92-year old Navy veteran on boat delivery.

[Snowind]

Hey there fellow cruisers. This is my first post on the Cruisers Forum and I'd appreciate opinions any and all about an upcoming passage my wife and I are planning.

Background: We finally are making time to do some cruising. After a 25 year hiatus away from the water we pulled the trigger and bought a Leopard 40 catamaran. We take delivery late June in Fort Lauderdale and plan to sail her up the East Coast to the Chesapeake Bay. We plan to be in the Gulfstream 5-7 days straight during the almost 1000 mile trip.

Question: How feasible is it for a 92 year old person to make this trip with us. My father is absolutely determined to join my wife and I on this trip? He still drives a car but his mobility is very challenged and I'm very concerned about him getting injured or worse during the trip. We'll never be more than 24 hours from a decent port if we need to come to shore. However, due to many extenuating circumstances, I need to get the boat out of Florida and up to Virginia ASAP.

FWIW: We will have an experienced boat delivery captain on board with us.

Thanks in advance for your opinions!

Kurt

[Snore]

If I was the delivery captain (I’m not), I would not be comfortable with it, on a straight run. We could do coastal hops, this way if it is bumpy I could duck in. But it is reasonable to expect some 8-10’s and going around Cape Hatteras can be gnarly on a good day.

Now add to this a 92 y/o WWII veteran and the odds of injury go up. I believe he would also be more susceptible to dehydration, should he get sea sick. A 40’ boat is a lot more lively than a Navy vessel. I thank him for his service. Having visited Normandy, I truly appreciate what his generation did.

But I believe as a Navy Veteran, he understands the Master will be responsible for his safety.

[GordMay]

Greetings and welcome aboard the CF, Kurt.

FWIW: If I should make it to 92 Y/O, I'll worry less about prolonging my life, than I will about enjoying it.

[a64pilot]

Change the plans, to not do it in one shot, but break it up.
That way your going in anyway and if he feels bad he won’t think your going in because of him, cause I bet even though he is in bad shape he won’t say take me in, I can’t take it anymore.
Then you can play it by ear, if he doesn’t do well then you can rent a car or whatever it takes to get him home safe.

Problem is maybe you’ll get lucky and the weather will be fine and it will be a milk run.
I’ve yet to get one of those myself, weather always is not what was forecasted, and yes I have paid for Chris Parker and still the weather usually kicks our butts on a more than two day trip.

So have it already planned for the weather to turn bad and you be in port.

You have a generator and AC? Cause if the wind dies, it can get Africa hot and at that age I assume his bodies temp regulation may be compromised.

In other words, make the trip about him, plan everything around his needs and wants, cause you may not get many more chances.
I’d love to take my Father sailing, unfortunately he passed years before that was possible, but I’d give a whole lot for just one day with him.

You could spend pretty much most of a week just running up the ICW, anchoring at night running the generator and AC, it’s not real sailing but it would be a week with you and your Father on your boat.

[Richard5]

Obviously no two individuals are alike. You can answer your question better than anyone here since you know your dad better. I would amend the route to include several planned ports of call with the possibility of other stops. And, if you can afford a delivery captain for a 1,000 mile trip you could arrange a medical professional to be aboard. Certainly you can find a travel nurse (its an actual thing) who would leap at the opportunity.

A two crew (you and wife) would probably be insufficient to stand watch and provide care for your dad when the need arises. I mean, you could do it but how much would it stress you? A third hand taking lead to provide any assistance (I'm not talking of specific medical event) would relieve you as primary caregiver and allow you to be more mindful of ship duties.

To be clear, I would do it. Take dad and enjoy life.

BTW: you haven't said what the del. capt. feels about it. Also, if there are any concerns on that end, would getting to GA or SC solve your immediate concern of getting the boat out of FL? A short hop might be all that is needed at this time.

[MartinR]

Originally Posted by GordMay

FWIW: If I should make it to 92 Y/O, I'll worry less about prolonging my life, than I will about enjoying it.

Yes, that was exactly my thought also. If he wants to go why not? The risk is probably higher than staying ashore, but so are the potential rewards.

I had my 86 year old father in law with me a few years ago. First time he was sailing, actually. He lost a little weight due to seasickness (which was good), but he really enjoyed it.

Now he is 89, he wants to go again

And, as you have a catamaran, it is fairly easy to move around on the boat.

[Pete7]

How much room do you have in the cockpit? I would buy a cheap second hand arm chair for him to sit in, be comfortable and enjoy the ride, then ditch it when you arrive.

Pete

[Richard5]

Originally Posted by a64pilot

Change the plans, to not do it in one shot, but break it up.

In other words, make the trip about him, plan everything around his needs and wants, cause you may not get many more chances.
I’d love to take my Father sailing, unfortunately he passed years before that was possible, but I’d give a whole lot for just one day with him.

Damn straight. Besides, Kurt's 92 yr old vet would probably show him a thing or two. Every time I have sat a vet flyer in the cockpit he comes alive with old memories. For them, they are more than just memories, they start acting like they are back in it, becoming animated and very lucid about every little detail. That is when I shut up and sit back to watch and learn.

Yup, there is much I didn't do with ol dad and now those opportunities are gone.

[Snowind]

Originally Posted by GordMay

Greetings and welcome aboard the CF, Kurt.

FWIW: If I should make it to 92 Y/O, I'll worry less about prolonging my life, than I will about enjoying it.

That's his feelings about it for sure. My wife thinks it's rather selfish for him to impose like this on us and I'm struggling with telling him he can't come. He already lives with us in our home so we see him every day.

[Snowind]

Originally Posted by Richard5

Obviously no two individuals are alike. You can answer your question better than anyone here since you know your dad better. I would amend the route to include several planned ports of call with the possibility of other stops. And, if you can afford a delivery captain for a 1,000 mile trip you could arrange a medical professional to be aboard. Certainly you can find a travel nurse (its an actual thing) who would leap at the opportunity.

A two crew (you and wife) would probably be insufficient to stand watch and provide care for your dad when the need arises. I mean, you could do it but how much would it stress you? A third hand taking lead to provide any assistance (I'm not talking of specific medical event) would relieve you as primary caregiver and allow you to be more mindful of ship duties.

To be clear, I would do it. Take dad and enjoy life.

BTW: you haven't said what the del. capt. feels about it. Also, if there are any concerns on that end, would getting to GA or SC solve your immediate concern of getting the boat out of FL? A short hop might be all that is needed at this time.

Dad truly thinks he can help us out during the trip. Helping with the watches... primarily. I had to stress with him the other day that he needs to call out for help if he sees anything wrong and not try to handle things on his own.

He'd be offended if I suggested bringing a care giver.

BTW: A delivery skipper runs about $300 a day plus expenses.

[Snowind]

Originally Posted by Richard5

Damn straight. Besides, Kurt's 92 yr old vet would probably show him a thing or two. Every time I have sat a vet flyer in the cockpit he comes alive with old memories. For them, they are more than just memories, they start acting like they are back in it, becoming animated and very lucid about every little detail. That is when I shut up and sit back to watch and learn.

Yup, there is much I didn't do with ol dad and now those opportunities are gone.

He and I have sailed together quite a bit long ago. We used to race club races down in Fort Myers, FL with the Cape Coral Sailing Club. We even won 1st overall two years in a row in the cruising class in our McGregor 25 we co-owned.

I've spent a lot of time with this old man and I love him dearly. Honestly I'd prefer him not to come on this trip but it means so much to him I just can't tell him no! It is however, causing a lot of friction in my life with my wife.

K

[a64pilot]

Originally Posted by Snowind

That's his feelings about it for sure. My wife thinks it's rather selfish for him to impose like this on us and I'm struggling with telling him he can't come. He already lives with us in our home so we see him every day.

No offense intended, but I’d leave her at home before I would my Father, you have decades left with her, your Father maybe not.
Take him for a few days, short hops, then have a plan on getting him home before you go offshore for a long stretch.
Your beginning to cruise right? That isn’t done to a schedule, if you have one, find a way to do different, maybe leave the boat in Brunswick Ga, well protected and usually far enough North for Insurence, then finish the delivery later.

I haired a delivery skipper myself, but think I paid less. In truth he wasn’t of much use, just someone else to take a watch.
That is a big enough boat that you could surely take additional crew, probably unpaid, many would like the experience, and depending on your experience level, you may not need someone more competent than to wake you if they see something they don’t understand.
We travelled with our kids helming as we had no autopilot to start with, and that was their instructions, anything changes, wake me up.

As I expect your on a schedule with a start and an end date, expect to motor a LOT, sailing winds and schedules often don’t coincide.

On our week long delivery around Fl, I think we sailed maybe two hours

[Richard5]

Kurt says it's causing friction with his wife. He says he's about there to tell his dad that he cannot come. He says his dad would be offended if a nurse, or other, were to come along.
It seems to me that pretty much answers the question. The only thing I could add here is how offended would dad be if left at the dock? In that light, the perceived offense of bringing a third hand would be less than leaving him at the dock.
Nonetheless, the relationship with wife takes precedence. The task then becomes to convince the wife. A cudgel and a loud speaker playing a repetitious 'It's not all about you' may be required. Wait, I mean your should have a serious discussion with wife to examine the cause(s) for her objections.

a64pilot says he'd ditch the wife before leaving dad at the dock.
I completely understand the sentiment but when a man marries a woman, his marriage comes before all others. Let no one put asunder....
Also, no one knows the number of their days. It is quite plausible to think one could expire before the other, and not in the presumed order. So, toss out that as a factor to help determine the answer which Kurt seeks.

Since it seems it is immediately necessary to move the boat, I suggest either a short trip to GA or SC, or take a couple of buddies along in lieu of wife and dad. Pull a Kobayashi Maru (Captain Kirk reference).

[Richard5]

It sounds harsh but here goes; wife is throwing a tantrum and dad might be offended. Gee, it's life, stop worrying so much about the feelings of others. Think of it as a business, remove the emotion. The business is you must move the boat. And, as long as you're gonna move the boat it might as well be all the way to the Chesapeake. Either wife drops her objections or she cannot come. Dad, you too, get over yourself.

EDIT: I'm now thinking its not really about dad's age. Its more about his gruff personality and how he'll want to take charge just like he does so often. It will suck the joy out of it.
My dad was 26 yr active USMC. I know what its like. Ya love him and he taught you so much but hell's bells.... If Kurt's dad is like my dad, he won't show it - in fact he'll probably act hurt - but he will respect you immensely for squaring your self for making the difficult decision.

[Valmika]

I,d say take him. If your worried about getting him to shore buy a spot gps locator and for $17 dollars a year you get the $500,000 evac insurance where they will come get him and get him to a hospital. (it may need to be in his name)


Maybe do a shorter two day run as atrial and have a plan to call it short for him if it doesn't feel right.



Quick question. Has anybody ever used this insurance? Did it work?