Someday.....

[Jon D]

Coyote

Welcome to the Club. We all have succumbed. It is just to what degree.

[bajamas]

My friend, there really isn't any cure for what you have. You are going to have to learn to live and deal with the symptoms. Fortunately, there are a few old time remedies for coping with the symptoms.

1. 1 Margarita and a Kalik chaser before bedtime (or 3 or 4 work too)

2. Tie a broom stick to the bedpost so you have something to hang your knee over

3. Spray your sheets down with a water bottle before going to sleep.

4. Conch Fritters twice a day

5. Stand on your couch and hang on to the curtains while someone pushes the couch around the living room.

6. Throw a little sand in your shoes before work (and a little in your shorts!)

7. Climb into the closet and sleep on the shoes for an hour or two.

8. Get out of bed every two hours to ensure none of your neighbors houses have gotten too close to yours and recheck to ensure your porch is still there!!

OR...you can succumb completely, go out and buy a boat and take off for the islands!!!! (IMO, the best way to deal with your ailment like the rest of us!!)

Bajamas

[2divers]

coyote once whispered in the wind:
Now here's the part I find odd.
I've always been terrified of the ocean. Not just scared, but terrified at the thought of it. I had to go through the swim check and the snorkling test before boarding the boat. I stood on the shore for half an hour before being talked in by my son. Then on the boat, I stood on the stern off and on for two days before jumping in. Once in, the experience of shoving my head under water was stunning. I simply couldn't get my mind completely around those two distinct worlds that were separated by some ephemeral plane.
I'm still not comfortable with the sea, but there's a mystic draw there that seems part erotic, part visceral, and is unlike anything I've ever experienced.

I know that feeling about being amazed and drawn to the world below the water. I've played in pools and ponds and creeks all my life, but when I learned to Scuba Dive my whole perspective on the ocean and it's capacity for love, life and raw power changed. Scuba diving is the closest I've ever felt to flying like a bird. The first time you see a bull shark or other top predator underwater, there was something on the base animal level of my being that I understood I was not the top of the food chain, but a part of it. The only time I've come close to that was an encouter with brown bear in Minnesota. Just like you could spend hours watching the desert in front of you as insects move and other animals hunt for food or take care of thier young, so will the underwater world be. Only more facinating because it is so foreign. I stopped fishing after I became a diver for two reasons. First they are beautiful in color amd motion. Second, Why fish with a rod when you don't know where they are, when all you have to do is go under to see, it seemed pointless.

[Starbuck]

Coyote,

There is no cure, and you will someday own a boat.

Until then, you can simulate the experience by standing in a cold shower with all your clothes on, tearing up one hundred dollar bills.

The sea is a sly seductress, ain't she?

"Sea-Fever"

I must down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,
And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by,
And the wheel's kick and the wind's song and the white sail's shaking,
And a grey mist on the sea's face, and a grey dawn breaking.

I must down to the seas again, for the call of the running tide
Is a wild call and a clear call that may not be denied;
And all I ask is a windy day with the white clouds flying,
And the flung spray and the blown spume, and the sea-gulls crying.

I must down to the seas again, to the vagrant gypsy life,
To the gull's way and the whale's way where the wind's like a whetted knife;
And all I ask is a merry yarn from a laughing fellow-rover
And quiet sleep and a sweet dream when the long trick's over.

By John Masefield (1878-1967)
English Poet Laureate, 1930-1967

P.S.— You write well.

[Starbuck]

Sailors who can't swim? Foolish.

Just my humble opinion.

[coyote]

Climb in the closet and sleep on the shoes.
Tear up $100s in the shower.
I'm wiping spewed coffee off my monitor.

I read them to my wife and she roared. Then she got quiet and said "Is there room on a boat for my sewing machines?" She's an award winning quilter, and if I can come up with a few pictures of a boat with piles of fabric and machines on it I'm already half way home.

[Weyalan]

Provided her sewing machine is either
(a) an old fashined foot powered treadle machine, or
(b) capable of being powered by whatever power your boat can provide (typically 12v DC unless you hav a bigish boat with a biggish budget)
And provided that her sewing machine is sufficiently robust so as to be able to be used for sail repairs....

When I post pictures next, I will include a picture of the old Viking machine I have, It is manual, hand crank type. Not fast, but it does a nice job. I am not willing to show my wifes stack of needlepoint, crocheting, and knitting projects. That is the dirty little secret that gets hidden away in the aft cabin when guests arrive but trust me. It can be done.

[coyote]

The only time I've come close to that was an encouter with brown bear in Minnesota

I've dealt with bears and mountain lions, but the shark underneath me while snorkeling was very different. With the bears and lions, I knew something about what to expect, what to do, and what not to do. (Lions want nothing to do with me, he only showed up because I was calling varmits and he suspected a wounded rabbit) You're right about the feeling that you're not at the top of the food chain.

[coyote]

The sea is a sly seductress, ain't she?

Indeed she is. We'll see how this journey develops. It's very interesting that you posted "Sea Fever". It's a poem that I memorized in junior high in an English class, and it had been years since I'd heard it. Then one day a fellow walked into my bookstore. He was from Miami and had just settled in the area. He had owned a machine shop and had been shot in a mugging. He'd sold out everything he owned and began a sort of quest to find a place to live. He was a sailor, and after we became acquainted that poem came back to me. He lasted almost two years here before he realized he simply could not live without the sea any longer. Only now am I beginning to get an inkling of what he was talking about.
If anyone encounters a very Zen sailor/machinist named Rick down Florida way, tell him the espresso machine is still working. And tell him thanks.

[coyote]

And another sailing story from the high desert...

When I came back from Keys, I couldn't shut up about the trip. I was yammering on to a friend of mine who is a very refined lady in her 70's. When I got to the point of explaining the boat and some of the rigging she got a very accomodating smile on her face and let me ramble. Finally, she said quietly "I know what a Morgan is". Then she went on to explain about boats, the history of different builders, the classes of racers, weather, etc. I was dumbfounded. Then she explained that she was somewhat of a rebellious young woman growing up in Chicago. She came from an upper class family, and had the money to purchase her very own sailboat to race on the Great Lakes. I thought she meant a one or two man boat, but it turns out that her boat required six men to race it properly. From her description, she wasn't just along for the ride either. She said under the right conditions she could single-hand her boat.
She went on with a wonderful story of a memorable race to Mackinac(sp?) during a bad storm, and I could tell from the look in her eyes and the strength in her voice that she really missed it, and would love one more run.

[2divers]

The baracuda are like the lions and coyotes. As long they are around you have nothing to fear, but just need to respect them since they are near the top of the food chain. They look mean like the preverbial junk yard dog. They really serve a good purpose as a signal underwater. As long as they are around they are the top of the food chain, when they aren't around to be seen... well... There is a simple equation for the food chain underwater. If you are bigger than it is, it is potentially food for you and will respect you as such.

Sharks are like unlike anything expect maybe an african lion or bengal tiger or maybe even a grizzley. They are apex preditors. The good news ( not that this will put down the hair on the back of you neck when you see one) is that you are not the right 'consistancy' for them. They are basically big eating machines. Like most predators underwater they are mostly muscle and therefore require huge amounts of energy to survive. Hence they move so effortlessly through the water because they are trying to conserve energy. Thier best diet would be high fat such as seals or other marine mammals. Second best is anything with a high amount of muscle protein. Most bites are really a 'taste' to see if the obect is food. A shark eating a human is really kind of like a human eating lettuce. It takes more effort to collect and eat it than you get out of it, a net negative energy intake. That being said I take all reasonable and prudent precautions never to to be tasted when I dive in salt water. And I still dive in salt water and look for sharks because they are so beautiful and graceful and at the same time scary. It must have something to do with that adrenaline rush when you see somthing that big and graceful that could eat you if so chose to try.

[Alan Wheeler]

Thats fine and dandy and all, but how do you convey to a shark, epsecially one that hasn't encounterd a human before, that you just reall aren't the effort of eating
And if I ever end up in the jaws of a large shark, I'll try and think, "hey it's OK, he may not be trying to eat me, just tast me"

[FlipFlop]

Yep ya right Wheels,guess if ya like me ya don't have to worry about that !!! Some of us are just too plain ugly to taste.Mudnut.

[h2opuppy]

You suffer from a malady known as DIF - Dreaded Island Fever.

The bad news, is there is no cure, only relief by visits to the ocean as frequently as possible.

The good news, is visits to the ocean as frequently as possible.