Your Help Would be Appreciated

[Lihuedooley77]

Agree....

It is up to the nephew at 36 to chart his own course in life. Do what he wants, and what is in his heart and his mind.

If he is letting go his dock lines, and going cruising, he might then get some helpful information from you and other sources to prepare for his life's adventures at sea.

If he chooses another path, then support him in that idea.

Personally, i did not ask anyone for advice as how to live my life. I made my own choices and I am very happy with the paths that I chose. Yep, sometimes there were mistakes, but I learned from them.

Also, I like that he is young and strong and healthy, and a good time to live an adventurous life .

My folks wanted me to be a Mr. Business man, working in a cubicle, raising a family, mowing the lawn, and cleaning the garage on weekends. Well, that was their idea of how life should be lived, It was not mine.

I did not ask them for any advice. Do what it takes to gain what you really want to do.

I wanted an education, so that was done.

I wanted to volunteer and serve my country. That was done.

I wanted to fly, so I used the Vietnam GI Bill....for my flight training. Flew professionally for a about 40 years. Never got any encouragement . I had a fantastic career of flying general aviation aircraft, including 17 of air combat maneuvering dog fights.

I wanted to sail. No money to buy a boat. So I joined a sailing sailing club and received professional sailing instruction. After instructing and gaining my sea time...720 days... I sat for my U.S.C.G 100 ton license. After that owned and was a partner in sailing vessels, and used OPB.

Over the years of instructing, charters, and sailing australia, Tahiti, Tonga, Mexico, the Caribbean, Calif. coastal, and Ireland and Greece....I found that my personal decisions beat the hell out of the Mr. Businessman life style. No encouragement from family for the sailing and life that I loved. No big deal.

Piont being, one of my sayings...IF YOU HAVE A PASSION IN LIFE, NO MATTER WHAT IT IS ..GO FOR IT. LEARN AND WORK AT EVERYTHING THAT YOU CAN TO BE SUCCESSFUL, AND LIVE YOUR DREAM. That is all up to the individual, not relatives, forums, friends,or bartenders.

We work at jobs , for many, many years, and I can not imagine how I would feel, getting up every morning, and driving to a job that I did not like. 50 years of drudgery . But again, that all comes to the personal choices and paths that we elect to tread, or sail, or fly, or be a CEO, or super sales person, , or raise a family , or whatever. What ever your passion is, live it !

And, I also found a great and wonderful lady to live all of these adventures with, a love and a friend, and a team mate. About 35 years now.

But all of the above are my life's choices. My personal decisions . Others have totally different ideas, and that is great.

Coming on 78 years of age, and not only has life been one hell of ride, but we are still at it.

Well , no longer flying, but we still sailing, hiking, working out, sharing friendship tables with friends, and doing a moderate amount of partying. Loving life !

As to the newphew. I would probably tell him the above, and also " Stand on your own two feet, make your your own decision. But, should that decision be to head off sailing, I will share with you every bit of my knowledge of sailing and seaman ship. "

There you go, Keel.....you asked, hope this helps.

[Cadence]

I have to agree with Lepke most start up businesses fail. If he hasn't saved much he will, in all probability, be underfunded. If he can't keep a job, it sounds like it is time to grow up. Does he have enough to support a circumnavigation or an income flow for that? JMHO it's time to use that degree at a job and save some money.

[ZULU40]

Originally Posted by KeelMe

His options are:

1. Finish refitting a sailboat he owns and spend a few years sailing around the world.

2. Sell the boat and put his money into a small unproven business idea he has.

3. Find a job and try to live a normal life.

Seems to me his life is normal already
ask him to commit to writing a written plan about this Alberg
not to fence him in, just to see that he has what that takes, that his plan is sustainable and affordable (to him), and that he has thought about it enough to make the plan lucid. And that the boat isnt going to be some form of cheap accommodation while he flips burgers to exist somewhere.

That said theres nothing wrong with what might seem an offbeat way of life as long as he finds himself and actually does something by finishing this boat. As we all know it aint easy

and if at the end of the day the business plan is worthy and enduring, it will still be viable in 3-5 years, ....... yes?

Now the advice bit
Businesses fail at a high frequency
So do marriages that tie you down for money for kids you wont ever see. Life just aint the same anymore. In the sum of ones life make the most of what you have to become a man among men that can hold his head up and be all he can be. Who else but cruisers best fit that description?

[Lake-Effect]

The people I know who even came close to succeeding in business were passionate and obsessive about their businesses, and were living/breathing/eating that business 24/7. And usually still have that passion even after the business succeeds. If a business idea doesn't inspire that sort of passion... is it worth following? (Also, what kind of business can you start for the selling price of an old Alberg 30? )

We've already heard from the lifelong adventurers and cruisers who have no regrets. I'll speak up for the wage slaves. I was fortunate to work in fields that I really enjoyed and were decent-paying. The jobs funded my windsurfing and sailing. Work has paid for a nice house that's walking distance to the lake and our boat, so we have the evening/weekend sailing thing during the warm weather, and boating related vacations when it's colder. We have lifelong friends, boaters and otherwise, that we can see regularly.

We hope to eventually do some serious long-term cruising, but even if that doesn't come to pass... we still have a great life, financial security, and lots of opportunity to be on the water and going places.

Follow your bliss, chase the dreams that call to you, but also remember that a person can work for the future AND also make time for passions, if the choice isn't yet clear to you.

[Dr. Sea]

Originally Posted by Dave22q

If he cannot keep a job there is little chance of his successfully starting a business. I say let him go sailing and hope he grows up. Little chance that a few blank years will damage his already weak resume.

What Dave said!

[alansmith]

It shows he respects who you are. Many young people struggle with what to do with their lives. Our lives...as older people...are not the same things that the younger generations faces these days.

If he were my nephew i would handle it just like you did. Just listen to him and let him vent his frustrations and ideas on you. Sometimes that is all he will need. It is good that he has a good mature sounding board to bounce ideas off of. It is his life and he is responsible for outcomes due to choices. Who can say what is right for him? Choices made have long term consequences. They are ...and always will be...how paths chosen will end up differently for each and everyone of us.

He'll figure it out. Thank goodness he has at least one person he can talk it out with.

[Boatyarddog]

Originally Posted by Tricolor

Best he ask Mr. D. Trump for advice.. this is a sailors forum, what answers do you expect. ?

This is the worst thing he can do.
Trump is a lying, cheating, the worst example of leadership seen in many years.

Find himself sailing can be the best thing that can happen.
You can't rush this awakening though.

At least he's asking and looking for answers.
He'll figure it out, best thing you can do, is be there to listen.
Cheers,
SV Cloudduster

[Franziska]

Hey dog, watch the trolls honeypots :-)

[Cadence]

Can we please leave politics out of this.

[Franziska]

Cadence, thumbs up to that!

[Don C L]

There's a book: "Do What You Love and the Money Will Follow." That seems to be good advice sometimes. If you don't LOVE the business idea, then it's probably not right for you, no matter how profitable. If you don't LOVE the idea of leading a "normal" life then, no. But by the same token, if you don't love the idea of refitting a boat and sailing around the world then that's no good either. But if you do, well then, get to it! If the sailing is a kind of escape, or search, then the answers to all the questions will be found out there, and the opinions of others will probably not calm that storm.

[Boatyarddog]

Originally Posted by Cadence

Can we please leave politics out of this.

Not about politics, that's just truth, about D.Trump.
SV Cloudduster

[rfawcett]

I was 28 in 1978 and had just finished my medical school and residency, but was not ready to go into practice. My wife and I acted on my lifelong dream to go sailing, went to Fl, bought a 35 foot wooden ketch with money i had earned moonlighting, and took off for the Keys and Bahamas for a year, spending less than $5000. It was the best decision we ever made. We got to know ourselves and each other, I learned a lot about sailing, and it primed me for years of long hours in medicine. Some nights later when I was dead on my feet in the hospital, I would say to myself, “You know, if things ever get unbearable here, I can always go sailing again.” Now I’m retired after 40 years in medicine, still married to the same woman, and still sail two to four days at a time. I keep memories of that year in my heart. GO SAILING!!!

[Cheechako]

My advice is get to work, establish himself in engineering, get a good resume and nestegg. Then go if he wants. Take his vacations at charter and see how much he really wants to.
However, at 36 he could go for a few years and still get his career going. I went in my mid 30's and my former employer paid to get me back after a couple years, even shipping my boat back. Maybe cruising will help sort his goals out for him.

[contrail]

My observation, based on when I first went cruising in the 90's, was that after someone was out cruising for two or more years, they became fundamentally unemployable, not because of a lack of talent, but in the sense that they became too independent and wouldn't put up with nonsense. Nothing bad there, and many went on to very unusual careers, or kept sailing. Probably quite a few here on this forum! Including me.

Since your nephew seems to be fundamentally unemployable now, in the NORMAL sense of the word, he has nothing to lose. What he has to gain, would be that sense of accomplishment, independence, creativity and impatience with nonsense, and it may well stand him in really good stead in the future. He will probably go on to work in some field he never even considered, before, possibly in a location he has never heard of. People often hire sailors because they are considered to be self-reliant creative thinkers.

If he doesn't go, he will always wonder, even if the business idea works. Having had one or two of those ideas, myself, I agree with those who note the low percentage of success and the high degree of focus needed to succeed.

Best of luck to him, and hat's off to you for caring.

Cheers,
Tim