Gay life: cruising and aboard a ship

[atoll]

Originally Posted by Canibul

Don't most Europeans do that?

they would seem to be overdressed by the millions of european nudists

[gaysailorbill]

Throwing it in Your Face - Take XXII

So I was invited to a cocktail party on a big sailboat the other day where I didn't know anyone. I was sitting with a small group of 8 other, all straight couples. They all welcomed me openly. I did not reveal that I was gay. (I don't actually introduce myself as a gay sailor.... That would be hilarious! Maybe I'll try it sometime. Just kidding)

We were all drinking quite a bit (a shock I know) and one couple (actually the couple I enjoyed the most) was constantly making sexual innuendos and double entendres and little sex jokes. They were hilarious. At one point in the evening they started mocking a little bump and grind when the hostess on the boat joined in and they positioned themselves for a moment in what was clearly meant to signify a three way. They quickly dissolved into peels of laughter, as did the rest of us.

Now, I had great fun. Seriously. I would see them all again in a heartbeat and they would all be welcome on my boat anytime.

And perhaps this group would have been fine with me and two of my mates doing the same thing. Or perhaps some of them would and others wouldn't.

i have to believe that everyone would agree this was 'throwing their sexuality in my face.'

And I have to believe that if they had behaved like this with any of you you would have laughed, possibly joined in, hung out with them again and the PHRASE "THROW IT IN MY FACE" would never have occurred to you.

So then , anyone who thinks when a gay man makes it clearly known he is gay no matter the method means he is throwing it your face simply does not grasp the intense, deep seated, long standing, and overt AND COVERT prejudice, discrimation, and ill treatment you suggest is defendable on the part of heterosexuals.

If you believe in the phrase "live and let live" it doesn't mean "live as I do and let live." It means take in all the good that the world and humanity has to offer and let them and it express it to you however they might.

Oh, and I can come up with literally daily examples of this if you really want to hear it 😱

[NoQuarter79]

It's mind boggling that the gay community still has to face such ridicule and discrimination in 2015. We should have made huge leaps in advancement by now, but the fear of something different is so instilled in modern society, advancement seems impossible.

There are people saying that your sexual preference doesn't matter and is a topic that never comes up, but when you're questioned about your significant other and have to lie to a foreign government about it, that seems like a pretty big issue.

Welcome to CF and the boating community. I think you will find a lot more people on here who are accepting than those who will put you down, and I'm sorry the same can't be said about traveling the world.

Happy Sails!

[rwidman]

Originally Posted by gaysailorbill

Stu,

I havent been able to find any web sites addressing gay life as a sailor or cruiser. I would love to be able to put together a group of links to help gay yachtsmen learn about each other and ask these very types of questions. Could you direct me toward some? I just googled but didnt see any.

Why would "gay life as a cruiser" be any different than life as a cruiser? I mean your partner would be the same sex as you but the wind and the water will still be the same. The operation of the boat will be the same. And if you dress like normal cruisers and don't call attention to your "gayness", destinations will be the same.

You don't see websites for black cruisers, Jewish cruisers, red headed cruisers, tall cruisers, short cruisers or heterosexual cruisers.

[NoQuarter79]

And also I wouldn't think that gay forums are as sailing oriented as say, Cruiser Forum, and I would think this to be the best option to find what he was looking for.

You could also have your ******* on that forum that says "we don't rub our boats in your face, go post it on a sailing forum"

[NoQuarter79]

Knickerbocker Sailing Association - Home


I ran across that site a while ago, and I knew I had it bookmarked.
After a quick google search, there really isn't a lot for the gay sailing community.

[gaysailorbill]

PS - to my new friends I spoke of in the story above, please forgive me for using you to make a point. And PLEASE believe me when I say you weren't throwing anything in my face. And if you were, well I had a terrific time. Toss away!

[witzgall]

It seems that some are saying, You are fine, just don't flaunt it if you are gay." That would be sensible advice when dealing with the public at large in areas where you don't yet know the culture, but I get the feeling some posters are saying don't flaunt it in MY face. Given those standards, will they be upset if I hold my wife's hand in public, or give her a kiss?"

Chris

Originally Posted by scuba0_1

So what issues to gay sailors have that non gay sailors don't have. Do you flaunt that you are gay, how do people know any different that I happen to be straight than you are gay.

Sent from my SM-N910V using Cruisers Sailing Forum mobile app

[Prairie Chicken]

Gay-Schmay...who cares? But don't mention Anchors or Guns...that will get you into trouble...

That about covers my thoughts too.

[gaysailorbill]

Originally Posted by rwidman

Why would "gay life as a cruiser" be any different than life as a cruiser? I mean your partner would be the same sex as you but the wind and the water will still be the same. The operation of the boat will be the same. And if you dress like normal cruisers and don't call attention to your "gayness", destinations will be the same.

You don't see websites for black cruisers, Jewish cruisers, red headed cruisers, tall cruisers, short cruisers or heterosexual cruisers.

I can't. Really? "If you dress like normal cruisers."?
Please go read my former posts.

I'll just point out that this guys comments underscore the need for a gay sailing community that includes people who are truly supportive.

[gaysailorbill]

Originally Posted by NoQuarter79

And also I wouldn't think that gay forums are as sailing oriented as say, Cruiser Forum, and I would think this to be the best option to find what he was looking for.

You could also have your ******* on that forum that says "we don't rub our boats in your face, go post it on a sailing forum"

Well ******** are like opinions... We've all got one. Ha!

But you are exactly right. That's why it would be great to be able to ask sailing oriented questions that include gays issues, some of which are relevant and some of which are not to cruising life, on this forum.

Unfortunately to do so apparently means listening to the bull many people with "opinions" ... ahem... Throw at you.

And before someone responds with "but that's how this site is, people say all sorts of stuff criticizing "hunters and blue water" or whatever, being criticized for how one 'is' is entirely different. Even though many gay people are fond of saying that being gay is not the first thing that defines them, it is an inextricable part of one's self. No more or less a part of our lives as a straigh persons heterosexuality is a part of theirs.

And so to be critical or suggest that expressing that part of one's self, no matter how small or big, is in some way wrong, offensive, or inappropriate, is like me saying... Get ready for this as I do not feel this way... "Straight people and their constant reminding me that they are straight is foul and offends me. I find their constant breeding to produce offspring and their openness about it appealing.. And I won't allow them in my boat or around my friends and I will go out of my to make sure they know I find this part of them disgusting."

So it would be great to have a discussion about gay sailing stuff here, but really do I need to be constantly reminded of how many cruisers (and I'd say the comments are about 70 pro and 30 negative so far) find my life uncomfortable at best and repugnant at worst.

Not to fear fellow cruisers. I'm used to it and willing to fight the good fight for the long haul.

[sneuman]

Originally Posted by gaysailorbill

Throwing it in Your Face - Take XXII

So I was invited to a cocktail party on a big sailboat the other day where I didn't know anyone. I was sitting with a small group of 8 other, all straight couples. They all welcomed me openly. I did not reveal that I was gay. (I don't actually introduce myself as a gay sailor.... That would be hilarious! Maybe I'll try it sometime. Just kidding)

We were all drinking quite a bit (a shock I know) and one couple (actually the couple I enjoyed the most) was constantly making sexual innuendos and double entendres and little sex jokes. They were hilarious. At one point in the evening they started mocking a little bump and grind when the hostess on the boat joined in and they positioned themselves for a moment in what was clearly meant to signify a three way. They quickly dissolved into peels of laughter, as did the rest of us.

Now, I had great fun. Seriously. I would see them all again in a heartbeat and they would all be welcome on my boat anytime.

And perhaps this group would have been fine with me and two of my mates doing the same thing. Or perhaps some of them would and others wouldn't.

i have to believe that everyone would agree this was 'throwing their sexuality in my face.'

And I have to believe that if they had behaved like this with any of you you would have laughed, possibly joined in, hung out with them again and the PHRASE "THROW IT IN MY FACE" would never have occurred to you.

So then , anyone who thinks when a gay man makes it clearly known he is gay no matter the method means he is throwing it your face simply does not grasp the intense, deep seated, long standing, and overt AND COVERT prejudice, discrimation, and ill treatment you suggest is defendable on the part of heterosexuals.

If you believe in the phrase "live and let live" it doesn't mean "live as I do and let live." It means take in all the good that the world and humanity has to offer and let them and it express it to you however they might.

Oh, and I can come up with literally daily examples of this if you really want to hear it 😱

Well said.

[KJB]

Originally Posted by Randyonr3

Straight up from an old salt.. Why is it that When someone is "Gay" it seems they need some type of recognition in approval of who they are..
I've never met a straight person who would ask a question as the OP did..
And Its Bull to expect to be treated any different than any one else..

[gaysailorbill]

Originally Posted by Randyonr3

If this is the case, I would think you would post a question on a travel site for Gays as to what the laws are in a particular country, That or you keep your mouth shut about your sexual preferance to yourself as most people do..
As I pointed out in the first posts I made, why is it you need approval in who you are.. Even your name, gaysailorbill, you very well could have used "SailorBill" but you have to stick your sexual preferance in our faces..

Most all people, be it cruisers or not, dont care who you are being Gay, we care for you as a person,
You'll find you'll be accepted far more as that person if you keep your sexual life to yourself and quit flaunting it..
There is No issue with anyone being Gay, Its the issue that gay people , Like yourself, have this need to feel thay have to share it with everyone else... as approval in who they are..
And as I said, I dont give a damn what you do on your own time..

Just to be clear on the kind of question that is gay cruiser oriented which we could not find anywhere...

"If the fishermen in the grenadines see me and my boyfriend kissing on deck in the morning will it cause a problem?"

"Will the immigration official in Jamaica give me a hard time if he thinks I'm gay, because I am an effeminate man."

"The Doyle guide says to get diesel here XX. But when we approached they saw we were a group of gay men due to the rainbow flag flying and they refused to service us. Do you know somewhere we can refuel that won't refuse us."

"The service i got in a boatyard on XX island found out that I was gay and indicated he would do the work but only if I gave him money in the side to keep him from telling the authorities. Should I be worried."

There are countless others.

I would not be able to find thhe answers to these questions on any gay travel forum... And possibly not in this one. Though I would try. And then I'd have to wade through the bull postings from the chattering hordes and maybe find an answer.

Or God forbid I ever wanted to meet other gay cruisers... Then where would I go? (And trust me there is as much difference of opinion on all issues among gay fold as there is among our straight comrades.)

[goat]

Originally Posted by gaysailorbill

Well ******** are like opinions... We've all got one. Ha!

And everyone elses stinks.

I couldn't swing a dead cat around with out hitting a gay friend or relative. My biggest problem with "the gay" is they like to drink too much and I always try to keep up. Friggin' rainbow hangovers.

Welcome to the community

goat