a captain’s dying wish

[captmikem]

Originally Posted by JPA Cate

@ Wolfie,

I have found reading of what the Dalai Lama has said has been very helpful, even life changing, for me.

To you others, it is beyond me to be able to put it all into writing, for many reasons.

Ann

Ann, well said. (I think..)
Funny, I have missed some really good chances at dying, never really feared it but always fought to live because I rather enjoy living and did not want to miss things in my future. Never thought I would live to be 50 but here I am 70 next birthday. As I get older though.. I think for a few seconds about risks. A few years ago I did something to save one of my crew which cost me dearly, probably should have died. I fear more the thought of hesitating for fear of dying. I would have to live with that and not sure life would be good after that.
Hope life is treating you well, I believe you are still in NZ, such a great place.

Life is wonderful, without it you would be dead.

M

[carlosproa]

Originally Posted by JPA Cate

@ Wolfie,

I have found reading of what the Dalai Lama has said has been very helpful, even life changing, for me.

To you others, it is beyond me to be able to put it all into writing, for many reasons.

Ann

If most religions tells us we are created in similarity to the creator of the universe, then it follows that we are in essence spiritual beings, and this si called life in earth is nothing more than a manifestation of what we want it to be. Sort of what we would call a program or an avatar of our essence. If one does not like how our life is currently doing, then is as easy as to will the new life we want. If you are sad is because you have decided to be sad, if you are poor or in bad health is because you have projected that into this avatar we call life on earth. We at the end as spiritual inmortal beings, are in full control of this fantasy we call “real life on earth”.

[Cadence]

Originally Posted by carlosproa

If most religions tells us we are created in similarity to the creator of the universe, then it follows that we are in essence spiritual beings, and this si called life in earth is nothing more than a manifestation of what we want it to be. Sort of what we would call a program or an avatar of our essence. If one does not like how our life is currently doing, then is as easy as to will the new life we want. If you are sad is because you have decided to be sad, if you are poor or in bad health is because you have projected that into this avatar we call life on earth. We at the end as spiritual inmortal beings, are in full control of this fantasy we call “real life on earth”.

Interesting portrayal of life on earth.

[wolfgal]

Coming back to everyone who so kindly made a contribution to this while-ago-now thread.
i want to thank everyone. i think this is the most caring, most intimate thread i've ever encountered on CF

it is time for me to re-read it... i think i will find much comfort here.

Sam passed a few days ago...

his girlfriend, B, and i had a very beautiful and warm exchange last night. (such a wonderful girl (well, woman). she was one of his very first girlfriends, way back when; and they split because he wanted the boat life and she wanted to stay in her community. their friendship always stayed strong even though he was with another woman most of his adult life. he went to live with B (she is a care-worker who had lost work due to covid) this past winter when he found out that he had lung cancer, and both found that their bond was still there. isn't that beautiful? B is a wonderful woman.)

anyway, as this thread is about about his dying wish, a wish he expressed to me: to scuttle his boat and go down with his ship..., i propose to relay how this wish unfolded.

first off, i never alluded to his wish again, gave him full berth to explore this option. each is captain of his ship.

and Sam did not scuttle his boat. however, he didn't gift it either. he became so absorbed in the thereafter and so spiritually connected (he was not at all before) that he ended up not caring in the least. gradually and through this transformation, he started living exclusively for the NOW. he embraced the feeling of being alive, breathing. and that is where he put all of his person, in the now.

in one conversation, he told me that his only regret was having worried so much about material things (stressing about having enough money for during retirement). this, and spending so much time and energy being angry at his ex-wife (yes, a long and nasty story... too bad two people people can end up hurting one another so).

his newly embraced spiritual side helped him opt out of some major treatments. and in spite of this (i.e. living each day in huge pain), he did manage to get back to his boat and live on it for a month, right up until last week, in the sunshine, in his community of boat friends. and he went sailing with two of his best friends on their boat and was having a really wonderful time ....before suddenly having to take a flight back, and well, it happened in a matter of four days.

for me, getting back to the boat, finding his memories there, being with his friends, spending time together, embracing the threads of friendship and the love that lives within them, all this before saying goodbye..., i think he was very successful, victorious even. i have so much respect for him.

so, here is the thread... and no, i didn't tell him about it. i contemplated telling him about it but he was clearly in the state of mind of wanting nothing that came from outside of himself. his quest was focused on finding something within... and it really seems he did.

so that's the story of a captain's dying wish

thanks again to everyone for making such deep-from-the-heart contributions.

wolfie


.

[danstanford]

Thanks for the follow-up Wolfie. There are some pearls of wisdom about how to prioritize your life in this comprehensive post.

Dan

[JPA Cate]

Thanks for the follow up, and sorry for your loss.

Ann

[boatman61]

Glad he came to peace with his life as the sun set..

[wolfgal]

Originally Posted by boatman61

Glad he came to peace with his life as the sun set..

nicely said, good man.

[zeehag]

what boaty said. cannot say it better.
condolences amiga.

[wolfgal]

Originally Posted by zeehag

what boaty said. cannot say it better.
condolences amiga.

for me, this thread is proof that, in the sailing/cruising community, there are folks with warm-n-generous hearts who are capable of much understanding and empathy. and even if Sam did not read the thread itself, for me, it became a gift.

hope you are doing well, Zee-girl

[zeehag]

Originally Posted by wolfgal

for me, this thread is proof that, in the sailing/cruising community, there are folks with warm-n-generous hearts who are capable of much understanding and empathy. and even if Sam did not read the thread itself, for me, it became a gift.

hope you are doing well, Zee-girl

we doin.. not bad here... bird getting hauled this next year... have house to stash stuff cats n me while work is being done. life is good.

[Tayana42]

“…And even when the heart falls silent we do not cease to be.
Because in the end….we all become memories.” -Jennifer Worth

[David B]

Thank you for taking the time - and the emotion, to advise us how this came to a conclusion. Says a lot about you.

It seems you have both found peace in this.

Blessings,

David

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by wolfgal

.....his newly embraced spiritual side helped him opt out of some major treatments. and in spite of this (i.e. living each day in huge pain), he did manage to get back to his boat and live on it for a month, right up until last week, in the sunshine, in his community of boat friends. and he went sailing with two of his best friends on their boat and was having a really wonderful time ....before suddenly having to take a flight back, and well, it happened in a matter of four days.

for me, getting back to the boat, finding his memories there, being with his friends, spending time together, embracing the threads of friendship and the love that lives within them, all this before saying goodbye..., i think he was very successful, victorious even. i have so much respect for him.

.

I'm glad Sam found a way to finish by doing what he loved, rather than purposely destroy it.

In these Pandemic times of accelerated deaths, genocides and the global misery of failed dreams, he was a lucky man!

As I get older, I now think of Death like a final lover.
See it as a one night stand,
hope she's not a Sadist,
and I prefer to be surprised.

Until then, we can only laugh and appreciate the good in our lives.

[gamayun]

It's nice to hear he found peace in his last days and with good friends to support him. My condolences. Living in the moment is also a good reminder for all of us.