Cruiser Dating?

[S/V Reveille]

I don't know anyone like this either...
Maybe a failed attempt at humor, but sounds more like a description of an inner city homeless pan-handler... Not any sailors that I know.

[JPA Cate]

All of us who have been offshore have seen them. They do exist. But, I don't think they are hunting for a partner, either, and so they suit themselves. What the eye sees is not what commercials teach women to expect or want.

How many cruisers, especially for work on the boat in hot places prefer lacy T-shirts? Maybe stained, but clean. Not a high class yachtie look. But who wants to wear good T-shirts for a bottom job?

Ann

[Fore and Aft]

MicHughV is describing a fair few of my clients, the only thing he missed is the dog and a bad case of misogynism.
Thank goodness there has been a slow increase over the years of couples and families cruising.
The demographics are definitely changing but there are still plenty of grotty yachties out there.
Cheers

[EngNate]

Originally Posted by Mark0808

Quote: Hey mods, taking this one step further, I think there needs to be some icon on CF so both men and women know who are the singletons (if they want to advertise as such). Make it pink, blue and rainbow hued. Then people should make an effort to PM each other (emphasis on "effort") and start the conversation.

+1. I think that's a good idea. It doesn't make CF a dating site.. it's optional. And PM's make it between those two people, who if they've opted to have the icon, must be somewhat interested. Great Idea![/QUOTE]

+1

[RaymondR]

It's my experience that misogynists are made and not born??

[ben2go]

Originally Posted by RaymondR

It's my experience that misogynists are made and not born??

That's true I think.

[Spring-Fever]

Excellent point on sanding and anti-fouling painting skills. Yes, I believe a good woman with hull paint in her hair jumps a full 2 to 3 points on the universal "10-point attractiveness scale". :-)



(Hopefully readers understand this is all in jest!)

[jtsailjt]

I'm married now but was single for a long time while owning sailboats so gained some experience in this area. As background, I've never been good at or even comfortable "hitting on" women and don't do well in a bar environment or even on dating sites (I downplayed my finances a lot to avoid gold diggers) and I would say that while I've always kept myself quite fit, my overall appearance is about average, not "that guy" that women just naturally seem to lust after, but I have to say the one time when women would come on to me was when I took them sailing. Maybe it was partially the sort of woman I took sailing but I think it was the whole ambience and one on one attention you can give them that works very heavily in our favor as sailors. Many times, dates became even more amorous than I ever dreamt they might be and I had to figure out a way to politely let them know without hurting their feeling that we REALLLY needed to get back to the mooring or anchored before I could pay attention to them in that way. I hope this doesn't sound like I'm bragging because I'm not at all. I just noticed a distinct difference between how many women responded to spending time with me on my boats vs spending time with that same woman on land. I don't know exactly what about sailing caused it but it happened way too many times to be a fluke, but similar situations on land were extremely rare for me so it seems there's definitely some magic available to single sailors that can help them find a mate if that's what they want.

[MicHughV]

I agree.....like you...married now, and happily married at that, but single for a long time.

Yes, many women do like the sailing thing, but usually just for a day or so and then only in protected waters. The " head" is usually a big deal for them....pump their own ____...seems to be a sticking point....and all the other amenities most women take for granted....long hot showers...30 minutes with the blow dryer, etc...air-conditioning on a hot sweaty night and so on....

But, having said that, also met a fair number of women, that made pretty good ship-mates....month long cruises, etc....but at the end of the day, the call of land is too strong. At least, that was the case with me.

The old adage of sailors having a woman in every port seems to hold true. There is some "bad boy" appeal it seems. Most sailors are more derring do than your average land based man, and some women find this appealing, not for a long term relationship per se, but certainly as an "experience".

Now, before I get lambasted again, this has just been my experience. Might not be universal.

I've experienced both....the happy go lucky free spirited solo sailor and the committed relationship....to the OP, who can say when the "right" one comes along...could be tomorrow....could be 10 years from now, but in the meantime, be yourself, let your hair down, grow a beard, etc and some fun..

[ShinyHappy]

Originally Posted by jtsailjt

...I have to say the one time when women would come on to me was when I took them sailing.

I think sailing can show a man in a manly way. You're working up a sweat raising sails and maybe there's some chop so the boats jumping around and you turn to a close reach and the heel is a little unnerving to her. Then you tack and you're resetting sails. And all the while what seems a little out of control to her you're just taking in stride, doing your thing, putting in some effort.

I'm not saying women sailors can't and don't enjoy those things just as much, but for non-sailors, those stereotypical "manly" things can be attractive. In the same vein as the Marlboro Man roping dogies.

[wolfgal]

Originally Posted by ShinyHappy

I think sailing can show a man in a manly way. You're working up a sweat raising sails and maybe there's some chop so the boats jumping around and you turn to a close reach and the heel is a little unnerving to her. Then you tack and you're resetting sails. And all the while what seems a little out of control to her you're just taking in stride, doing your thing, putting in some effort.

i'm not saying women sailors can't and don't enjoy those things just as much, but for non-sailors, those stereotypical "manly" things can be attractive. In the same vein as the Marlboro Man roping dogies.

although i do not doubt your perspective on this (yes, sailing men are quite the thing to watch, especially the fit ones), it hits me how i interpreted what was written by jtsailjt much differently:
i imagined him peaceful, very peaceful while sailing, and very appreciative of the ocean and the movement of the boat. for me, he got the girl from being in tune with it all, quiet and contemplative...

this to say, whereas a guy who stays fit and sails well (with confidence) is certainly something that catches the eye, not all women are looking at what any observer can see. in my experience, women want to know about what's going on inside. if the guy is obviously at ease and simply very happy to be sailing and exudes this and can extend it to include her in his feel-good bubble, i think he stands a much better chance at catching that gal than a marlboro man with a six-pack.

[RaymondR]

(Hopefully readers understand this is all in jest!)

50% of the population might but you are in really dangerous territory now mate, I have also found that women have absolutely no sense of humor when it comes to antifouling.

[ShinyHappy]

Originally Posted by wolfgal

although i do not doubt your perspective on this (yes, sailing men are quite the thing to watch, especially the fit ones), it hits me how i interpreted what was written by jtsailjt much differently:
i imagined him peaceful, very peaceful while sailing, and very appreciative of the ocean and the movement of the boat. for me, he got the girl from being in tune with it all, quiet and contemplative...

That could be so. Amorous advances would be less probable during the lively sail I pictured.

[Sailingsailor12]

When you have given up on the idea of meeting someone, you act like your true self around the opposite sex. All real, the burping, the farting, no trying to impress, no thinking oh my goodness is she hot, or I have to be my best. That is when it has happened for me. Good luck.

[gamayun]

Originally Posted by ShinyHappy

I think sailing can show a man in a manly way. You're working up a sweat raising sails and maybe there's some chop so the boats jumping around and you turn to a close reach and the heel is a little unnerving to her. Then you tack and you're resetting sails. And all the while what seems a little out of control to her you're just taking in stride, doing your thing, putting in some effort.



I'm not saying women sailors can't and don't enjoy those things just as much, but for non-sailors, those stereotypical "manly" things can be attractive. In the same vein as the Marlboro Man roping dogies.

Cute in a hero sort of way, but this doesn't seem to work in the reverse for most of the women skippers I know. We usually get told what to do even if it's the first time the guy has ever set foot on the boat (and some have have rarely sailed). Methinks this is a gender dynamic thing.

As to what women want, which might help here in addition to getting cleaned up on occasion, is if guys would be more inquisitive and curious about the world. For example, I have a line in a dating profile where I say I do blackwater/public safety diving. Do you know absolutely no one has ever asked me about this? You'd think that would be a gimme line.

On general, if you want to find a good companion then you should not be someone who seems to be stuck in a rut. Ruts are just not very interesting to get into....