Crew Wanted: Crew, the world and sad, sad evolution...

[bjp447]

Just my thoughts
If you have had 3 marriages, multiple corporate jobs and are now a solitary sailor, it appears your partners and corporate peers may not be the issue.
sounds like you really just need a friend. Might want to consider docking somewhere for a little while and being part a community maybe a church group, sailing club, senior group till you get tired of people and head out again.
I had a friend who use to say " I like me, I want you to like me, and that is up to me". Actually there are probably forums for that - good luck.

[StoneCrab]

One solution is to "hire" crew instead of walking that fine line between hopes and expectations.

If it's a job, you're looking at resumes, not alluring poses.

The possibility of a personal relationship can still develop but at least you know where you're starting from and the job can have a hard stop date, which could also be a blessing.

[sepharad]

You know who you are. You know what you want. You are not ashamed to admit you have human flaws. You are also old enough, that you really aren't interested in ******** any more, (I belong to that club).


You also know what you are looking for in a crew member.



Finding a match for those specific needs can be tough. You need to be extremely honest with people about what you expect of them as crew, what their interest is (distance, competition, day-sails) and their skill level. Even though I own a boat. My skill level is damn near Zero. I explained that to someone and then when they realized it was true, they couldn't cope.


Drop me an IM and tell me where you are located and what sort of sailing you want to do. I live in the Alto Minho.


Oddly enough, we have a nice small harbor here, and except for the children (before covid) I have never seen anyone sail a boat out of the port once.


I am editing this because of my personal experiences here in Northern Portugal. THE sailing port in Portugal is Lagos. Outside of Lagos, there are people passing through, or commercial boaters. There are some other active ports in the Algarve, but up here...it is strange. There are sailing vessels in our harbor that have NEVER left port. I have met 2 people who own sailboats here who NEVER sail them.



There is a training center for Laser competitors and an amazing public sailing school for kids (Both now trashed by covid) What is weird, once they turn about 12 or 13....they just stop sailing.


Finding any kind of Day sailer for sale in Portugal is grim. 30 miles north in Spain, no problem....here...it's like hens teeth.


I am not surprised you are having a hard time finding a sailing partner who doesn't just want a day trip, to sun on your deck or is wary that you are on the prowl for sex. You are looking for someone specific in a very lean market.

[onestepcsy37]

We're you ever on the Dr Phil show?

[Kd9truck]

I fire fighter says I need the water and I’m breaking the glass

[Shrew]

Originally Posted by Albinvega27

Sad, if a reflection of something always leads to judgement. I am Psychologist, so probably YOU need the reflection of processing "incoming information". It is not all about "half full/half empty". sometimes it is just what it is...

"Let out and you are free. Keep it in and you´ll feel its weight all the time...

Btw... there is no such as half full/half empty phylosophy... only in Business Psychology to explain people to stay on the ******** forever smiling...

Brilliant! Best of luck with your search for crew.

[sailingabe41ds]

Originally Posted by ArmyDaveNY

So true.
The optimist says the glass is half empty.
The pessimist says the glass if half empty.
The realist says the glass is polluted.
The opportunist says while we were discussing what the glass was, I drank it!

...me I just say, maybe you need a smaller glass.

Abe

[davil]

Originally Posted by rmlarson1098

Thanks for the thoughtful, honest post! One comment: as a male captain, asking a prospective crew - especially female - for a photo may be fraught with peril in this delicate world. I always ask (demand) that crew be 'Height-weight proportionate'. That might also be considered rude, and maybe even sexist/ageist, but you know what? I don't care. The crew doesn't have to be Capt. Slocum, but they must (MUST) be able to handle the sailboat if I kick the bucket at sea.
And that includes the Admiral.

=========================================


just as a comment,there is a crew finder site that actually encourages the use of pictures and found some times prospective crew/skipper been upset that no pics are included considering if person A posts a pic expects the same courtesy from others.
We are now so immerse on the politically correct culture and some times just overreact may be?
Findacrew.net is an interesting site,has two subscriptions a free one and a paid,you can explore them,normally I become a paid when ready and need to correspond with potential crew, otherwise keep as free.

The application is quite comprehensive and includes experience (formal vs certification),expectations as volunteer vs paid crew,passport status,interest in romance OR very clearly NO interest in romance, AND yes pictures of interested applicant (both skippers and crew).
Also there is a section for gender preference.

For the skipper a detailed description of the vessel as well as the skipper experience.

I have been lucky with them and have selected one crew on different passages.
I noticed since the pest has affected cruising there are more crew applicants outside USA mostly Europe.

[Lexi22]

Lol!!

[Sailingsolo]

Glass half full.....



And remember... A guy will look lovingly in to a girls eyes and say her wine glass is half full or half empty..... A girl will look lovingly in to a guys eyes and say his wallet was half full but now its empty....

[BugzyCan]

If she doesn't want to share a picture, it means

a) she thinks she is ugly
b) she actually IS ugly
c) she weighs more than Moby Dick
d) its a guy messing with you.. hay, maybe he looks great in tight pants, who knows.

It has to be very hard for someone to commit to living on a small boat with a stranger, that could be mentally disturbed, a sex maniac, a cannibal or any other horrible thing someone can dream up, and then sail away, with them, with limited options for escape, for weeks at a time.

[Follow Mahalo]

I’d ask for a picture of the boat. Big fan of seaworthy.

[Wolfy]

Originally Posted by davil

=========================================


just as a comment,there is a crew finder site that actually encourages the use of pictures and found some times prospective crew/skipper been upset that no pics are included considering if person A posts a pic expects the same courtesy from others.
We are now so immerse on the politically correct culture and some times just overreact may be?
Findacrew.net is an interesting site,has two subscriptions a free one and a paid,you can explore them,normally I become a paid when ready and need to correspond with potential crew, otherwise keep as free.

The application is quite comprehensive and includes experience (formal vs certification),expectations as volunteer vs paid crew,passport status,interest in romance OR very clearly NO interest in romance, AND yes pictures of interested applicant (both skippers and crew).
Also there is a section for gender preference.

For the skipper a detailed description of the vessel as well as the skipper experience.

I have been lucky with them and have selected one crew on different passages.
I noticed since the pest has affected cruising there are more crew applicants outside USA mostly Europe.

I also single hand my 72ft steel ketch and have done so for the last couple of decades.
Occasionally, (twice) I have tried the Findacrew website for assistance in locating suitable crew for lengthy ocean crossings. First candidate which I flew from USA to Puerto Plata arrived at the boat with no resemblance to the person advertised.
Unkempt hair half way down his back, dressed in ripped shorts, torn ragged t shirt and had very little muscle tone on his body, at 6ft+ he probably weighed no more than 150lbs. When I asked him to consent to a bag search he refused.....needless to say he was not allowed on the boat and sent him off. He did thank me for the free flight and expenses I had sent to him though......
My second experience may upset all of you pc people on here, but, to cut a long story short...the guy that arrived was 100% gay and dressed accordingly along with the female charactistics that a guy shouldn't display.....sorry people but I can't spend weeks isolated on my boat with this scenario.
On both cases I undertook the crossings solo....
Just be careful in selecting crew from a website.....you just don't know what/who will show up at your boat.

[hukilaumike]

Originally Posted by sailingabe41ds

...me I just say, maybe you need a smaller glass.

Abe

I never understood this "is the glass half empty or half full" thing. Obviously, it's both....

[Flagfish]

"While it is easy to be discouraged by the current state of affairs, I think there are many people who appreciate an older, well build cruiser."

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I am an older, well built cruiser. Oh, and my boat is as well.