Cruisers' Psychology

[CaptainK]

Need a degree to work in psychology!!

Hammerfelt. Do you have in your possession, a degree in psychology?

And the experts will call you out. When they get to see right through your lack of experience. And they'll check up on ya too. You want to talk about public humuliation. You'll see it!!

[Alan Wheeler]

I was going to study Phsychology, but I was afraid I might find out something about myself I don't want to know.

[CaptainK]

[hammerfelt]

Sure, I have a couple of psychology degrees, let me get them out...

Too bad sarcasm does not come accross in writing.

[anotherT34C]

Originally Posted by GordMay

Why do we take risks and pursue adventure? Wouldn't it be easier and better to play safe and stay at home?

This will make an excellent topic for another discussion. I tried to open such as discussion < Cruisers' Psychology > back in 2006, but it wasn’t productive at that time.

Are there any adults wishing to try again?

I'd guess being 'adventuresome' is a display of fitness, as in "I'm so fit, I can afford to take this risk". Pretty common, in the species.

[allan C&C less]

Gee you are now an administrator! Gord you are movin up the ranks! Next you'll be an admiral.

All kidding aside Gord's comments and unbelievable knowledge he has shared over the years always amazes me. Also makes me realize how little I know. Darn you Gord!
However now he's flirting in tepid waters. Something I think I know a little about. The mind or Pschology.
I have done my share naughty miles..sorry..- N. miles mostly alone.
It isn't for most folks. Solitude is something you either can accept or you can't. You might have all the fanciest gear or a million dollar yacht but if you single-hand and you feel at ease being by yourself for days on end. Well guess what? That dream you had for years can soon become one big nightmare. Same is true for a couple since if one or both of you are comfortable being together one-on-one for hours or days at a time. Well guess what? One or both of you might decide to abandon ship. the boat might survive but will the relationship?

My half cent worth (since the Canuck Loonie is almost worth that much) :

If you are a natural anti-social type person like moi (me- in english) you'll do very well.
If you don't fit in well with large groups of people this is also a plus.
If you are resourceful like me, even if you aren't very mechanically inclined like Gord, you can still get by.
One of my few strong traits is perserverence. Maybe I was just born stubborn, but that honestly helps!
If plan on cruising for months on end there will be times, no matter how well you planned or how much money you dropped in the latest gear where things will fail. If you are the type of person who recoils in adversity then cruising long distances is not for you. On the other hand if you have natural survival skills like me, then you have to be as wise or resourceful as Gord and still you will get by. I think I am just a early or slower version of Gord and there many of us out there at helm trying to do are best.

But just be aware of one thing, the skill & knowledge that guys like Gord possess they were not born with. Some like myself are slow learners.
Guys like me ...that's probably 95% of those that sail can still follow their dreams cautiously, even if we can't rebuild the engine on our own, or know how to use a sextant!

A friend of mine once said "sail fast live slow".
My motto is sail slow live fast!

Cheers, Allan

[anotherT34C]

Hmm. I think most of us cruise with some kind of crew; siblings, SO's, friends, at least for this or that leg of the cruise. I don't think that most of us are primarily single-handers. In that case, I'd think that most of us would have to be pretty social creatures. My experiences at anchor seem to support this.

Also, this isn't the 1890's (or even the 1980's). These days, with modern communication equipment, you pretty much have to choose to sail in complete solitude.

[Jim Cate]

Dear Gordon,
Ann is writing this one, not Jim.
The advice is excellent, but I doubt many will read the papers to get the intellectual background. Part of the explanation for this, IMO, lies in the facts that most of cruisers are extremely independent, i.e., we shy away from advice, and we are action oriented. Some years ago, in 1990 or the beginning of 1991, Jim had a conversation with a New Zealand fellow, who asked him, "Is it just you and your wife on the boat?" "Yes," said Jim. "But who do you TALK to?" asked the Kiwi. This story illustrates that there are some men who are not prepared to treat their wife as an equal partner. The catch is that independent women will, in the presence of such a husband, choose other sports and activities that they can enjoy. If there's anyone (regardless of gender) out there who wants some advice, it's this: if you want a partner whom you can trust during your offwatches, then, by golly, you ought to treat them like they were your best friend's partner whom s/he wanted to indroduce to sailing! Encourage, teach calmly, take care of their comfort as much as possible. Most people do not take well to being shouted at, frightened, made cold and wet, and expected to wait on the skipper as if he were God. If it's hard to relate to that comment, the reader
may lack empathy.
That's one issue. The other one, "deviant" behavior, I'm not
qualified to comment on in the context of those authors, having
not the time nor inclination at the moment to get hold of those old studies. However, I did accept when we left our country of
origin, the essentially anti-social nature of our actions. Yes, it's pro-active, and yes, the cruising community is a whole lot like a small town wherein the people both respect each others' "personal space" and are reciprocally helpful. We
have exchanged overcrowding for our floating "lebensraum." However, it is also a clear statement that the dominant culture lacked a number of values important to us. A friend's Master's
thesis explored the values amongst liveaboards in the Oakland/Berkeley area of Calif., USA, in the early '80s.
You may be amused to read that sometime in the '80's, in
"Latitude 38" (pub. Richard Sprinkler) it was suggested that a
family who were considering the cruising lifestyle spend two
weeks living in their bathroom with the shower dripping. The
problem is that it only addresses the space and moisture considerations of the environment.
Belligerance. Well, normally, when people meet other people, a friendly approach engenders a friendly one back. If someone is afraid, the other guy is likely to pick upon it, in spite of language differences and everything, and just as with other animals, the more fearful one is liable to agress first. (Some of this may be
simply fear of losing dominance.) Both Jim and I decided against carrying weapons of deadly force years ago. The problem are manifest; here are a few: 1) firearms must be declared, and then Customs of the country you're visiting puts them in bond, to be reclaimed when you complete exit formalities. Some places this is merely expensive and a hassle. And then you don't have them where you're most likely to need them--in port. [By the way, where is it written that Americans get to go somewhere the locals don't want them?] We choose not to go to places where there are huge problems with inter-personal violence. 2) If firearms are going to be effective, you would have to pro-active and choose to use them before you're fired upon. As a cruiser, you're a good will ambassador for your country of origin. The two positions are mutually exclusive. 3) If you fail to declare firearms, and someone rats you in to Customs or they discover them on their own, you risk confiscation of the arms, your vessel, and rather large fines (by our cruising budget). 4) Everyone has to decide for him/herself what acceptable risk is, and what to do about it. Most successful cruisers understand very well that they are visitiors in someone else's country, that the indigenes may behave incomprehensibly at any moment--and that's okay. They get to make their own rules, just as we have done in our country, and if we don't like what's going on, we, at least, can leave! One doesn't have to condone what seems like corruption, but one can keep one's mouth shut unless asked. So we're talking a lot about personal boundaries and ethics being very clear, about having empathy, compassion, and the willingness to actually like people who are very different in some ways--and how like in others! It's all about the people, and less about the beautiful tropical sites, or the incredible high latitudes, after you've been doing it a while, and recovered from the overcrowding.
Well, that's an extremely long response to a seemingly innocuous suggestion. ...And I still think most people don't care to look very deeply into their motivations and psyches.
Thanks for the opportunity to express all this.
(Signed) Ann Cate, s/v Insatiable II

[GordMay]

I’m on the fly right now; but just let me say that I think Jim Cate is one very lucky (deserving?) fellow!
Cherish your partner.
Ann, I think I love you (‘re attitude & intellect).

[Jim Cate]

Gordon,
I think one of the most chivalrous skippers I ever met was one of your fellow Canadians. He did the fitout on his and his wife's
34 foot steelie, and there, on the starboard side, just over the battery band, he built an ergonomically fitted chair for her. No matter the conditions (at least on port tack and off the wind), she has her own space, and it fits her like a charm!
Ann

[Ex-Calif]

Ann - I've seen a couple of your posts and I have to say I enjoy them very much. It is great when we hear directly from the females in the cruising world directly.

BTW - Maybe you and Jim could spring for your own identity on the forum. They are free! - LOL

[Tempest245]

Don't you find, that the people that are often referred to as " nuts" are the most interesting folks out there ?

I recently finished the Book a Voyage for Madmen. They did some Psycological testing on the particpants prior to the start of the race. Of the eventual winner, Robin Knox Johnson...they came to the conclusion that he was...."Depressingly sane"...( I think that's how they worded it )

There is something about being in the ocean that calls to me. I confront my fears each time I answer the call, I don't know if they will ever go away completely. But I do know that for the time being, nothing else seems to reward me as much for the risk.

I've always liked Ben Frankin...

[Robertcateran]

Is this deviance what you are talking about what the deviance card near the compass states?

[Jim Cate]

Posted by: Ex-Calif
On: 02-02-2009 07:31

Ann - I've seen a couple of your posts and I have to say I enjoy them
very much. It is great when we hear directly from the females in the
cruising world directly.

BTW - Maybe you and Jim could spring for your own identity on the
forum. They are free! - LOL
************
Ex-Calif:
Thank you very much for the kind words.
At present, I am anticipating traveling within the US, and I will continue to be Jim's "sidekick" only. Thanks for the invitation.
[signed] Ann