What Best Suits a Wife on a Catamaran?

[S/V Alchemy]

Originally Posted by goboatingnow

wow, do women come with a clew. what use is it for.



I don't know about you but I like being molested by the wife!!


Seriusly , so few cruising couples , or even weekend couples, have similar levels of seamanship, if that was the case, there'd be almost no women sailing.

dave

I understand that and wish to see it rectified in practice. It would lead to more cruising couples, and perhaps fewer fire-sale cruisers rotting on Panamanian moorings.

I think one of the reasons for the "Captain Bligh effect" is fatigue. Male skippers hot-to-trot for cruising who drag along less-than-keen spouses with resentments about being only qualified for galley slave duties not only soon realize they've bitten off more than they can chew, but that going solo might have been a better plan than bringing along someone who never wanted to go sailing in the first place.

Hence the rows of divorced skippers at the bar.

Would it not be better to cultivate competence on both sides of the cruising couple? People generally enjoy things they can do well, or at which they aren't feeling ignorant and frightened, along with the bruised and damp parts which most of us take as inevitable consequences of offshore work.

That's why the question of the OP, "what best suits a wife?" is to me the wrong question. A better one is "how may I best grow a compentent sailing partner who will share my love for the cruising lifestyle?"

Throwing 12 VDC appliances or amas at a person who would much prefer to be in a split-back bungalow in the 'burbs isn't going to work.

[goboatingnow]

Thats why in my monologue a few posts back, the key issue is that the man , needs to scale back the sailing ambitions to suit the requirements of the wife. Otherwise it the row of fellas at the bar ….

A good partner is worth way way more then a boat. Thats the key thing.

dave

[Svdestiny]

As a woman I find this all very very depressing. It would appear (and I hope I'm wrong) that the majority of women don't have a desire to sail, or have the dream to cast off for " parts unknown" on their boat, or liveaboard "living the life". Why? Where's their sense of adventure? Doesn't it sound exciting? Doesn't it sound like a challenge? It's intellectually fascinating and emotionally gratifying! Why don't women seek it out as much as men?

I understand it's not for everyone but sheesh, ladies what's WRONG with you? It seems that many more women than men will sell their soul for a house or security or this bizarre need to stay close to their extended family . I don't understand it. Sorry, rant over. Will go back to painting my deck and making caramel brownies while the wind howls and the boat rocks .

[Svdestiny]

Oh. And our boat is an old Morgan 34, no shower, but a workable galley, roomy v berth(!), lots of gizmos, new diesel ( but new sails are on my list)and has brought us safely from Connecticut to Guatemala. With two dogs.

[Cuttyhunk]

Originally Posted by Svdestiny

As a woman I find this all very very depressing. It would appear (and I hope I'm wrong) that the majority of women don't have a desire to sail, or have the dream to cast off for " parts unknown" on their boat, or liveaboard "living the life". Why? Where's their sense of adventure? Doesn't it sound exciting? Doesn't it sound like a challenge? It's intellectually fascinating and emotionally gratifying! Why don't women seek it out as much as men?

I understand it's not for everyone but sheesh, ladies what's WRONG with you? It seems that many more women than men will sell their soul for a house or security or this bizarre need to stay close to their extended family . I don't understand it. Sorry, rant over. Will go back to painting my deck and making caramel brownies while the wind howls and the boat rocks .

[Cuttyhunk]

Originally Posted by Svdestiny

Oh. And our boat is an old Morgan 34, no shower, but a workable galley, roomy v berth(!), lots of gizmos, new diesel ( but new sails are on my list)and has brought us safely from Connecticut to Guatemala. With two dogs.

You're from Connecticut…that explains it. Me, too!

[Therapy]

Originally Posted by Svdestiny

As a woman I find this all very very depressing. It would appear (and I hope I'm wrong) that the majority of women don't have a desire to sail, or have the dream to cast off for " parts unknown" on their boat, or liveaboard "living the life". Why? Where's their sense of adventure? Doesn't it sound exciting? Doesn't it sound like a challenge? It's intellectually fascinating and emotionally gratifying! Why don't women seek it out as much as men?

I understand it's not for everyone but sheesh, ladies what's WRONG with you? It seems that many more women than men will sell their soul for a house or security or this bizarre need to stay close to their extended family . I don't understand it. Sorry, rant over. Will go back to painting my deck and making caramel brownies while the wind howls and the boat rocks .

Why?
It's genetic.
You are just missing some of those genes.
How many children do you have?

[Svdestiny]

Therapy are you intentionally insulting? Like I'm not a real woman? Because i lije to travel about in a sailboat?

Actually I was a stay at home mom (kids all grown up now ), then went back to school to become a nurse ( specialty: interventional radiology). Didnt even know about sailboats then, but I was into flying airplanes ( albeit small ones

[goboatingnow]

I think Theraphy wasn't insulting you, merely pointing out that most women, and this is clearly evidenced, are not avid sailors, especially long distance ones. A trip to any yacht club or race day etc will demonstrate that quite sufficiently.

Many women, love visiting foreign places, travelling to experience new adventures etc, it just few want to do it by boat thats all. Those like you, are to be treasured , but don't be suprised that you are in a small minority

dave

[Svdestiny]

Thank you Dave...what a sweet, and diplomatic, response.

[Therapy]

Awwwww. Geee. Thanks Dave. XXOO

Originally Posted by Svdestiny

Therapy are you intentionally insulting? Like I'm not a real woman? Because i lije to travel about in a sailboat?

Actually I was a stay at home mom (kids all grown up now ), then went back to school to become a nurse ( specialty: interventional radiology). Didnt even know about sailboats then, but I was into flying airplanes ( albeit small ones

No.
It just seems that way to you.

Do you not recognize that you are a small (shall we say minuscule) minority?

Most women even after rearing children, have no interest in anything remotely dangerous or strenuous -physically or emotionally. Women don't seem to want to leave the known, safe place even if it might be interesting. At least that is what I have noticed.

And also here on CF over the years it plays over and over again. The man wants to get a boat and adventure the woman does not. If the woman gets convinced to try it then it lasts a short time till she has had enough. If it continues then it is in the minuscule numbers that you fall into. I think it's genetic.

Have you not noticed this in the numbers you see out there?

How do you explain it? Daddy didn't let them in the garage enough as little girls. Not enough exposure?

All the women I know of this age and circumstance that even want to travel want the same comforts of home every day and night they are abroad. They want their hair dryer and their makeup and their jewelry and the security to keep it.

Do I live in a place where all the women are different than the "norm"? I don't think so.

[44'cruisingcat]

Originally Posted by Svdestiny

As a woman I find this all very very depressing. It would appear (and I hope I'm wrong) that the majority of women don't have a desire to sail, or have the dream to cast off for " parts unknown" on their boat, or liveaboard "living the life". Why? Where's their sense of adventure? Doesn't it sound exciting? Doesn't it sound like a challenge? It's intellectually fascinating and emotionally gratifying! Why don't women seek it out as much as men?

I understand it's not for everyone but sheesh, ladies what's WRONG with you? It seems that many more women than men will sell their soul for a house or security or this bizarre need to stay close to their extended family . I don't understand it. Sorry, rant over. Will go back to painting my deck and making caramel brownies while the wind howls and the boat rocks .

Truth is, while more of them may dream about it, the majority of MEN don't cast off and "live the life" either.

[Cuttyhunk]

I guess he is not intentionally insulting. Nonetheless, insulting! And definitely trying to discourage women from posting here.

[goboatingnow]

My daughters grew up on boats , both could sail well before they could drive. Will they muck around in boats , probably not.

Sailing offshore , even sailing inshore , is not activity that women gravitate to. Some do, but the vast majority don't .

After that most women go to sea to support there husbands. Sometimes they get quite good and competent and develop a liking for it. But had the man suggested touring the world by RV, they would have done that too.

Women are different, they have different goals , values and priorities. If that coincides with your ones that great , if it doesn't then both of you will have to compromise , if you can't , separation will follow.

I mean what's complicated about this topic.

Dave

[S/V Alchemy]

Originally Posted by Svdestiny

As a woman I find this all very very depressing. It would appear (and I hope I'm wrong) that the majority of women don't have a desire to sail, or have the dream to cast off for " parts unknown" on their boat, or liveaboard "living the life". Why? Where's their sense of adventure? Doesn't it sound exciting? Doesn't it sound like a challenge? It's intellectually fascinating and emotionally gratifying! Why don't women seek it out as much as men?

I understand it's not for everyone but sheesh, ladies what's WRONG with you? It seems that many more women than men will sell their soul for a house or security or this bizarre need to stay close to their extended family . I don't understand it. Sorry, rant over. Will go back to painting my deck and making caramel brownies while the wind howls and the boat rocks .

I'm not sure there are many people who could answer that, sailors or not. Sailing women (who like sailing and are good at it) are great: sailing demands competence and often inventiveness, but the reward is not just "not drowning" or "not losing the boat", but an entire life very different to that usually led ashore.

But many are happy with predictable and safe, and as I don't want the seas to get crowded and the landfalls abandoned, I wouldn't change that!