Horrible Guests, Terrible Crew

[hellosailor]

Ken?
I think you're missing an elephant in the room. Ask yourself, how come you do not have better taste in "friends" ??
If you think characters like this are your friends and that you really know them after long times, and they turn out to be...convicted sex offenders and scoundrels?
You've got a re-assess how you are choosing friends. Be pickier. Be less trusting.

And when it comes to "would insist on going out to eat at each stop to a restaurant of their choosing (expensive)," you've got to realize, it is perfectly good karma to say "Excuse me, I've got to use the restroom" at the next meal, after really ordering the finest, and then slipping out the back door and casting off, leaving your guests stuck in the restaurant and stuck with their own way home.

Or you close the fuel vent, let the engine die, putter around for an hour, and announce "I don't think the engine can be fixed, we're going to have to stay here for a week till spares can be shipped in and a mechanic gets to it" and let your good friends announce how they can't wait that long, they'll be flying home.

Karma's a bitch, and sometimes, you're allowed and encouraged to help her out.

[RaymondR]

I don't care if they are rapists or playboys with deep pockets and short arms and fart at the table lick their plates, I would invite them back again if only I could find someone who would help with the post cruise cleaning of the head.

[markpierce]

Friends or acquaintances? Anyway, it is best to agree on detailed financial issues. ... It is less an issue if your friends are generous and wealthy. ... Don't invite people with financial issues you aren't willing to make up for their shortcomings.

[Kenomac]

Originally Posted by gaucho

I really want to know your secret to being nurses and having two Oysters

Four things:
1. Work many hours when not on the boat.
2. Purchased a run down dilapidated innercity office building 25 years ago and fixed it up over a 15 year period mostly with sweat equity.
3. We don’t own a house and haven’t owned one for 13 years.
4. Car expenses are kept to a minimum, cheap reliable cars and I walk to work.

If most people sat down and calculated how much time, money and energy is wasted each year on houses and cars, the amount would be shocking.

[Kenomac]

Originally Posted by hellosailor

Ken?
I think you're missing an elephant in the room. Ask yourself, how come you do not have better taste in "friends" ??
If you think characters like this are your friends and that you really know them after long times, and they turn out to be...convicted sex offenders and scoundrels?
You've got a re-assess how you are choosing friends. Be pickier. Be less trusting.

And when it comes to "would insist on going out to eat at each stop to a restaurant of their choosing (expensive)," you've got to realize, it is perfectly good karma to say "Excuse me, I've got to use the restroom" at the next meal, after really ordering the finest, and then slipping out the back door and casting off, leaving your guests stuck in the restaurant and stuck with their own way home.

Or you close the fuel vent, let the engine die, putter around for an hour, and announce "I don't think the engine can be fixed, we're going to have to stay here for a week till spares can be shipped in and a mechanic gets to it" and let your good friends announce how they can't wait that long, they'll be flying home.

Karma's a bitch, and sometimes, you're allowed and encouraged to help her out.

We’ve only had problems with these three and one other alcoholic guy six years ago, the problem isn’t chronic. I think we caught it in time.

[Souzag818]

Originally Posted by Kenomac

Four things:
1. Work many hours when not on the boat.
2. Purchased a run down dilapidated innercity office building 25 years ago and fixed it up over a 15 year period mostly with sweat equity.
3. We don’t own a house and haven’t owned one for 13 years.
4. Car expenses are kept to a minimum, cheap reliable cars and I walk to work.

If most people sat down and calculated how much time, money and energy is wasted each year on houses and cars, the amount would be shocking.

Thank you for being honest about how you can do it. I was wondering the same thing. Cars are the biggest waste of money in my opinion. Personally own a 26 year old car that keeps going, a 34 year old boat that's awesome for just me, and a house built in 1940. Lucky you. If I had a partner that thought like I do, she and I would have an Oyster too...

[Dockhead]

Originally Posted by Kenomac

Four things:
1. Work many hours when not on the boat.
2. Purchased a run down dilapidated innercity office building 25 years ago and fixed it up over a 15 year period mostly with sweat equity.
3. We don’t own a house and haven’t owned one for 13 years.
4. Car expenses are kept to a minimum, cheap reliable cars and I walk to work.

If most people sat down and calculated how much time, money and energy is wasted each year on houses and cars, the amount would be shocking.

Cheap reliable cars? But I thought you own a Ferrari? uzzled:




But anyway, with or without the F-car, this is great advice. Unfortunately too late for 95% of the readership here. Frugality, hard work, and a well-chosen investment (or three) into real estate, early in one's career, with emphasis on early in one's career (so that the various ups and downs of the market get averaged out to the long term trend line), has created a lot of prosperity for a lot of people, later in life




Only quibble I have is about houses. Nothing wrong at all with owning your home, on the contrary. Just pay cash for it. That's the secret -- avoiding mortgages.

[Kenomac]

Originally Posted by Dockhead

Cheap reliable cars? But I thought you own a Ferrari? uzzled:




But anyway, with or without the F-car, this is great advice. Unfortunately too late for 95% of the readership here. Frugality, hard work, and a well-chosen investment (or three) into real estate, early in one's career, with emphasis on early in one's career (so that the various ups and downs of the market get averaged out to the long term trend line), has created a lot of prosperity for a lot of people, later in life




Only quibble I have is about houses. Nothing wrong at all with owning your home, on the contrary. Just pay cash for it. That's the secret -- avoiding mortgages.

The Ferraris were paid off back in 1986. I’d love to sell one or both of them, anyone interested?

Investing heavily in a primary residence (home) creates an expensive anchor which holds most people back. Something always needs to be done, money always needs to be spent, redecorate, improve, improve etc. Rental property is entirely different, it’s a good thing.

[rjash6666]

If I invite friends or familly to sail with me I have four simple rules.

1 I pay for all the Marina Fees, fuel and other boat related charges.

2 We all pay money into a Kitty to pay for Food and Booze and Restaurants.

3 We take turns in keeping the heads clean

4 Moaning and winging is banned.

I expect nothing from my crew other than obeying the above rules.
In this way I am seldom disapointed, but mostly delighted with their contribution and generosity.

On those rare occasions when their attitude is spoiling the day, I let them know quietly but firmly and they dont get invited again.

Had a great years sailing and wonderful company.

Remember of course that I am perfection itself.

[Kenomac]

Originally Posted by rjash6666

If I invite friends or familly to sail with me I have four simple rules.

1 I pay for all the Marina Fees, fuel and other boat related charges.

2 We all pay money into a Kitty to pay for Food and Booze and Restaurants.

3 We take turns in keeping the heads clean

4 Moaning and winging is banned.

I expect nothing from my crew other than obeying the above rules.
In this way I am seldom disapointed, but mostly delighted with their contribution and generosity.

On those rare occasions when their attitude is spoiling the day, I let them know quietly but firmly and they dont get invited again.

Had a great years sailing and wonderful company.

Remember of course that I am perfection itself.

That works for most people as it did for us, as we’ve never expected money for fuel or marina fees if we were going there anyway.

BUT... my wife and I are absorbing an enormous cost in providing a recent model Oyster 62 for friends and family to enjoy, I’m not going to feed them, and wait on them during a one, two or three week cruise, then listen to complaints during and after. If they want charter service, let them charter the same boat for €18,000 euros per week... which is what it costs. Food, fuel, marina fees and booze not included.
http://www.oysteryachts.com/charter/fleet

[Polux]

That's a problem that increases with the size of the boat, I mean crew.

Regarding having people aboard I restrict that to family or very close friends.

I will not trust strangers or people that I don't know very well to crew with us and I doubt that I will need or want any crew, even for an Atlantic crossing. I would love to have my "kids" with me but that's just for the fun of it.

If you want to have people aboard it is better to chart your boat at least you know what to count regarding money and for what you say of your "friends" it would not be worse and maybe you even find some nice people willing to pay to sail in a boat.

[blakeonline]

That’s the worst luck I’ve ever heard of! If you ever want guests again my wife and I have a whole year off with pay it’s 2021....we can fly anywhere for any time as long as it’s hotter than here.
I can 100 % say we are the most fun, NEXUS & Global Entry certified, double income no kids (DINK’s) super worldly cooks on land
Seriously, we have been through that same thing minus the pedophile with cheap and useless friends.
My friend in his 50’s bought a farm as his mid life crisis and I go over and cut the fields, chop the wood, tend the gardens all that Jazz.
My wife makes the big meals for the weekends while we stay and I see some people who come to hang out there but won’t lift a finger.
Neither of us have been in a sail boat but we are actively looking for the chance. We sport fish and don’t get ill from large waves.

[blakeonline]

I actually had to show my wife your story because I can only imagine the pure frustration that you experienced and that is heart wrenching to say the least.
I loose it when we book a special occasion and it’s time sensitive but people mess around. TWICE I’ve been the lead and booked a salmon fishing charter and people are late to arrive at the docks by a half hour or more. Don’t even get me started....I thought my stories could top them all but yours killed it.

[Kenomac]

Originally Posted by blakeonline

I actually had to show my wife your story because I can only imagine the pure frustration that you experienced and that is heart wrenching to say the least.
I loose it when we book a special occasion and it’s time sensitive but people mess around. TWICE I’ve been the lead and booked a salmon fishing charter and people are late to arrive at the docks by a half hour or more. Don’t even get me started....I thought my stories could top them all but yours killed it.

Yep, the sex offender was truly epic. I guess it could only have been worse if he’d vomited on me. I wonder if anyone on CF can top that one.

[blakeonline]

You had a good opportunity to take him out to international waters and let him swim where he wanted to go eh....