Gay life: cruising and aboard a ship

[FlightPlan]

Originally Posted by Rustic Charm

This accusations accusing him of Trolling are ridiculous. He's been contributing and responding. Nothing wrong with him finding this site by Googleing Cruisers. That's how I found it.

Nothing wrong with him not having a boat, I didn't either when I first joined.

It's really simple, if you don't like the OP's Question dont read it and don't contribute. There are thousands of other threads.

Just my observation, and my contribution.

[gaysailorbill]

Originally Posted by socaldmax

Yes.



Yes.



Yes. But I want to party with them!



Yes. But I want to party with them!



Yes.



Yes.



We are all perceived as what we project to the world. Want to be a thug? Dress and act like one, and that's how the world perceives you. Want to be a family man? Get married, have children, devote your life to them. Bingo, you're a family man. Want to be some sort of radical revolutionary? Pick your cause, study it, live it, fight for it, and bingo, you're a revolutionary.

Ever wonder why some black people or some Hispanics always have problems with the world, or the other way around? Because that's how they identify themselves, that's how they're perceived, that's how they're treated - as a minority instead of a man.

I knew a guy who did nothing but complain about the plight of the Hispanic man, how he came from a proud heritage, blah blah.

I asked him, "What have you accomplished in your life. YOU, personally?" He couldn't think of anything. He tried to claim 3 kids, sorry, that's not an accomplishment, crack hoes do that every day, pump out kids. I told him the point of the exercise was: you don't get any respect because you haven't done anything to earn that respect as a man. You're always clinging to your "Heritage" like that is supposed to get you respect, but it doesn't, because subconsciously, everyone realizes if you had accomplished anything to be proud of, you wouldn't be waving that Mexican flag like a helicopter trying to take off.

My next door neighbor is black. That's not how I view him, he's a very involved father of 3 girls. If I had to describe him in one sentence, it would be an outstanding father who is always there for them and provides like any hard working father would. His skin color doesn't factor into it, because he never makes an issue of it. We talk about current events, including the racial tensions in many cities, and he's very logical and thoughtful about it. We agree on just about everything because we look at it all logically, objectively. He's also ex-Navy, so we were trained to think logically.

I don't think the answer is more tolerance of different cultures in the US, for example. I think the answer is to assimilate into the new culture. I was born in Japan, and I'm a naturalized citizen of the US. The only flag that flies in font of my house is the US flag, never the Japanese flag. Am I proud of my heritage - yes, but I identify myself as ME, not my heritage. I can fly a foreign flag inside my house if I choose, but out of respect for the flag of my chosen country, the US flag is the only one I will fly publicly.

Is it some huge sacrifice? Does it demean my heritage somehow? Not in my opinion.

Every person whom I've ever met who has met with resistance or had problems with the world at large brought it upon themselves by not blending in with the majority.

If I was in any foreign country, I would not fly the US flag on their soil out of respect for their sovereignty. I think that's only basic courtesy. By doing other wise is provoking the majority in that area, and that's never a good idea, regardless of what you feel your human rights are. There are plenty of countries in this world where they really don't care about your rights. If you push it, you'll die quickly, if you're lucky.


So why push it?

What you do privately is your own business, what you do publicly soon turns into everyone else's business, like it or not, it's just human nature.

When I envision the future where all discrimination and bigotry is gone, it will be because everyone identifies themselves as a person, not any nationality or heritage or culture. That's what will bring us all together, not emphasizing our differences, but our similarities.

That's all a lovely sentiment... "The content of their character" and all that. But it's not the real world. People do discriminate based on religion, skin color, sexual orientation, etc.

I'm not crying about it. I'm just beginning to think this cruising forum is more bigoted than people want to let on. And perhaps it's time for a new cruising community.

[Rustic Charm]

Originally Posted by Varlan

I think we are having a misunderstanding on the definitions of boating issues and cruising issues. The misunderstanding may be mine, if so I will correct it. Thank you for bringing that to my attention.

Your question was quite appropriate for a living aboard thread. Just ignore those that are hung up over it and respond to those responding to your question. That's the better way to go or you will find that the side track about homosexuality will go on and on and on.

[gaysailorbill]

[QUOTE=Canibul;1787946]I'm with Sailorboy on this one. And forget the immedite accusations that I'm homophobic or something. That's rubbish. But lets say two boats sail into the marina at the same time. Are we going to look at one and say "Oh look, Claude, A GAY sailboat in the marina!!"
no. not unless the people on that boat are doing something to tell us what their sexual preference is.

Are you planning to sail around in drag proclaiming how right you are and how much presecution you might get somewhere? Or are you going to sail your boat, and talk about sailing things and buy beer with other sailors and just generally keep your sexual proclivities between you and your significant other. That's what normal people do. How can you reasonably expect to be treated the same way as average people while constantly reminding us that you're not like us?

I mean, I've been essentially living at a transient marina now for most days the past two years. We get fifty, sixty cruisers coming through here a season, many of them come back through. You know, I don't think I have ever once heard a conversation about what a guy and his wife or girlfriend are doing in their boat when they're in their boat.

Why do you feel the need to make YOUR private activities public? Why do I have to know that you're gay? I don't care if you are or not. I'm not. You are. So? Do you want me to have this mental image of you for some reason? Why not just act like a cruiser? You know, drink beer, tell lies, borrow tools?[/QUOTe


Is this really the prevailin. Attitude of cruisers. I'm beginning to be sorry for even trying here. It's a sorry state

[Gadagirl]

Originally Posted by gaysailorbill

That's all a lovely sentiment... "The content of their character" and all that. But it's not the real world. People do discriminate based on religion, skin color, sexual orientation, etc.

I'm not crying about it. I'm just beginning to think this cruising forum is more bigoted than people want to let on. And perhaps it's time for a new cruising community.

Oh please don't go! There are just a few here that think like him. Mostly you received good responses. Psssssst, yes there are some that are bigoted and very narrow minded, but it's so much fun to show them that they can't stop change, in spite of all their fears of it.

[Varlan]

Originally Posted by gaysailorbill

That's all a lovely sentiment... "The content of their character" and all that. But it's not the real world. People do discriminate based on religion, skin color, sexual orientation, etc.

I'm not crying about it. I'm just beginning to think this cruising forum is more bigoted than people want to let on. And perhaps it's time for a new cruising community.

I’m going to disagree with you on your last sentence, nothing is solved by isolating one selves. We have enough division in the world, and history shows that once divided worst things happen after that. I do feel the your pain when others do not understand an issue, I wish I was smart enough and sophisticated enough to crystallize the problem for everyone to understand, that in its self will not happen either. The only thing anyone can do is to bear it, keep calm, and carry on. As frustrating as it may be, the alternative is not recommended on the long run.
Regards

[Rustic Charm]

Originally Posted by gaysailorbill

You sir are an ignoramus. It is not at all what normal people do. And to even introduce the normal word is so prejudiced, so homophobic, so racist, so incredibly Uninformed and unenlightened I really think you and your ilk should withdrawal from the so called progressive cruising community.

Absurd!

Agree entirely Bill. But, the way forward is to ignore the bigots, whether they know they are or not. And in my opinion, it's like 'racism', most people in a progressive society, are 'racist' without understanding why they are 'racist'.

[Rustic Charm]

Originally Posted by Gadagirl

Oh please don't go! There are just a few here that think like him. Mostly you received good responses. Psssssst, yes there are some that are bigoted and very narrow minded, but it's so much fun to show them that they can't stop change, in spite of all their fears of it.

[sailorboy1]

Originally Posted by gaysailorbill

I have you a list of starter questions

I'm still waiting for your list of what issues you are concerned about as a boater, who is gay. I'm trying to understand the boating question (this is a boating forum), not argue about being gay (because I don't care). What boating issues have you faced because of being gay?

BTW - where is your boat located so we understand the boating question. In the area I live there may be a big difference between being at Provincetown MA and some some other location.

[gaysailorbill]

Originally Posted by sneuman

The "but" brigade is out in full force. "I not against gays, but ..."

Maybe we should get the "butt" brigade out in full force. Love to see the look on all the "but" faces

[Bulawayo]

Originally Posted by gaysailorbill

You sir are an ignoramus. It is not at all what normal people do. And to even introduce the normal word is so prejudiced, so homophobic, so racist, so incredibly Uninformed and unenlightened I really think you and your ilk should withdrawal from the so called progressive cruising community.

Absurd!

Jeepers....they have issues? Read what you wrote before accusing others. Why do you deserve special attention? You have your preferences and they have theirs. You are not special and don't try and play the 'woe is me card' - you Abrought up racism - a poor attempt to elicit sympathy. Go to Nigeria or Zimababwe and see what happens to a gay person there - it is immediate jail time. This is a cruisers forum and individual preferences need not be expressed.

[gaysailorbill]

Originally Posted by svHyLyte

What I find unfathomable about homosexual people, and in particular men, is their almost pathological need to declare/broadcast/noterize/impose their particular sexual proclivities to/on the public. How one conducts oneself in the privacy of one's home, yacht or particularl circle of friends is of no business, concern, or interest to uninvolved others, unless it is pushed in their faces, which seems to be a particular practice by homsexual men. Many/most find the imposition very offensive, no less so than they might find having hetrosexual practices such as S&M, Bondage and other equally extraordinary behaviors imposed upon them. Frankly, if you simply keep your proclivities to yourself you might find that people will relate to/treat you as well as they do any other person. We have, on many occassions been in anchorages with other yachts crewed by two or three men, only, or women, only. What their particular private personal relationships were was of no concern or consideration at all and I can't recall a single case where they were ever questioned or even discussed. We have also been in anchorages, particularly in the BVI, where groups of vacationing homosexual men have carried on on-deck, on the beaches and on a few occassions in some of the bars in such a manner as to offend ones sense of common deciency (some of the public bahaviors in Key West is a good example) as a result of which we decamped for other parts. We/Most don't care how you lead your private life, emphises on "private". Absent that, you create the animous you decry.

Now, if you have something useful to contribute to discussions concering sailing/cruising, do so. If, however, you wish to flog your particular lifestyle do so as well--but on forums oriented for your particular lifestyle.

I love that you equate homosexual sex with heterosexual S/M. Here here. Where are all the straigh fetishists? Surely they are relevant too. And while we're at it how about the pedophiles? I guess we're all just the same.

(Intense sarcasm used.)

[gaysailorbill]

Originally Posted by svHyLyte

What I find unfathomable about homosexual people, and in particular men, is their almost pathological need to declare/broadcast/noterize/impose their particular sexual proclivities to/on the public. How one conducts oneself in the privacy of one's home, yacht or particularl circle of friends is of no business, concern, or interest to uninvolved others, unless it is pushed in their faces, which seems to be a particular practice by homsexual men. Many/most find the imposition very offensive, no less so than they might find having hetrosexual practices such as S&M, Bondage and other equally extraordinary behaviors imposed upon them. Frankly, if you simply keep your proclivities to yourself you might find that people will relate to/treat you as well as they do any other person. We have, on many occassions been in anchorages with other yachts crewed by two or three men, only, or women, only. What their particular private personal relationships were was of no concern or consideration at all and I can't recall a single case where they were ever questioned or even discussed. We have also been in anchorages, particularly in the BVI, where groups of vacationing homosexual men have carried on on-deck, on the beaches and on a few occassions in some of the bars in such a manner as to offend ones sense of common deciency (some of the public bahaviors in Key West is a good example) as a result of which we decamped for other parts. We/Most don't care how you lead your private life, emphises on "private". Absent that, you create the animous you decry.

Now, if you have something useful to contribute to discussions concering sailing/cruising, do so. If, however, you wish to flog your particular lifestyle do so as well--but on forums oriented for your particular lifestyle.

However, I applaud the fact that you decamped. I'm quite sure there. Was enough camp on shore and on deck and your own version of camp would most certainly have not added to the party. I'm pretty certain that the homosexual people doing the camping were thrilled that you left.

Now if you just felt the same about the straight couple I watched boinking in the beach the other day.

[gaysailorbill]

Originally Posted by Aussiesuede

1. Would a boat full of Jews wearing Yamaka's on their head be "Throwing their Religion in your Face"?

2. Would a boat full of Christians wearing crosses around their necks be"Throwing their religion in your face"?

3. Would a boat full of gays wearing rainbow bandanas be "Throwing their sexuality in your face"?

4. Would a boat full of women wearing skimpy bikinis be "Throwing their sexuality in your face".

5. Would a boat full of Americans wearing flag shirts be "Throwing their nationality in your face"?

6. Would a boat full of Persians wearing flag shirts be "Throwing their nationality in your face"?



Just when is it acceptable to identify with the minority you're a member of? Or should we instead just never identify our nationality, religion, sexuality, or any other "ality"? As long as folks are consistent in their outrage to these various identifications of their minority associations, then I've no issue with it. But when they pick and choose which to be outraged about and which they are accepting of, well then that's just bigotry in motion. The silly idea that "What's ok to me is the right way for the world to be".

Signed

"Canadian Flag Patch"

I like this person. Of course he/she is Canadian.

[gaysailorbill]

[QUOTE=TanzerTom;1788044]

Originally Posted by Reefmagnet

Well, you know. Like it or lump it gay people are subject to discrimination in society no matter how politically correct everyone pretends to be. Aside from sexuality they are no different from us "straights" ranging all the way from horribly obnoxious and best avoided to fun to be around.

It just strikes me that the OP is simply interested in hearing about attitudes in general to gay people on the cruising scene. I don't think they're self promoting or recruiting batters for their team in any way.[/QUO
Agree with those who could care less what one does and with whom. I would like to point out there is no straight pride movement, no normal rights movement, and no one asking about normal sex life experiences in the cruising community. And guess who will find my comments "offensive" while giving no thought to those who may have found the OP's query offensive!

Actually... I'm recruiting. If any of you straight boys have ever wondered what it's like.... It's good, I can tell you. So if you're 21-75 good lokiijg and fit... Swing in over.... HA!