Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

[foggysail]

Originally Posted by Pelagic

Reminds me of a joke...
Two guys, Jim and Fred, walking along the street see a dog licking its balls.

Jim says. ...Wish I could do that.....
pet him first
Fred suggests.... Maybe if you ask nice, he'll let you...

I rolled in the snow laughing when first told that joke some time ago!!!

Yeah.......pet it first

[Olddan1943]

The entire post was meant as a joke and I said so at the beginning of the post too.
CHUCKLE If you think I was serious, that is your problem. LOL
Calm down.

[daletournier]

Originally Posted by Exile

Very true, but unfixable by one party alone. You could set her up with her own account, give her a credit card, or otherwise equalize the imbalance as much as is practicable, but if she feels less powerful over it then it's her deal.

My partner has got on and off the boat over the years, we work our relationship in a not so normal way. Getting off again now for four to five mths.

This time around (8mth stint) I dd $200 in to her account automatically each week. I pay for all our boat living expenses.

The $200 gives her freedom to purchase stuff without needing to ask me ie. Shampoo, girl stuff etc. Also it buys hers air tickets home if/when she chooses to go. There's a psychological element, doesn't feel trapped due to no money.

Once home she gets a job, I don't support her life off the boat, financially not viable and I don't want to.

Fortunately she is quite frugal so it's all doable.

I retired young, not many of my friends, girls or guys have the financial means to live my lifestyle, thus if I want company for more than a couple of weeks I generally have to pay, and I I accept this.
As Exile has pointed out the problem occurs when it's not appreciated, its expected or taken for granted.

The problem comes when people just assume your rich and take advantage of it. I'm not, I'm time rich but need to watch my dollars like others do or they'll run away.

[daletournier]

Hi Ann, I seem to disagree with you abit in this thread, I'm not just being argumentative, I just see the world abit different.

I disagree that women get paided less than men in our modern world. There maybe some instances this is true but mostly not. When it's just said in a matter of fact way it's suddenly true.

In the everyday world, school teachers, nurses, doctors, cops, business owners etc get paided the same. Did Julia Gillard get paided less than Kevin's Rudd? Did Hillary Clinton get paided less than her predecessor?

I just don't buy that argument, yes someone will bring out some statistics somewhere that says I'm wrong, but by and large I have not seen this equality.

It may have some relevance in other countries, I don't know, but to me it's another victim war cry. It's an argument that suits a cause.

Also another poster said something along the lines of" if you go into a relationship protecting yourself, it's doomed ". I say one is naive to go into a modern day relationship and not financially protect yourself.

Fairytale, hope and faith are lovely but one only needs to look around and see how many men have been financially devastated by divorce.

I think it's different if you both come into the relationship early in life with not much, but later in life, no kids etc it's foolish to not be realistic of the potential losses one can occur due to a greedy ex partner. This is especially true if one party brings alot to the table and the other doesn't.

We aren't children anymore, life is real.

[Nicor]

Originally Posted by daletournier

Hi Ann, I seem to disagree with you abit in this thread, I'm not just being argumentative, I just see the world abit different.

I disagree that women get paided less than men in our modern world. There maybe some instances this is true but mostly not. When it's just said in a matter of fact way it's suddenly true.

From Forbes 2014, only 3 years ago.
"The gender pay gap is hopelessly static right now. For the last decade, median earnings for women working full time, year-round have been just 77% of men’s earnings. This oft-cited percentage stems from U.S. Census Bureau data and is not, despite critiques, something made up by feminists to (heaven forbid) give women raises."

There was another article out last week about the same thing.

[Exile]

Originally Posted by Nicor

From Forbes 2014, only 3 years ago.
"The gender pay gap is hopelessly static right now. For the last decade, median earnings for women working full time, year-round have been just 77% of men’s earnings. This oft-cited percentage stems from U.S. Census Bureau data and is not, despite critiques, something made up by feminists to (heaven forbid) give women raises."

There was another article out last week about the same thing.

Yes, but these recent articles and the data they rely on don't necessarily support the conclusion that any such pay gap is on account of gender discrimination. There are other factors that are in play, most notably that many more women than men opt to forego years of career advancement & earnings in order to raise children. This otherwise indispensable contribution to society often results in negative financial consequences as compared to men.

[Exile]

Originally Posted by daletournier

My partner has got on and off the boat over the years, we work our relationship in a not so normal way. Getting off again now for four to five mths.

This time around (8mth stint) I dd $200 in to her account automatically each week. I pay for all our boat living expenses.

The $200 gives her freedom to purchase stuff without needing to ask me ie. Shampoo, girl stuff etc. Also it buys hers air tickets home if/when she chooses to go. There's a psychological element, doesn't feel trapped due to no money.

Once home she gets a job, I don't support her life off the boat, financially not viable and I don't want to.

Fortunately she is quite frugal so it's all doable.

I retired young, not many of my friends, girls or guys have the financial means to live my lifestyle, thus if I want company for more than a couple of weeks I generally have to pay, and I I accept this.
As Exile has pointed out the problem occurs when it's not appreciated, its expected or taken for granted.

The problem comes when people just assume your rich and take advantage of it. I'm not, I'm time rich but need to watch my dollars like others do or they'll run away.

Your financial arrangements with your partner certainly sound reasonable, and like you I would not want to burden a partner with having to ask me for money to meet basic needs. I would only add that it sounds reasonable based on the practicalities of your respective financial realities, and not on account of your respective genders.

[john61ct]

You can share a life for a while, maybe a short while maybe long if that's to be, no need to get married, keep your finances independent.

What are you trying to get tax deductions or something?

[Exile]

Originally Posted by john61ct

You can share a life for a while, maybe a short while maybe long if that's to be, no need to get married, keep your finances independent.

What are you trying to get tax deductions or something?

Ever heard of the marriage penalty? Not necessarily advantageous tax-wise to file & pay taxes as a married couple.

Marriage remains an important if not sacred institution for many, many people, whether it be based on religion, tradition, or the desire to have kids and raise a family. That in itself is worthy of respect.

At the same time the more or less unwavering 50% divorce rate since WW2 is troubling, although it's primary causes may have less to do with the institution of marriage and more to do with larger societal forces & changing attitudes.

[john61ct]

Originally Posted by Exile

Marriage remains an important if not sacred institution for many, many people, whether it be based on religion, tradition, or the desire to have kids and raise a family. That in itself is worthy of respect.

Involuntary circumcision of little girls and honor killings are "important if not sacred institutions for many, many people", does that mean everyone should respect them?

Sure if you choose to, want to set high expectations, go ahead. I think the only valid reasons to involve church and the law in our relationships are religious and legal/financial ones, not just outmoded traditions or social expectations.

But that's just me.

[double u]

"...someone will bring out some statistics somewhere......but.... I have not seen this..."

this is the big trouble with us all: individual perception is far more powerful than statistics for each of us - but it's still only anecdotal evidence, wheras statistics try to look at the "wide picture" as wide as possible

[daletournier]

Originally Posted by john61ct

You can share a life for a while, maybe a short while maybe long if that's to be, no need to get married, keep your finances independent.

What are you trying to get tax deductions or something?

Hi John, is this addressed to me? Tax deductions? sorry don't get it.

[john61ct]

Originally Posted by daletournier

Hi John, is this addressed to me? Tax deductions? sorry don't get it.

No, I was just expressing my puzzlement why people seemed to be treating getting married as the default mode for having a sailing / living partner.

Especially since so many were talking up the resulting financial hazards.

[daletournier]

Originally Posted by double u

"...someone will bring out some statistics somewhere......but.... I have not seen this..."

this is the big trouble with us all: individual perception is far more powerful than statistics for each of us - but it's still only anecdotal evidence, wheras statistics try to look at the "wide picture" as wide as possible

Nah mate, I don't buy it. Let's look at the professions around us like I mentioned earlier. Let's be specific with these stats and measure professions, everything being equal, hours worked, and qualifications etc.

Do doctors pays vary based on gender? do solicitors pays vary based on gender? If we compare apples with apples etc etc.

I've employed many women over the years, the minimal wage was the same male or female.

In a modern society like Australia you believe employers can discriminate against women by paying them less.... and get away with it.

Do you personally know one woman with equal skills, qualifications and work ethic that gets paided less due to her gender than her male colleague? If so prove gender is the reason? I don't know any.

Prejudice is such an easy card to play.

[daletournier]

The average household income in Australia is $106,000......go door knocking and see how many households have that coming in, could just be "my perception" but I think you will find the average household doesn't have that amount or even close to that coming in.... Statistics will suggest I'm wrong.