Going to Sea and Scared!

[JC Reefer]

I have a deep desire to be out at sea. Whether drifting on a hot summer day or rolling down winter waves there is something in me that the ocean touches. I'm unable to fully articulate it but I think and hope that some of you know what I am writing about.

This desire was born somewhere during my 10 years working as crew and then captain for various vessels sailing and motoring the US east coast and the Caribbean. It was good fun as a young man but as life, I guess, became more serious I decided to leave that world of others vacations. I am now married with a home and car and looking to get back out there.

My fear is that my desires far outreach my finances, and the support of my wife and family. And that if I go then I will not want to come back at all. As it stands my current plan requires me to sell the house, cars, belongings and give up the dog. I am prepared for the changes and my wife is already on board. But I am concerned, that my desire to live beyond conventional boundaries will end with me eventually sailing alone, living a happy yet very poor and solitary life.

Not sure if any of you have read up on “terror barriers” but I am definitely going through one. In the next few months we will list our home and once it is sold we will set off to find our vessel, outfit her, and begin a 2 year circumnavigation. I’d like to know if any of you have gone through similar fears, doubts or concerns before making the move to “Living the Dream.”

[Sos]

I think it would be unnatural to not go through those fears. It is a big change but it's the things you don't do that you will normally regret

[double u]

"2 year circumnavigation" - gonna ba a tight schedule, a rush-through in places...

[Olddan1943]

You should have the same worries when driving a car. In FL, we are at the beginning of the 'return of the snow birds'. Combing the snow birds and the local drivers, it's a wonder we all haven't died. Turn signals are, at best, a suggestion or left over from 20 miles back. A sudden and unexpected lane change from the far right to the far left, is common.
My point is, if we let worry overcome us, we would never get out of bed. Go forth, enjoy life and when we die, we die. BUT, if the boat sinks, we will not be 'pleased.' Most of us have lived a long and exciting life. When I die, I am sure my nieces and nephews, I hope, will say, 'He was a crazy old man but, he did what he wanted to do or could do.'
5 or 10 years after my death, no one will remember me. That is life. I can only hope, there will be another 'crazy old man', in the family, to take my place.

[GordMay]

Greetings and welcome aboard the CF, JC.

[Cherod]

ahh, decisions decisions.

[Suijin]

Yeah as for the 2 year schedule, in 1983 a Valiant set the single-handed nonstop round the world record...in 199 days. You're not likely to be buying a faster boat. Your pace would be sailing one day out of every four, which is not realistic on a number of fronts. So you'll need to either take longer or not go as far.

As for fears, the key is to be adaptive to change. Maybe you get out there and decide after a year it's not for you. Maybe your goals change along the way. Don't hold the ultimate goal up as something cast in stone where any deviation away from it is failure. Go out, discover, learn, and adapt.

[Southern Star]

Yes, welcome to Cf! Although you indicate that your wife is “on board”, does she have sufficient sailing experience to make that decision rationally? Prior to selling off your home and fully committing to this adventure, I would recommend buying a smaller boat with which you and your family can experience weekends and short-term holidays aboard. If that works out, you may also want to consider contacting OPO and taking her on an ofshore passage. If she is still onboard, then your chances of success should be much better.

My wife knew that cruising was something that I not only dreamed of pursuing, but fully intended to do from the outset of our relationship. While she had been involved in Sea Cadets as a teenager and some club racing afterwards, she nevertheless lacked the experience to make a rational decision about her ability to cope with, let alone enjoy such a radical change in lifestyle. While weekending, short holidays, charters and a passage from New York to Bermuda still did not not completely prepare her for cruising and separation from friends, family and the creature comforts and convenience of home, nevertheless it gave BOTH OF US the confidence to actually undertake it with only minor reservations. One year on and WE are both loving it.

Cheers!

Brad

[double u]

Originally Posted by Suijin

Yeah as for the 2 year schedule, in 1983 a Valiant set the single-handed nonstop round the world record...in 199 days. You're not likely to be buying a faster boat. Your pace would be sailing one day out of every four, which is not realistic on a number of fronts. So you'll need to either take longer or not go as far.

As for fears, the key is to be adaptive to change. Maybe you get out there and decide after a year it's not for you. Maybe your goals change along the way. Don't hold the ultimate goal up as something cast in stone where any deviation away from it is failure. Go out, discover, learn, and adapt.

of course my comment about a 2-year rtw being a rush only appertains to a tradewind-rtw. nonstop around in the higher southern latitudes is a different ballgame altogether (& should not take 2 years). the hectic pace of a 2-year tradewind-rtw is a result of the southern hemisphere tropical cyclone season: westbound you have one season to get from french polynesia to south africa/red sea - & this means a lot of miles in ~6 months.

[danielamartindm]

Originally Posted by JC Reefer

I have a deep desire to be out at sea. Whether drifting on a hot summer day or rolling down winter waves there is something in me that the ocean touches. I'm unable to fully articulate it but I think and hope that some of you know what I am writing about.

This desire was born somewhere during my 10 years working as crew and then captain for various vessels sailing and motoring the US east coast and the Caribbean. It was good fun as a young man but as life, I guess, became more serious I decided to leave that world of others vacations. I am now married with a home and car and looking to get back out there.

My fear is that my desires far outreach my finances, and the support of my wife and family. And that if I go then I will not want to come back at all. As it stands my current plan requires me to sell the house, cars, belongings and give up the dog. I am prepared for the changes and my wife is already on board. But I am concerned, that my desire to live beyond conventional boundaries will end with me eventually sailing alone, living a happy yet very poor and solitary life.

Not sure if any of you have read up on “terror barriers” but I am definitely going through one. In the next few months we will list our home and once it is sold we will set off to find our vessel, outfit her, and begin a 2 year circumnavigation. I’d like to know if any of you have gone through similar fears, doubts or concerns before making the move to “Living the Dream.”

You’re worrying about the possibility of losing your family to a cruising lifestyle; but that would only likely happen if you put that lifestyle above your family. Ask yourself, if you had to choose between cruising alone or being landlocked with your family, which would you choose? Now take the answer to that question, and make the cruising lifestyle work for your family. My money’s on you

[JC Reefer]

Thanks for the advise and the warm welcome.

Originally Posted by Southern Star

Although you indicate that your wife is “on board”, does she have sufficient sailing experience to make that decision rationally?

Brad

Not sure, I️ think yes. She had done some cruising with me back when we were dating and I️ was running charters and deliveries. And we did meet through competition Sailing. Not sure I’ll know until months into it. I️ hate the idea that it could be something that she is unhappy with.

As for a 2 year rounding, that’s not a hard line. I️ should say that we plan to sail the trade winds west from wherever we buy the vessel and have 2 years to enjoy it. Thats what I️ have been able to budget for.

[Suijin]

Originally Posted by double u

of course my comment about a 2-year rtw being a rush only appertains to a tradewind-rtw. nonstop around in the higher southern latitudes is a different ballgame altogether (& should not take 2 years). the hectic pace of a 2-year tradewind-rtw is a result of the southern hemisphere tropical cyclone season: westbound you have one season to get from french polynesia to south africa/red sea - & this means a lot of miles in ~6 months.

Doesn't matter. Whatever the route you take, doing it in two years is borderline "rushing". But it all depends on what your goals are. If the primary point is to circumnavigate and stopping to smell the flowers along the way is secondary, then it's obviously doable along any route.

[double u]

benchmark for nonstop is this kraut hero/legend:
1st kraut singlehanding rtw in tradewinds
2nd rtw with wife, tradewinds
1/2rtw (nz-europe) with wife & so, tradewinds
3rd rtw nonstop in 40ies/50ies, eastabout
4.rtw, 2nd nonstop: same only WESTABOUT:
Weltumsegler Wilfried Erdmann - Nonstop - Allein gegen den Wind - Nonstop in 343 Tagen um die Welt
no boat bigger than 35'
unfortunately everything in german only...

[carstenb]

unless you and your wife are enamoured with seeing a lot of water, a 2 year RTW is much too fast. 3 year minimum if you want to do anything more than look at water.

As an aside, folks react differently to passagemaking - especially if you are double-handing. Some say after the first 2-3 week passage, "never, ever, ever again - I'd rather die" (my niece, who has sailed a lot, including ocean racing had that reaction when she double-handed hawaii to fiji), some (my wife and myself) actually like passage-making and enjoy the solitude.

One is certain - I've never met anyone who says, "passage-making - it's ok. I can take it or leave it."

MY advice before you jump off the cliff is to take a 4 week holiday and crew on a boat crossing the Atlantic.

[double u]

"...unless you and your wife are enamoured with seeing a lot of water..."
absolutely! we met people on a 2year tradewind rtw...
the additional aggravation is:
1st time rtwers usually spend a lot of their in-port/at-anchor-time with repairs; now on a 2 year-sched you brake more (remember: 1. you push more, 2. you will put off repairs more), yet have a LOT less time to repair. result: "we should have taken 3 years!" is what we heard.
having done a 7, a 4 & a 3 year rtw ourselves we would strongly advise against a 2 year trip. imho: better smaller boat & 3 years than bigger & 2!