Cruisers Who Fail...

[Christian Van H]

Originally Posted by John A

This thread is a very odd request.

I'm quite aware that it's odd. I am hoping that others on the forum have heard and can relay stories that we might all learn from. This idea came about from something that recently happened to a friend. They are cruising, something pretty bad happened, and we wondered if that might be "it" for them. Cant be more specific on the forum. This got us to thinking...and here we are.

[paradix]

"Failure" is a funny word to choose. To me, the only failure would be in persisting in doing something you're hating or which isn't taking you where you thought, or where you want to go. I don't look back on any of the (many) dead-ends in my life as failures. They were just paths that lead in a direction I realised I didn't want to go (or couldn't afford to go), but taught me a lot along the way. Success what you make it, not what someone else has defined.

[Irwin325]

Maybee we can see things the same way as I can see the knoledge in some one who has done it the wronge way and is willing to share it with us. I just took your post as wanting to hear form those failures out there and what it was that was the last straw on the proverbial camels back and other sticky details that all to many of us are cursed with in wanting to ditch the normal US buisness life. I can say for one ond atleast a few others that it can be done and on the cheap,
here IT COMES,, if your willing to do what it takes, stop asking when th eeconomey will turn, dont blame what ever is isn the news tonight. There is a mmarket for what ever if you willing.
Im trying to relocate from west texas to Houaton area and am having hell cause I refuse to take a job that ios bellow what I want to earn or doing things that I feel are past
So CVH you may not fall in to this and most of these will probabl fall in to your OP. Get off your ass and reduce, reduce , reduce then

[Christian Van H]

Originally Posted by paradix

"Failure" is a funny word to choose. To me, the only failure would be in persisting in doing something you're hating or which isn't taking you where you thought, or where you want to go.

You are quite right, Paradix. Now that I look back on it, Failure was probably not a good choice. I cant change the thread title now, but we are on the same wavelength. Example: A husband and wife work and save for years to buy the "perfect" catamaran for their retirement cruise. They take off from the East Coast, and by the time they get to the V.I.s he or she has had enough. They thought it could last forever, but it was over in 8 months. Failure? Not really, but a story I'd like to hear the particulars of...

[Irwin325]

I for one know that I can get to my goal of spending 1-2 years easy in the Bahammas/Caribbean before I turn 40 cause I dont mind reducing my lifestyle to get there. I may have to stay in West Texas for a few more months or longer but thats what needs done to continue in the dream.
They dont post there stories cause they didnt get there plans off the ground and the majority of the ones that do post em are just cryin Or better said pissin in the wind. (now let me save myself from my last statment. I know there is the exception and I want to say thanks for the insight on the experiences from the ones that have sailed and came back to tell us about there miss adventures and how we may make better on there mistakes.)
Hey what the heck do I know I just dislike Pessimism.

For those that find the life incompatable though why do I need to here from them, what can we learn from them. If they find this incompatabl,e it sounds to me that all you want to hear is how they F*#@ed up

[James S]

Generally speaking, I believe that we always make the right choices...since the choice is made on the information at hand at the time the decision is made and, of course, our ability to process it, how can it be wrong?
We are only human and have the tools we have.

Sure, the results of those decisions can be disasters...but that’s something else.

[Stillraining]

Originally Posted by James S

Generally speaking, I believe that we always make the right choices... .

Ah!..its all clear as glass now

Now I know why you live bigger then I do..

[Chattcatdaddy]

Originally Posted by maxingout

I enjoy stories of ordinary people who do extraordinary things. It inspires me to live my dreams. Stories of people who are beaten down by life and who surrender their dreams don't do much for me.
.

Same here. Harry Pidgeon is my hero. Who wants to hear about those that gave up or quit.

[James S]

Originally Posted by Stillraining

Ah!..its all clear as glass now

Now I know why you live bigger then I do..

I wouldn’t say I live bigger....may be louder

[thinwater]

Originally Posted by Chattcatdaddy

Same here. Harry Pidgeon is my hero. Who wants to hear about those that gave up or quit.

Some expect the same comfort they have on land, which is really impossible (your house is nicer and life on land easier than on your boat, no matter what the boat). The pay-off of course, is in new experiences. You have to like surprises.

I have spent many years rock climbing, ice climbing, and mountaineering. I once asked a friend why a certain scary but clasic mountain route was still as solitary as it had been 20 years before, even with all of this talk of "rock walls" and crowding at the local crag. He replied, "you can't see the bar from there." He meant it figuratively. The reality is that there are a finite number of people that like adventure, and only that small number will be found far from the beaten path. Sudden "fad" status or a boom in prosperity won't change that. Perhaps the percentage that like real you-could-die adventure is declining.

Both adventure climbing and adventure sailing have become more accessible do to improvements in technology and reductions in price. The psycology of the undertaking has not changed as much.

[MarkJ]

Hi Chris,

I have a story so sad that it makes me touch a piece of wood every time I think of it. It also makes me so vehement when I hear people wanting to do this whole thing on old vessels without the money to back the old vessel up, or some other major handicap to suceeding.

A guy here suicided recently, not long before we arrived. The marina people towed his boat to the other side of the bay, I can see it, and they use his dinghy and OB still. The boat, ketch, old is for sale but at a high price - no ones interested, no one would be unless its free. Why? Because its and old shitlocker and the cabin has an engine spread across it. Never could be fixed, no budget to get parts or someone who could fix it.

Its sad. So sad. No one talks about it. Or him.


So what do I learn that I feel should be mentioned to those about to buy a boat and go?

A 'blue water' boat has to get you through the shore side passages too.
A budget must be realistic and achievable.
A contingency fund must be available.
What might look nice on Yachtworld may not fit in with the above.

For those who already have a boat and are about to go:
Treat your boat gently.
Treat yourself gently
Treat your boat, but never yourselves till you know the budget is right.




Then you can have lotsa fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Mark

[David_Old_Jersey]

Originally Posted by Christian Van H

Where are the couple's stories who saved and dreamed, only to have a miserable time and soon packed it in? Personally, I have gone cruising before, and know what to expect, but many have waited years, and ventured out after retirement, etc... not everyone who shoves off can have what it takes, or even a clear picture of what to expect.

I have wondered about this before......especially folks who appear on this site with "the dream" to sail off into the sunset forever in 3 / 5 / 10 years down the line. It's always seemed rather impolite to ask "so, WTF you gonna do if you don't like it?"

In my case I wouldn't mind doing some extended boat travelling, at some point......but I have never understood the attraction of "the dream" - maybe comes from having grown up "messing around in boats", so for me it's only a boat ? Plus I have done a little bit of extended land based trips, so sitting on me backside in the tropics with a beer and beach isn't special (hell, where I come from I can easily do that). I dunno really?, the boat travelling thing just doesn't seem that special to build one's dreams around......must be folks who when they (finally) venture out decided that their dreams lay elsewhere (no criticism meant - life & dreams do move on).

[Christian Van H]

Originally Posted by MarkJ

Its sad. So sad. No one talks about it. Or him.

Hi Mark. I'm glad you did. Seems he dug himself a hole so deep, his perception was that he could never climb out...what a shame. I've learned over the course of our five+ year refit that it takes years of experience to know what you are truly getting into when you buy an old boat (sometimes it doesn't even have to be old...). If you do, you better keep the funds flowing, really flowing. Harder still is balancing your time between generating income, and working on the boat. This refit period is no joke...

[imagine2frolic]

Sometimes we set a goal, and can't reach it. That doesn't necessarily mean it was a failure. There can be valuable lessons learned in not reaching a goal. Possibly these lessons will help us reach that goal at a later time?

I read books of sailing where it is doom, and gloom. What I learn from what one might see as a failure can be a valuable to me at some time. Unless you were born into sailing. For most there are some hard lessons to be learned along the way.

I think what most people visualize are those damned sailing magazine covers. Those that learn to accept that sailing is not always a slick magazine cover. Those will be the ones to adapt, and continue on.........i2f

[Vasco]

Most sailors want to "go cruising" someday, one day. Most talk about it but few get to do it. That's my first point, few finally get to go. Case in point, my own. Three of us in my club were discussing cruising and we all made a pact to "go south" in September. The other two were retired. We (my wife and I) were not. Come September we left. The other two couples never did go cruising.

Once you get out there you see many a boat where the couple is not in total agreement about cruising. In most cases it's the wife or female partner that doesn't like it. She has never liked sailing but it was ok on day sails at home and the social life at the club was great. They end up cruising, albeit many grudgingly, because it was the husband's "dream". Two people on a boat, away from their usual life and friends, and one doesn't like it. There is only one ending to this story, they quit.

That , in my view, is the number one reason the "dream" fails. It must be a dream both want and sadly, that is seldom the case.

Cruising is much better with a partner you can share the experience with.