’m caught up on every episode, and am now 80+ episodes into and four years behind on Ran Sailing. Quite enjoyable and inspiring content, each of these series. If any of you have your own blogs or vlogs published publicly, feel free to post a link. I’m particularly interested in full time cruising and live aboard content.

To anyone still following along my long planning stages, thank you for reading.

Bill

[Wotname]

Thanks for the updates and sharing your life plans on CF, best wishes for the future.

[Messing About]

It is said that cruiser’s plans are best written in sand, at low tide.

A year ago, I surmised that by now I would have been a widower, sold my home & most possessions, and been on my way to Lake Superior to purchase my cruising boat.

A Christian Pastor once sermoned, “Man makes plans and God laughs.”

My wife’s condition has improved greatly. She was formally discharged from hospice care about two weeks ago. She had a PET scan that showed no cancer anywhere in her body. It’s quite miraculous, considering the road we traveled over the last 18 months. Her cognitive health has also improved enough that I’m comfortable letting her drive again. She hasn’t drank wine (or any alcohol) in over two months, despite there being plenty here at the house. She encouraged me to return to work so that we don’t have to spend any savings. My heart is no longer in the high paying, high stress corporate VP world, so I took a more menial job for $20 an hour that will lead to benefits for me. I dropped 20 pounds, the first 6 weeks but my body sure did ache from the physical nature of the work. Getting better now. I’ve now been dry of alcohol for nearly 15 months.

So. . . Just as I prepared for this possibility, my cruising plans are back on hold. I did share them with my wife and asked her to consider joining me; sort of a live like we were dying, proposal, but she’s not interested. Even when we lived in FL for 9 years, she rarely joined me on the boat then.

I’m still in touch with my seller and he said he’d be happy to enjoy his boat for another year. He invited me to bring my wife and vacation with him and his wife aboard the boat but my wife declined.

So, I will continue to work, save and try not to spend. I will try to enjoy the additional time with my d we ice and be grateful for her improved health. I will continue to dream of sailing, cruising and fishing in the future but all the while trying to remember that everything happens for a reason. I’m really grateful that she quit drinking and I hope/pray it lasts. She does still smoke about a half a pack of cigarettes per day but I try not to let that bother me. It’s who she was when I married her, 23 years ago. I’m more happy that she’s sober than I am resentful that she smokes.

Time will tell if I am destined to land or if I ever do get Back to the Islands.

[Wotname]

Thanks for the update and the good news

[Messing About]

Merry Christmas to all the cruisers and the want to be cruisers, alike.

It’s been 8 months since I posted so I thought I’d give an update. My wife continues to be basically stable, at home with me. She’s holding between 70-75 pounds. The radiation killed all of her teeth roots and the teeth began breaking. Two different dentists consulted each advised her to undergo full mouth extraction surgery to avoid recurring oral infections. She was originally not a candidate for surgery, due to low oxygen levels so Medicare approved her for a month of daily hyperbaric oxygen therapy. The actual surgery was not covered so it cost me $10k out of pocket, plus $4k for a pair of dentures that she isn’t wearing. She could; she just chooses not to. Her good I take is limited to a bowl of oatmeal and an occasional protein shake. But the horrible suffering she went through last year has subsided and that’s a blessing. Her cognitive health is hit and miss. Some days she’s well enough to make a pot of homemade chili. Other days, she asks me how to operate the TV. She continues to smoke but not drink. The oral surgeon was adamant that she not smoke for 72 hours after the surgery. He wanted that a post opp infection could result in having to remove her lower jaw. Despite my best efforts to offer nicotine patches, medication, etc as a way to get her through the 3 days, 3 hours after surgery she was outside smoking again. It is this type of behavior that gives me no hope for her future. It continues to be just a matter of time. But I’m committed to seeing her through this. Although that day, I was angrier than I’ve ever been at her. I told my brother, I didn’t care if I had to wait til I’m 75 … I’m getting that F’ing boat, even if I launch it to die a week later. I’m 58 now and healthiest I’ve been in 20 years. Next month marks two years without alcohol in my life. I quit smoking more than 17 years ago. I lost 65 pounds in 2023 and take no meds. My. Latest BP was 130/85.

Speaking of the boat plans: the seller from the Great Lakes apparently got tired of waiting for me and ceased all contacts. Can’t blame him. Perhaps it’s for the best. I’ve decided a pilot house motor sailor will be the best model for my two dogs and I. My heart is now set on an Island Packet SP Cruiser. I believe about 40 units were made between ‘07-‘10. There’s a fabulous one for sale in FL since last Spring. The owners outfitted it per for cruising, started a nice YouTube channel, went from CA to FL, via the Panama Canal and promptly put it up for sale. My best guess is the wife decided cruising wasn’t for her, but who knows. Despite having the money, it makes no sense to buy it while I’m here taking care of my wife. I again asked her if she would be open to the idea of returning to FL and moving aboard, but she again declined. So I wait.

I’m reading the Chapman guide (69th edition). I read forum posts, study weather patterns and charts. I’m re-reading the blog of solo sailor Bill Dietrich (who cruised for 14 years) and I continue to follow Barry Perrins, the Old Seadog. And I continue to dream of getting back on a boat, back on the water, back to the islands.

Merry Christmas to all. Thanks for listening.