Tall Sea Tales Told by Us at Anchor

[boasun]

There is need of a thread that Tall Sea Tales can be told with tongue in cheek or a grain of salt.

For example:
When I was on the west coast of Florida, I received a message that I had to be in Texas by the following day. As it happens it was hurricane season and a true catagory 5 was blowing over head. Not thinking this through but with the luck of the Irish, I raised all of my sails on my 45 ft ketch and the 150 genny full out. Those sails acted like Para-sails and my boat was lifted clean of the water and high into the sky. It was a fast moving hurricane, and as we approached Texas it started to die out. As the winds lessened my boat was gentlely deposited into Galveston Bay and I was able to attend that meeting.

[Cheechako]

Where's Tristan Jones when you need him!

[Mexdon]

There was a good one written in The Australian (one of Murdoch's early aquisitions) many years ago that was headed something about changing the course of history.

It read, that Joshua Slocum when he got to the Gulf Coast of Mexico decided to have a few months rest instead of sailing down the East Coast of South America rounding the Horn. He contracted a group of Indians near Coatzacoalcos to carry the Spray across the isthmus to the bay of Tehuantepec. While resting he meticulously wrote his log of his journey around the South American continent and when he calculated the time it would have taken him he continued on his circumnavigation from the west coast of Mexico.

[Blue Stocking]

Joe Piggy was hauling fishpots on Bermuda's 100 fathom line with the 26ft Little Lady, which we built.
100lb groupers will float the pot to the surface when the bellies expand from the reduced pressure on the way up. Sharks always follow the pots up.
Joe grabbed the pot at the chine to swing it over the gunwale, boat lunged and flipped him over the side.
Joe jumped on the pot, and back in the cockpit.
Pulled his Marlboros from his shirt pocket and with trembling hands, lit one.
Said the sharks were so big, the cigarettes never had chance to get wet.
True story.

[David_Old_Jersey]

Originally Posted by Cheechako

Where's Tristan Jones when you need him!

Sailing on the Flying Dutchman - chasing a whale

[SabreKai]

Yeh well, there I was, thinking that it was time to haul and do the bottom paint again.

Being poor, I wasn't looking forward to the bill but as I was Hove to off Kings Bay, contemplating this unwanted expense, I noticed a bubbling in the water all around me, and before I could even guess at what was going on, a black steel mass rose up out of the water, no more than a foot off my port side. Then there was a thud, and my boat lurched upwards and over to port, leaning against this mass of steel. As I gazed from my cockpit at the apparition, I noticed some numbers painted on the side of what now appeared to be the conning tower of a large submarine. As I looked up at the top of the tower a rather embarrassed face looked back at me. Opps.

Anyway, after a polite conversation, I prevailed upon the skipper of this never to be named US Sub, to allow me to do my bottom work in exchange for not raising a stink with the base and his CO. With the help of a dozen submariners, my boat was stripped of gunk, sanded and repainted all within an hour or so. The boat submerged slowly under me and off we went on our separate ways.

Hats off to the USN for the fastest bottom coat turnaround I've ever had.

[Blue Stocking]

Originally Posted by SabreKai

Yeh well, there I was, thinking that it was time to haul and do the bottom paint again.

Being poor, I wasn't looking forward to the bill but as I was Hove to off Kings Bay, contemplating this unwanted expense, I noticed a bubbling in the water all around me, and before I could even guess at what was going on, a black steel mass rose up out of the water, no more than a foot off my port side. Then there was a thud, and my boat lurched upwards and over to port, leaning against this mass of steel. As I gazed from my cockpit at the apparition, I noticed some numbers painted on the side of what now appeared to be the conning tower of a large submarine. As I looked up at the top of the tower a rather embarrassed face looked back at me. Opps.

Anyway, after a polite conversation, I prevailed upon the skipper of this never to be named US Sub, to allow me to do my bottom work in exchange for not raising a stink with the base and his CO. With the help of a dozen submariners, my boat was stripped of gunk, sanded and repainted all within an hour or so. The boat submerged slowly under me and off we went on our separate ways.

Hats off to the USN for the fastest bottom coat turnaround I've ever had.

Ah-hah!!--my next boat will be a bilge keeler.

[David_Old_Jersey]

I once fell (was pushed?) into the Ocean mid Atlantic, but I was ok because I was wearing a Liferaft and carrying a Radar. I did press the EPIRB button, but declined assistance because the Helicopter would clash with the colour of my (not very) waterproof jacket.

Fortunately thanks to my Advanced PADI training I was able to fend off most of the Great White Shark attacks (apparently they don't like the taste of human excrement), apart from the one that got my legs. But luckily they later grew back thanks to the power of Homeopathy.

It took me 4 weeks to swim ashore. the first week was spent learning how to swim (that not being a PADI requirement, in practice). I did see lots of strange metal boxes that resembled sky scrapers except lying sideways. But they all left me alone - and I did the same to them. Only later did I find out they were called "ships" and had people onboard - I felt a fool - if only I had gone on that training course.......

I arrived in America. the first natives I encountered wore funny clothes and talked in a strange language (which I later found out was called "American") so I shot them with a triple guage fully automatic pump action elephant gun which I had kept strapped to me, next to the 500KG Rocna (which I used as a Bouyancy aid). Apparently this was an accepted local custom - and I was invited in for Tea......once they realised that my appearing to be on the dusky end of the spectrum was due to the sun - and not any other reasons. These were I learned were "real Americans" as they had more guns. When I left I promised to return with some Crayons.

Next time I will get a bigger Peddalo......and more reliable crew than a Goat

[IdoraKeeper]

Fell or was pushed? I was once butted by a goat at a canal lock near Birmingham.....I wonder. Is there more to the story?

Todd

[AfterHoursNLCT]

I'm from the Government and I'm here to help you.......

[VirtualVagabond]

During WW2 my uncle was in the navy.
They notched up a new record for U-boat kills in no time.
When they knew there was a U-boat in the area they made a big circle, pouring green paint into the sea, then switched off their engines.
With the silence, the U-boat would come to the surface to to get a visual. The paint would film the periscope so they didn't know when they had got to the surface.
When they were about 500 feet in the air they blew them to bits with their anti-aircraft guns...
But they had to stop... the Geneva Convention figured it was unconventional...

[rubyjean]

Originally Posted by VirtualVagabond

During WW2 my uncle was in the navy.
They notched up a new record for U-boat kills in no time.
When they knew there was a U-boat in the area they made a big circle, pouring green paint into the sea, then switched off their engines.
With the silence, the U-boat would come to the surface to to get a visual. The paint would film the periscope so they didn't know when they had got to the surface.
When they were about 500 feet in the air they blew them to bits with their anti-aircraft guns...
But they had to stop... the Geneva Convention figured it was unconventional...

Thank God for the Navy....Michael..

[senormechanico]

Originally Posted by boasun

There is need of a thread that Tall Sea Tales can be told with tongue in cheek or a grain of salt.

For example:
When I was on the west coast of Florida, I received a message that I had to be in Texas by the following day. As it happens it was hurricane season and a true catagory 5 was blowing over head. Not thinking this through but with the luck of the Irish, I raised all of my sails on my 45 ft ketch and the 150 genny full out. Those sails acted like Para-sails and my boat was lifted clean of the water and high into the sky. It was a fast moving hurricane, and as we approached Texas it started to die out. As the winds lessened my boat was gentlely deposited into Galveston Bay and I was able to attend that meeting.

Yeah, but did it land on The Wicked Witch of the West?