What Is the Dating Scene Like on the Water ?

[ConradG]

Why does a boat need to be a threat? Is it any more of a threat than other interests that a partner, male or female might have? I understand that interests that are not common can be seen as a threat but I don't believe they need to be. My ex wife rode horses. I can't see it for the life of me now (although as a kid I always thought it would be great to have a relationship like that with an animal). I never looked at it as a threat. It was part of what made her who she was. But also, I flew little airplanes. It was a challenge and exhillerating. She did see it as a threat. But I guess perhaps that should have been seen as a sign that it was 'on the rocks'...an excuse. If someone sees something as a threat, beware! My girlfriend did see the boat as a threat. She has come to a different place and realizes that that threat was about her insecurities. She now accepts it as part of what makes me who I am and she wants me to be who I am. If she didn't then it would be better for her and for me if we were apart. Beware when someone sees something as a threat but look to see what it is that is really threatening.

[Hiracer]

Conrad,

I'm sorry I was not more specific because I see I should have been.

When there are children are involved, I disagree with the perspective of "Let's split up because I have to do what's right and true for me."

The unspoken subtext I'm hearing is, "Let's ignore the needs of the kids."

That's all.

Having had to deal with exactly that sentiment recently, it's a raw nerve for me, which is why it's perhaps best that I bow out at this point.

[ConradG]

Hiracer, I agree. The kids are the most important thing we could ever have. I agree that their best interest is what it is about foremost. However, and subject to way too much debate, from my own experience where I did not see the forest through the trees in part because of the kids, I can see that there would be a very good argument for having divorced many years ago. For the kids. In my case, my kids were in college when I did. I think that they would have been better off had they had two happy and healthy parrents for the latter part of their childhood.

By the way, when my girlfriend decided to split because of her fears it was hard on her kids. But also it has shown them that we learn from our mistakes. That she ended up seing that she was doing exactly what she didn't want to happen, that she quit because she was scared of being fired and that those fears were hers and hers alone, has allowed a whole different level to develope between her and I and her and her kids (11 and 16). But I tell you, as much as I sat there understanding that if she needed and wanted different than me than it was 'best', it was hardest because of the kids! Had she not come to the place she did, it would have been best for her and me and the kids because I am who I am and if I pretend to be someone else it won't work for sure. Better off moving on. For everyone....potentially..perhaps.

[off-the-grid]

Originally Posted by anjou

I think you will find the majority of people doing these things are happy couples or single men
Single women seem to be the Holy Grail, just as rare and just as sought after.
Just to add salt to the wound, your unlikely to find them in your local sailing club or marina but here on the net, hapfway round the other side of the world, which makes making contact so hard.

Ain't that the truth! They sure aren't in NJ or NY. The closest one (by far) I've found who REALLY seems to potentially be interested in the idea of cruising lives 4 hours away.

[ConradG]

Hey! Four hours is better than eight and a half! I drive to her and she flys to me.. I guess it is good practice incase I have to leave on the boat before her kids are grown and she can come along...

[anjou]

My sisters ex husband remarried at the end of November last year. Sis just called to tell me his new wife has filed for divorce.

He just cant stop screwing around. Sis left him after he got caught screwing his bosses wife.

I guess hes got Tiger Woods syndrome.

[Ram]

Originally Posted by Hiracer

Been doing all that.

I gotta take yoga. Been learning partner dancing but after that it's gotta be yoga. Really like the dance, however. Meet some interesting women, but no sailors, of course--at least not yet.

For sure, I remain true to myself these days.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tD-FbHpccmU

I owned the first Yoga & Wellness center in West Palm Beach for many years,some years ago and even today the ratios of man and woman are about 80% woman/ 20% men so its a great place for men to meet nice woman , Im still involved try it you might like it, even if you dont meet the woman of your dreams your gonna get healthy!

[ConradG]

Well you know those men with hobbies like golf or sailing....No good rascals!
Although I can see how screwing the boss's wife could be considered threatening to a relationship...especially the work relationship!

[off-the-grid]

Originally Posted by ConradG

Hey! Four hours is better than eight and a half! I drive to her and she flys to me.. I guess it is good practice incase I have to leave on the boat before her kids are grown and she can come along...

Yeah, except my contract is up in 2 months, and I'm moving about an hour further South, probably on the hook. And possibly dumping the car...then to Florida come October. Although I guess Florida does mean much greater potential for meeting sailing, scuba diving women in real life. Actually already posted in the Florida group on scuba board. "Who wants free diving!"

[ConradG]

Well, Grunzster, at least you have your plans and are moving along your chosen path! Let the rest come as it may. It will.

But if Grouchy Turtle is the name of your boat, be sure to dock nose in if you want to make meaningful contacts with women.....

[off-the-grid]

Nonsense! Everyone loves the name

[Mule]

Originally Posted by anjou

He just cant stop screwing around. Sis left him after he got caught screwing his bosses wife.

Do you think Sis might have acted hastily? Was it in the job description and if so was he getting paid overtime?
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My only regret, now that I am separated for the second time in 12 months is that I did not pull the trigger on all the very interesting and tempting adultry opportunities I had over those years. Yep, 38 years and she put me out by the curb. The thought has crossed my mind that perhaps fidelity is way overrated. I wondsr what ever happened to Harriet..she was...well never mind.

Anyway I am living aboard with my dog and I am ready for Florida to arrive, will be 38 tonight. I have the electric blanket on Hi UNDER a quilt on top of my new black sheets.. To morn the loss of my sex no life, it is offical now. Gonna be cold with just me and the poodle.

I am getting ready for the islands, gonna take all the necessary aux coast guard courses and hope to find a first mate for a month or two trip. We will see, whatever happens happens. Try to force it and it will backfire.
the best jobs and women just happen, if you are lookng you will find neither it seems.

[hummingway]

Now Mule. remember fidelty is it's own reward ... or maybe that was drinking beer is its own reward ... something anyway.
Best of luck on the journey and fair winds.

[Mule]

Hell, I quit drinking a year ago. Oh yeah, I am sure the saw cuts both ways, you can substitute the term men where I put women after jobs earlier. Not really a sexist remark, as I said the saw cuts both ways.

Just to be clear.

[S/V Antares]

A single friend asked me (and my wfe) if there were "Babe's" on the beaches in the Bahamas. l replied the there were plenty though most were over 50 .... but looked pretty dam good!