Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

[gamayun]

My son has always said there needs to be a "snarc" emoji. I've yet to find a good one, but the winking eye with tongue hanging out is the one I use on my phone. Sarcasm and humor just don't translate well through the written word, much less for every culture....Gad Elmaleh is figuring this out right now.

[daletournier]

Originally Posted by gamayun

I'm rooting for you Dale! You can do it. It's probably not more difficult than losing weight, but everyone knows how that resolution turns out

Thanks for the support. Fortunately I'm blessed that there are several members here that are actually "Buddhas" in disguise, their sole purpose is to help me with my lessons "tolerance & patience". I'm just a lucky guy to have such wonderful people in my life...... and an ignore button [emoji2]

[Olddan1943]

Dale, if you become all "sugar and spice and everything nice", you might lose your charm and no one will recognize you. Please dont get carried away with the cure.

[daletournier]

Originally Posted by Olddan1943

Dale, if you become all "sugar and spice and everything nice", you might lose your charm and no one will recognize you. Please dont get carried away with the cure.

Lol.... I'll pass this little bit of wisdom on to my girlfriend, see what she thinks.

[Olddan1943]

Originally Posted by daletournier

Lol.... I'll pass this little bit of wisdom on to my girlfriend, see what she thinks.

Keep us inform of the results. We want to know which hospital she puts you in so we can all send flowers to you.

[sailorboy1]

In the 9 years I've owned and sailed I've only come across 1, that's 1, solo female sailor. She was married and her husband joined her once in a while. Meanwhile I've met lots of solo males and lots and lots couples on boats. The solo males have in general not been what I would think any sane single female would consider a catch, and the sailing couples have all been pretty happy.

Makes me wonder if it isn't really a case of women not liking boats as much as it is that they don't like boats enough to do it alone and they aren't going to find others to hang with. But a single male is Ok with being alone and will say he prefers that, and if not there are lots of other single guys around to hang with.

Regards of the reasons it is pretty much a given that if you start your cruise single, you will stay that way.

[boatman61]

Guess it all depends on the individual..
I meet a lot of guys who are 'solo' and they walk around with a big neon flashing sign on their foreheads blinking "I Am Desperate"
Often crude and clumsy, loudly declare rejections as "She's a Lesbian" and in general displaying why they are solo sailors..
In a marina on a recent delivery an owner with ambitions of sailing the world loudly declared the 20's daughter on the boat alongside was "Eminently F#*Ȼble" as she boarded their boat.. obviously he will have the lady's lining up at the gangway with lolling tongues..
There's a saying in the Med about ex-pat tradesmen operating in marina's and boatyards.. they're only there because they were not good enough to cut it back home.
Now this is of course a generalisation.. there's a few great ex-pat tradesmen out there.. but they are far outweighed by the cowboys who operate a couple of seasons somewhere then move on to new pastures before the complaints/comebacks become a problem.. sailmakers, glassworkers et al..
So if a guy can't pull a lady back home.. unlikely he'll find one in another country.. unless its Uganda/SE Asia and he's waving a Green Card.. or an alcoholic.. there's a few of those in ports all over the world.

[zeehag]

Originally Posted by sailorboy1

In the 9 years I've owned and sailed I've only come across 1, that's 1, solo female sailor. She was married and her husband joined her once in a while. Meanwhile I've met lots of solo males and lots and lots couples on boats. The solo males have in general not been what I would think any sane single female would consider a catch, and the sailing couples have all been pretty happy.

Makes me wonder if it isn't really a case of women not liking boats as much as it is that they don't like boats enough to do it alone and they aren't going to find others to hang with. But a single male is Ok with being alone and will say he prefers that, and if not there are lots of other single guys around to hang with.

Regards of the reasons it is pretty much a given that if you start your cruise single, you will stay that way.

you must be cruising wrong territories as there are more soltera sailing females here than wherever you are cruising.
gotta laugh tho, as most donot think of dating sailing males. y'all are doing something wrong.
be more like bubba. sweet, honest, and loyal.
quit being the rabid horndogs more than half of you present as being.

[wolfgal]

This thread... I was done with it nearly fifty pages ago. I jumped in all enthusiastic and bright-eyed, full of hope for everyone to find a partner to share the journey...

yet, something happened while reading the different posts and looking into what being with a partner entails: i realized that i had to go it alone. i came to the conclusion that no man would ever really respect me unless i was the captain of my own boat.

many of you were here for that very personal revelation and perhaps remember... Did i change my mind?

Over the last couple of months i've come to the conclusion that so many of you guys are wonderful, absolutely wonderful people... but....


Well, today i was looking at sailing videos and came across the one i've posted here. the girl is enchanting and would perhaps be very, very welcomed by so many of you guys on your boats. Her attitude is fantastic; she is great. BUT (watch the video twice if need be) what i want for you to focus on is how her guy treats her, from start to finish.

this guy does it right.

please take a look:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCVUNPoQOis

Wishing everyone here a very, very Happy New Year!

[daletournier]

Originally Posted by Chichi

This thread... I was done with it nearly fifty pages ago. I jumped in all enthusiastic and bright-eyed, full of hope for everyone to find a partner to share the journey...

yet, something happened while reading the different posts and looking into what being with a partner entails: i realized that i had to go it alone. i came to the conclusion that no man would ever really respect me unless i was the captain of my own boat.

many of you were here for that very personal revelation and perhaps remember... Did i change my mind?

Over the last couple of months i've come to the conclusion that so many of you guys are wonderful, absolutely wonderful people... but....


Well, today i was looking at sailing videos and came across the one i've posted here. the girl is enchanting and would perhaps be very, very welcomed by so many of you guys on your boats. Her attitude is fantastic; she is great. BUT (watch the video twice if need be) what i want for you to focus on is how her guy treats her, from start to finish.

this guy does it right.

please take a look:

Wishing everyone here a very, very Happy New Year!

Yep seems like a nice guy and she did a good job.

[Stu Jackson]

Originally Posted by daletournier

Lol... Thats also one of my resolutions, failed yesterday.. Lol... but it's not the new year yet so I'm cutting myself some slack.

I figure cruisers forum is a good place to practice.. Lol.

Ahh, but now that you've explained how using the traveler is so much fun, you've got a good head start!

Happy New Year to all!!!

[Exile]

Originally Posted by Chichi

This thread... I was done with it nearly fifty pages ago. I jumped in all enthusiastic and bright-eyed, full of hope for everyone to find a partner to share the journey...

yet, something happened while reading the different posts and looking into what being with a partner entails: i realized that i had to go it alone. i came to the conclusion that no man would ever really respect me unless i was the captain of my own boat.

many of you were here for that very personal revelation and perhaps remember... Did i change my mind?

Over the last couple of months i've come to the conclusion that so many of you guys are wonderful, absolutely wonderful people... but....

Well, today i was looking at sailing videos and came across the one i've posted here. the girl is enchanting and would perhaps be very, very welcomed by so many of you guys on your boats. Her attitude is fantastic; she is great. BUT (watch the video twice if need be) what i want for you to focus on is how her guy treats her, from start to finish.

this guy does it right.

please take a look:

Wishing everyone here a very, very Happy New Year!

You may have decided you need to go it alone, but I disagree that it should be on account of no man respecting you unless you had your own boat. It's no different from any other crew member, in that the respect & camaraderie follows from a healthy attitude, willingness to learn, eagerness to contribute, and patience/endurance with it comes to the inevitable challenges that are sometimes not too pleasant. The young couple in the vid seem like good examples. Of course, there are some male boat owners who inexplicably turn into 'Cap'n Blighs' once underway, but I've run across at least one female boat owner who was like that too. Maybe it's more prevalent with men, but then there are a lot more male boat owners/captains. Either way, being an a*** is definitely gender-neutral!

I've had lots of different male & female crew, and even some of my close guy friends turned out to be pretty insufferable once onboard. Little to do with sailing skill/experience, and everything to do with personality & attitude. Not really sure gender plays that much of a role, or if the relationship is intimate, platonic, or otherwise. It may not necessarily be our fault if we wind up with someone who turns out to be intolerable or disappointing, but it's definitely our responsibility to choose wisely. Even more so on the confines of a boat of course. I'd hazard a guess that most full-time sailing couples - ones who do long passages anyway - share responsibilities equally and that each one is fully capable of operating the boat independently of the other, regardless of which one may actually own the boat.

You may also find inspiring a woman sailor/vlogger who has refurbished & sails her own boat, and calls herself 'White Spot Pirates' on youTube. I know I do.

[zeehag]

happy new year

[wolfgal]

Originally Posted by daletournier

Yep seems like a nice guy and she did a good job.

Yes, i like the way he gives her space to think it through and yet quietly and constructively nudges her when she needs a bit of help.

she is as cute as they come, yes, but, at the end of the video, she really and truly shines from within. this is because she accomplished so much on her own, yet did you notice how she lights up when he gives her positive feedback?

there is a lot to be said about positive feedback...

it is already 2018 for you Dale! May it be a happy year and new!

[Olddan1943]

Originally Posted by Stu Jackson

Ahh, but now that you've explained how using the traveler is so much fun, you've got a good head start!

Happy New Year to all!!!

May we all have a happy, healthy and prosperous 2018.