Toilet Seat Up

[MicHughV]

Talking about heads....I started building my first boat in the late 70's and was forever scrounging around for bits and pieces when I got an opportunity to salvage an old British wooden sloop that had washed up near me some years ago. I didn't know the age of this boat, but it still had a wood mast. My guess would be that it was likely 50 years old or maybe more.

What I was really after was the cast lead keel, but poking around the semi-submerged hull, I came across the head.

This thing was a thing of beauty, no other way to describe it. It was a Wilcox-Crittenden model of unknown vintage. It was all teak and ornate bronze, with a beautiful handle, and with a lot of levers, gizmo's and gadgets. It's hard to think of a toilet as a thing of beauty, but this one had it all, and I wanted it.

I removed it, cleaned it, buffed it and polished it and managed to find what was probably the last known re-build kit for it and installed it on my boat. It was a veritable throne of magnificence.

Using it required a lengthy process of turning levers, knobs and switches. It would gurgle, spit and burp at every usage, but it would devour all that was fed into it with only the occasional groan.

It was a marvel, an antique marvel at that, and worked flawlessly for the best part of 10 years, before it developed some annoying leaks by which time, parts for it were no longer available.

With sadness and ceremony, I consigned it to the deep, and fitted a modern day plastic and porcelain model, which, though much simpler and more modern, simply could not match the performance of it's predecessor.

Many people use seat time as pondering time. To this end, pondering should be done in style and with aplomb, and plastic simple does not cut it.

Ok, I'll end my walk back thru' memory lane here, as losing that toilet was like l was losing a good friend.

[gonesail]

i have always preferred peeing into a jug when on the boat.

[lockie]

What if I need two hands for myself?

[SV DINGO]

Originally Posted by lockie

What if I need two hands for myself?

What exactly do you want to do?

[boden36]

You don't want to be lurching around on a boat at sea with your dick hanging loose.
I recently read of a case where a naked man fell against an open drawer. Unfortunately his dick dropped in before his body weight closed the drawer. Other crew were alerted by anguished screams.

[MicHughV]

I have to admit....out of all the nautical terms I've learned to describe various and sundry parts of a sailboat....the use of the word " head" to describe a toilet is a tad beyond my comprehension...I know how it came about, but surely a better one could have been found...
It's awkward to tell non-sailing guests to use the " forward head"...and then have to explain what you mean...

[boatman61]

Originally Posted by MicHughV

I have to admit....out of all the nautical terms I've learned to describe various and sundry parts of a sailboat....the use of the word " head" to describe a toilet is a tad beyond my comprehension...I know how it came about, but surely a better one could have been found...
It's awkward to tell non-sailing guests to use the " forward head"...and then have to explain what you mean...

Try.. "The bogs up the front guys, squat to take a slash".

[Nord Sal]

Don't lean out to pee over the rails/lifelines. Pee in an appropriate container and then dump it.

[Mike OReilly]

Originally Posted by Nord Sal

Don't lean out to pee over the rails/lifelines. Pee in an appropriate container and then dump it.

Like a composting head [emoji6].

[PerfectPirate]

First off, compact marine toilets (yeah, I'm looking at you, Jabsco/ITT) are some female engineer's revenge on the male of the species. Which is why, when I bought our latest boat, I specifically ordered a new, household-size marine head, with a slow-close seat and lid. I haven't had the chance to use it yet, but my anticipation is great.

Second, I do place great faith in the reported numbers of drowned boaters with their flies unzipped, because most boaters found this way are sports fishermen who have been rehydrating with copious amounts of beer or other alcoholic concoctions. This not only makes peeing an urgent activity, it also has a bad effect on ones sense of balance and ability to recover when over-balanced.

Finally, the point which I really came here to make: Micturition Syncope. This is an established medical phenomenon which generally afflicts older males, which is to say most of us sailors. The act of urination, combined with standing up after a long period of sitting or lying down, causes the blood pressure to drop, inducing a fainting spell. If you are already sitting on the john, you don't have far to fall, or maybe you just slump sideways. If you are standing at the stern, well, the odds may not be in your favour. If we have any medical doctors monitoring these posts, you may want to weigh in with more detailed information on this condition.

[landsend]

Originally Posted by gonesail

i have always preferred peeing into a jug when on the boat.

I really hope it's your own personal jug.


"Pass the jug please!"

[landsend]

Try.. "The bogs up the front guys, squat to take a slash". Boatman61


Takes me back to boarding school in Worcester.

[SeanPatrick]

Originally Posted by MicHughV

...the use of the word " head" to describe a toilet is a tad beyond my comprehension...I know how it came about, but surely a better one could have been found...

But then we wouldn't have such wonderful quotes as:

Originally Posted by Nauticus

Everyone sits on my head or they sit on the shore.

[boatman61]

Originally Posted by SeanPatrick

But then we wouldn't have such wonderful quotes as:

[sailingabe41ds]

I think a spring in the hinge strong enough to keep the lid up but not so strong to allow it to close when the lid is beyond 45 degrees would be a good invention.
My issue is that i am married and home or boat my aim is not that good and i am always getting in trouble with the mrs. Last time i told her if she could do a better job then she should try it standing up. That did not work out too well for me.
.abe