Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

[weavis]

Originally Posted by Chichi

and Weavis... this girl who you used to care deeply for... did she feel deeply for you too?

She said so. Feelings are different for everyone.

These two comments are not related..

Its easy for a man to care for a woman. Heck we dont expect much. If she turns up for a date she is ahead...

[gamayun]

Originally Posted by Exile

Because CF is not a match.com-type dating website? Or is it??

Winna here! I have heard it has been done so there are always the outlyers, as well as those who look for 'crew with benefits" who might have had some luck because they were being direct, but the fact is our online personas probably do not align with our true selves. The image we might have of someone never seems to represent the other person in the flesh. And I don't mean that in an undressed way. There's just a lot to be said about chemistry and that elixir can't really be created through the Interwebs.

[wolfgal]

Originally Posted by weavis

She said so. Feelings are different for everyone. Its easy for a man to care for a woman. Heck we dont expect much. If she turns up for a date she is ahead...

hmmm... don't expect much? oh my... careful or else someone is going to bring up the fact that so many have a long list when it comes to "the perfect mate" (of course, i just did, sorry about that)

ok, so, let's see. i'm picking up that you are thrilled that you are going to see this old flame; that firstly, you hope she shows up; and that, deep down, your feeling is that this is an opportunity for both of you see if there is something to share...

who was warning you about expectations...? Pelagic, perhaps...

if i may, i suggest that you be conscious of these expectations. be conscious too that she may have something similar going on or NOT (oh no!)... but if she does, ... my fingers are crossed ... i hope the two of you start by figuring out if your 'life-plan' kinda fits.

i write this because i'm finding that, whereas i was easily swayed from my own life-plan when i was young (the proof: i didn't raise my kids on a sailboat), i'm less likely to get completely absorbed into someone else's life-plan now. there comes a time when a little voice says: "no more wrong turns, stay on your path, girl: if he is out there and has the same passion, you'll meet!"

so, if you are set on living on the boat, if it is that important to you, you might want to find out how she wants to live her days, what she wants to do with her life, where and how.

if you can get this on the table before you get gobbled up by chemistry and attraction and the thrill and comfort that comes when two people begin to let the other into the heart...

for me, this aligning of the life-plan is more important than the financial aspects of couple-hood, because, at our age, the life-plan involves how we already live and usually reflects our financial capacities.

the other things i'd suggest, as step two, is that you study the five languages of love and identify your own. ask her to identify hers... then talk about it, give examples, and then, then, then, IF you get this far, ONCE AGAIN, try not to have too many expectations...

[weavis]

Originally Posted by Chichi

hmmm... don't expect much? oh my... careful or else someone is going to bring up the fact that so many have a long list when it comes to "the perfect mate" (of course, i just did, sorry about that)

ok, so, let's see. i'm picking up that you are thrilled that you are going to see this old flame; that firstly, you hope she shows up; and that, deep down, your feeling is that this is an opportunity for both of you see if there is something to share...

I have to smile. The above are your assumptions. I expect and want nothing simply because she has an affinity to a lifestyle that I have no interest in joining. Its a good lifestyle involving her church and stuff but not for me.

I have never ever revisited a failed relationship. This one is going to happen because, firstly, I like her and secondly, she would like some closure with the distance of passed time. She has made her choice of life and I would never dream of rocking the boat. Even if she told me she wanted me, for the above reasons and others, Our time dun come and went.

You women are such romantics...

addition: I have the boat. I have my life sorted, and mostly.... mostly, Im not looking.

I rewrote my post because it probably looked connected.

She said so. Feelings are different for everyone.

These two comments are not related..

Its easy for a man to care for a woman. Heck we dont expect much. If she turns up for a date she is ahead...

[wolfgal]

Originally Posted by weavis

I have to smile. The above are your assumptions. I expect and want nothing simply because she has an affinity to a lifestyle that I have no interest in joining. Its a good lifestyle involving her church and stuff but not for me.

I have never ever revisited a failed relationship. This one is going to happen because, firstly, I like her and secondly, she would like some closure with the distance of passed time. She has made her choice of life and I would never dream of rocking the boat. Even if she told me she wanted me, for the above reasons and others, Our time dun come and went.

You women are such romantics...

addition: I have the boat. I have my life sorted, and mostly.... mostly, Im not looking.

I rewrote my post because it probably looked connected.

She said so. Feelings are different for everyone.

These two comments are not related..

Its easy for a man to care for a woman. Heck we dont expect much. If she turns up for a date she is ahead...

i understand, yes, the two life-plans do not align...

Romantic assumptions, yes admittedly... thanks for the kind smile. kindness is that thin stretch of air on the surface of the ocean: it can go a long way

[masou]

just love yourself , and if you do a good enough job at that, someone else might just get jealous .....
i got my boat in place of my tarp in the park , i was homeless from age 15 to 20 , almost 21 now , very much at home

[boatman61]

Leave home early.. get wise fast..
No sense of entitlement to screw with one's head.

[CaptJamesCook]

kinda reminds me of phone sex not much chance of a connection..?

[Olddan1943]

One nice thing about a boat is, if a shore side romance turns sour, it's easier to move the boat than to sell the house.

[Exile]

Originally Posted by gamayun

Winna here! I have heard it has been done so there are always the outlyers, as well as those who look for 'crew with benefits" who might have had some luck because they were being direct, but the fact is our online personas probably do not align with our true selves. The image we might have of someone never seems to represent the other person in the flesh. And I don't mean that in an undressed way. There's just a lot to be said about chemistry and that elixir can't really be created through the Interwebs.

All very true, at least one would think . . . . But I've heard some rather stunning statistics about the number of successful hookups from online dating sites, i.e. in the neighborhood of 70%! Of course those stats could be put out there by the dating websites themselves . . . and then I wonder how they define "success."

[dwedeking2]

Originally Posted by Exile

All very true, at least one would think . . . . But I've heard some rather stunning statistics about the number of successful hookups from online dating sites, i.e. in the neighborhood of 70%! Of course those stats could be put out there by the dating websites themselves . . . and then I wonder how they define "success."

I met my ex-wife online (yahoo chat rooms) and we were married for 15 years. Obviously it ended in divorce, but after 15 years I don't think the reason was due to meeting online. (probably was cause I don't have a pure white santa beard).

[Exile]

Originally Posted by Chichi

yes, exile, when we all get together and hang out in the cockpit, you can bring Rocky-THE-Dog. No problem there. And, my feeling is that as long as you leave the voice of your screaming ex in the past, we will have a blast.

That's a nice thought Chichi, except that Rocky's a charmer and always steals the show. I'm just the guy who provides his transportation services to & from his next party. But you're right, now that we've both left behind the screaming ex & re-emerged from underneath the coffee table, life has resumed being a blast.

[john61ct]

The vast majority of current committed relationships met online, and divorce stats are a bit lower than for those who met IRL.

[bill352]

Originally Posted by gamayun

That statistic infers that the single ladies here should have their pick of men to choose from. If that's the case, why is it that we are all still single? Is it us or is it the choice of single men here

It may be that, as I'm told the women say in similar circumstances elsewhere:

"The odds are good, but the goods are odd."

[zeehag]

Quote:
Originally Posted by gamayun View Post
That statistic infers that the single ladies here should have their pick of men to choose from. If that's the case, why is it that we are all still single? Is it us or is it the choice of single men here
It may be that, as I'm told the women say in similar circumstances elsewhere:

"The odds are good, but the goods are odd."

pretty much sums it up.
we all have our pick of obnoxious narcissists or complete idiots. rarely between is there an unspokenfor soul.
and half of those are not worthy of consideration.
some of those who actually think have found that individuality is a special kind of privilege and worthy of keeping.
lonely is a state of mind and alone is a state of being.
only from within yourself are you capable of making your loneliness dissipate.
i prefer not to hang around lonely souls, as they are negative in their thinking.
life is too short for that.