Why do cruisers quit cruising?

[Sojourner]

What island? Mytilene! Lesvos, the far west coast, outposts in the moonscape. Like the best parts of New Mexico and Wyoming, Colorado foothills and Croatia. Our new paradise....

[hpeer]

I am going to try to offer a different view upon this question, kinda thinking out loud so I may be a bit muddled.

Thesis:
People quit cruising because the don't know themselves, nor do they want to.

Alternative framing:
Why do people NOT quit cruising? Cruising is hard work and frequently uncomfortable and occasionally downright scarry. Some people find enough positives in the life style to overcome those negatives. Most do not.

Cruising is one of those things that forces you to deal with stuff outside your control, makes you reconsider who and what you are, what is real and what is advertising. It both stresses you but also gives you swaths of time for self reflection.

Some folks accept this challenge and thrive, many others not so much. And there is probably some subset who are OK with the calling but experience it other ways.

I say all this coming from our personal life experience. We came to sailing late in life, my Wife was dead set against it. We found ways to compromise and now live aboard half a year, but have a 2nd sailboat at our summer cabin.

Probably most people who get into cruising have very limited experience living aboard for extended periods even if they have been past sailors. So once into it they are faced with all kinds of new challenges and changes. Physical limitations aside most people can adapt but choose not to. That's OK, it is their decision, but it explains why they quit.

Those who stay with it likely accept the challenges as a way to grow, to learn new things, to learn about their personal motivations and desires, to understand what really matters.

My Wife says I have a much higher toleration to discomfort than she does, at least physical discomfort. I never would have though about that but she did, and that revelation has informed each of us while asking yet more questions. Why am I not bothered, why is she bothered?

We enjoy the low intensity life, no TV, few interruptions, long quiet hours alone together. We spend a LOT of time reading, she does some writing. There is a self knowledge that we thrive in a quiet, contemplated. That does not work for others.

We are far from rich but have enough money to do many things, yet this is what we have decided to do. She bitches and moans about sea state and overnighters. I bitch and moan about boat maintenance. But I ealize that I have choices and I am doing what I chose to do. Apparently I am really turned on by scraping rust and 2 part epoxy paint! Or maybe it is the price we are willing to pay for the isolation, freedom, and quiet. It is in this space, alternatively being challenged and then left in a low stimulation space, that encourages self reflection and personal growth, self knowledge. I think this is something most experiences cruisers share.

2cents.

Feedback welcome.

[Fore and Aft]

Out of the thousands of my clients the most common answers I hear is they have ticked the box or cruising didn't meet their expectations. The boat being to slow never seems to be an issue. Often that's a reflection of the skipper not the vessel.
The Op's zealous research into cruising will never answer the one question that will make his cruise successful or not. That's his own ability to adjust to an environment that can be dangerous to outright boring. Having a performance cat does not mean you switch on the autopilot and magically sail at 10-15 knots until you reach your destination. Seamanship and sailing a boat to the best of its capabilities takes a long time to learn.
For our family it's a non negotiable to give up boating. The wife and I grew up sailing and so have our kids and no doubt we will die owning a boat.

Cheers

[Mike OReilly]

Originally Posted by hpeer

People quit cruising because the don't know themselves, nor do they want to.

Thanks for this H. I've written and deleted a 1/2 dozen posts here, trying to encapsulate or frame this question based on my own experience (which is all any of us have). I think most of the quitting reasons mentioned here are really just proximate causes, not ultimate causes. Ultimately, it's about knowing thyself, and know what you want and need. Most importantly, knowing your own limits.

[De.windhoos]

Originally Posted by Sojourner

What island? Mytilene! Lesvos, the far west coast, outposts in the moonscape. Like the best parts of New Mexico and Wyoming, Colorado foothills and Croatia. Our new paradise....

Hi, our boat (Catalina 36, Windhoos) is based there this year. Is that Amel docked on the outer sea wall yours?
We don't sail/live on the boat fulltime yet, but plan to live a/b during the season in a year or 2. This should extend our range a lot and both my partner and I can't wait.

PS. Don't you think Lesvos is a bit "moist" during winter?

[Simi 60]

Originally Posted by Chotu

You’re not kidding. I’ve always been a little bit tempted to try that landlord thing as passive income, but it doesn’t seem like it’s very good.

.

Near 20 years with zero issues and good results.
Good property manager and insurance is essential.

[hpeer]

Absentee landlord here. We have had a few properties. Results varied widely. Our really good investment was a 4 unit building where we occupied 1 unit. We rented that out and got a property manager when we went cruising. That worked fairly well for a few years.

The. There were the riots, Covid, and a mad crush to over develop an already over developed area. We spent some time there renovating an apartment and in the course realized the neighborhood and city were changing in ways we did not like. So we sold.

Got hammered on taxes because we had not occupied it sufficiently, but still think we made the correct decision.

The landlord thing can work but there are moving parts and it can slide downhill quickly. Each to his own risk tolerance. A good property manager is important. Where we were the changing social scene was putting us more and more at risk. Eviction is becoming more and more difficult. Not like that everywhere.

We were glad we had it, and glad to be rid of it.

[Bloodhound]

Originally Posted by boatman61

For many it's a 'Bucket List' thing.. I've met many over the years who bought a boat to do the ARC and the Caribe for a while then sold up or sailed back to Europe to take up their old lives again.. have kids, establish a career etc.
For others it's age..

My “best before” date arrived 🫤

[ellear]

BREXIT, BREXIT, BREXIT !!!

[Happ]

Originally Posted by Captain Graham

I am thinking about the people who start cruising and then in a short period of time quit.

I think many do not realize the reality of cruising life.
1. Sleeping on a sailboat in bad weather.
2. When at anchor the need to check you are not dragging your anchor.
3. Having to cook all the time on a moving platform.
4. Not having a shower anytime you want one.
Etc.

I believe these are very minor issues. Many have already been talked about. Health is one that hasn’t been brought up. I was preparing to go go cruising. Had sold everything. Had a health issue that stopped the plan going forward at least ate the time. Fast forward 5 years later things are a go again. But the plan has changed. Smaller boat. Smaller area for cruising.

I had decided to go cruising late in life. I had raced my whole life. It was one day in my 60’s that I wanted to go see the islands and not be one a schedule. See places that i had read about. Basically experience new things.

What remains to be seen if cruising will become an extended trip or a lifestyle. Time will tell.

[Finspeak]

In my case it was age. At 77 I’ve settled for a marina-based “poodling about” life, with short trips of a few hours, then tucked up nicely in my marina berth in time for my gin and tonic.

I believe that in the UK where I am, a number of people bought boats during the pandemic as it was not possible to travel around Europe, but found out it was much tougher to sail and travel long distances than they thought.

[Stewie12]

We cruised for 11 years but like many others it was time to move on with school for our daughter etc. We were 34 when we started and glad that we did our cruising then as at our now age we would not be up to it.

[Nic Homan]

I think there are many factors but ill health is certainly the reason why some of our friends were forced to give up.
There is a certain level of hassle and stress involved in maintaining a yacht in good order. Obtaining correct parts in distant locations is time consuming and expensive.
Others get caught out in bad weather one too many times and lose their bottle.

[Slovak]

Recently read a great blog post on this topic: https://www.tealtales.net/2020/08/sa...-sailors-quit/

[crossbow]

Originally Posted by Kinkircating

This is actually a subject that I've studied closely over the past few years and discussed directly with those out doing it or who did it. Here are my findings from these conversations:

1) It is only one of the partners dream, having both be on the same page it crucial, and more importantly you get along when spending all of your time together.

2) No breaks/spending nearly 100% of your time on the boat. Those who are successful I've found a common trait to be getting off the boat a few times a year for a month or two.

3) Money - leaving young and needing to return to work or leaving later but buying too much boat for the money you have saved then having to consider money at every turn. Money is going to be a consideration, but if you have to even think about $ if you need to replace a sail or heaven forbid go to that beach bar and have a burger & beer for dinner, you probably should not go cruising.

4) Boat is just too damn slow or have to motor too much- This is one that was mentioned by almost every single couple I spoke with that quit, they hated that they had a big heavy slow beast of a boat that needed 20knots of wind to sail and it took the fun aspect out of the actual sailing part of it. Also on the flip side those who are still out there doing it have switched over to boats that can sail in light wind and make faster than average passage times.

5) Health - the common theme was "I wish I would have started sooner" Cancer, arthritis, hell you name your ailment, I heard or read them all. There is a balance of going too late and too soon, but nobody regretted going.

6) Not being able to afford a nice boat - this sort of goes along with 3 & 4, but was a common theme that if you were on a boat that is just one notch above camping and it was constantly breaking (more so than the normal 50% of the time lol), it was a recipe for cruising not lasting very long. Keep in mind I'm not talking about the 20- and 30-year-old somethings out there vlogging, I'm talking about the 40-50 somethings that made a go of it with what they had.

7) Bad seamanship - this is sort of a catch all, but Captains who yell or don't get along with their crew, sailing out of season, not picking proper weather windows, in-ability to perform even basic boat repairs. Lack of experience prior to starting. Lack of confidence is also a biggie here.

8) Family - kids having grandkids or parents aging drew some back.

9) Turns out you just are not that into it after all once you got the taste.

I'm sure I omitted a few items, but it was super important when my wife and I started down this path to set us up for success. Even with all of that, life happens when you are busy making plans. Good stuff to keep in mind though.

All these ring the bells, especially 4 and 7. My (ex) wife used to ask, Why are we hauling 4000lbs of lead around when 70% of the time we motor? Multihulls solved this briefly (years actually): Jim Brown, Iroquois, Telstar) then 7 constantly reminded us that the fractures ran deeper than the boats. Boats are mostly dreamthings. I just sold my beautiful Dickerson 36 to a young couple. Never sailed before, bought almost sight-unseen and paid $7000 to have her shipped home. God bless ‘em