Becoming Invisible

[arcticmonkey]

children of the 60s... never thought about invisible.. lots of others things though... scorned for a concrete boat (joking) viewed as hippie (long hair didn't cover up red neck.. thanks jerry jess walker) and a little crazy for the wistful look of the ocean... ah well we survived

[boatman61]

Originally Posted by jimisbell

about 30 years ago at the age of 55 I was learning to wind surf. I was doing quite well and was in the middle of the lake skimming along in my bright blue speedo (really I had a good body back then) and a runnabout with two young couples in it came by, One of the young ladies said, "Oh look at that cute OLD guy on the wind surfer." Everything started to sag after that day.

It was the Speedo's that blew it for you.. they went out of fashion in the 80's when Aussies started calling them 'Budgie Smugglers'..

[achil]

Originally Posted by JPA Cate

My knees got really bad, and so, we arranged for a wheel chair at the airport when we were flying back to the States for my bilateral total knee replacements, the first time. I wanted the surgeries so that I could continue my lifestyle. When I was being pushed in the chair, NO ONE made eye contact! It really was as if I didn't exist. It was creepy. ...And, I bet it happens a lot to people in wheel chairs. It made me start looking at them and smiling at them. It can be pretty lonely there.

As I have aged since that time, I find, ashore, I am sometimes invisible, but I am lucky in that amongst other sailors, it doesn't happen, probably because those are mostly social situations, rather than everyone having something else on their mind.Ann

I think in the wheelchair issue it probably is as others have pointed out that many people are brought up not to stare at people that are different in any way.

I was born and raised on the West coast of Ireland and when I was young everyone talked to everyone else. People would even come to your house to bs. I remember neighbors coming to the house at 1 am saying they saw the lights on and thought I may have the teapot on. Then I moved to London and like any big city everyone is in a big hurry and less likely to pass the time of day with you. However in local pubs and dance halls people were friendly as we all had something in common. The same in the US when I moved here in the late '60's. Then the '70's came with the hippie movement and the flower children. Those people couldn't be more friendly.

Things changed after that. I'm not sure if the world changed or if it was our perception that changed. People started to train their children not to speak with strangers and to never go anywhere with a stranger. That was probably necessary then and most definitely is today. The problem is that when children grow up, what they were taught stays with them. So, it is not that you are invisible, it is just the way people are.

I sail small sailboats on lakes so I am on land. I am also somewhat of an introvert. To try to overcome this I made a decision years ago to initiate conversation by saying hello to everyone I meet while out walking our dog. The vast majority of people say hello back, and many stop to have few words, sometimes about our dog, sometimes about the weather, etc.

Many years ago I was back in Ireland on vacation and we were out to eat at a restaurant by the bay. I was with my Mother and stepfather and a girl that was seated at a table across from us with her husband, came over to talk with us. It turns out she originally lived across from us down a couple of doors, her parents were dead and she was home to put her parents home on the market. During our conversation she mentioned that she used to watch me walking down the street all dressed up in my suit and looking straight ahead(going to the dance). She had a crush on me but thought I so so stuck up that she never initiated a conversation. The thing is, I felt exactly the same about her and I had a crush on her as well. I was also scared of her dad as he was one of the town cops. Schools in Ireland were segregated then, boys only and girls only. It just goes to show the opportunities lost because we did not initiate a conversation by a simple hello.

[jimisbell]

Hatteras53 is very right. I have several friends that are Asian and young. They respect their elders and listen to them. When I am around them I do not feel invisible. Its a culture thing.

[DockDoc]

Decided I had to know what Budgie Smugglers were... I can not unsee those images

[hatteras53]

Originally Posted by svfinlandia

Having lived in the USA almost all of my life but having spent a little time in the Philippines, I know exactly what you are saying and completely agree.
I am 72 years old and started noticing the invisibility thing around 65. It has gotten worse as I look older.
But since you own a Nauticat I would definitely notice you!

Al, S/V Finlandia - 1983 36' Nauticar

Thanks for the kind reply shipmate Finlandia !


Honestly, I always showed respect for older people/looked up to them/sought their advise/enjoyed their company.


I am REALLY speechless over most of the younger folks today.


Many of them send me a message loud and clear.....we don't care about you/go away/get out of my way cause I'm coming threw.


At least in the Philippines almost everyone will ACKNOWLEDGE you in some meaningful way.


With many here there is no RESPECT for self/others/God.



This is not the great country it once was.


Although at times I am effected by the message these folks send to me, it is okay.


When we are out on our Nauticat again, we can leave them in our wake.



I hope that our Nauticat will finally be ready soon !


Maybe we can see you out on the water someday ?


Shipmate Michael

[houseofcharm]

I had a rare event a couple years ago. I have a black mesh motorcycle jacket with concealed pads all over and didn't realize it gave me a 'ripped' look until I wore it one a coll Florida PM to an oceanfront bar. My slim build normally doesn't get 2 3rd look but this day I must had ir going on as almost every female in the place swiveled and gave that 'look'-something I haven't noticed in 15 years since hitting 60 recently. Even my 2 pals noticed the effect.



I thought it explained the cosmetic surgery craze but I think it goes to show basic human response.



So the moral is, buy a bike jacket with jeans and see what happens!

[hpeer]

I don’t know, I’m generally a pretty quite guy, but am assertive in interaction. I’m 68 and feel MORE visible. But I think that has more to do with my attitude and appearance. I don’t look like I fit in anywhere because I don’t.

68, monk ring, pony tail, bushy beard, blue eyes, reasonably fit. I think I still hold my body well, not all slumpy. I know I just have a bit of attitude. Always been that way. I’m not real aware of it, but I know it in the back of my head.

Has Ian shirts and a bright yellow boat don’t hurt either. Hawian shirts with suspenders even! Now THATS special! LOL

It mostly I’m a quiet and retiring person. I usually keep to myself, my Wife is even more of a hermit. Not shy and gets along with people, and people like her, she just avoids most interactions.

If folks are becoming indifferent to me, I’m not noticing.

[jimisbell]

I dont think that attitude has much to do with it. I am a very Alpha personality. Always open and gregarious. But at 82 they ignore me.

[jimisbell]

Originally Posted by DockDoc

Decided I had to know what Budgie Smugglers were... I can not unsee those images

I am so curious, But your comment that its hard to UNSEE will keep me from looking!!!

[jimisbell]

"black mesh motorcycle jacket"? I must have an incorrect picture of this. Sounds like something a Pole Dancer in a night club would wear? Might go well with a Speedo?

[KJThomas]

Originally Posted by motion30

I find at 61 I am totally invisible to young girls. Imagine the crushing blow to my ego

Funny. I smile at everyone i pass. Small town upbringing. The young girls smiled at me in my 20's, glared at me in my 40's. Now they smile at the Grandad.

[ThereAndBack]

Man, what an empty dead thread. Ain't nobody in here.

[fish53]

At sixty while I was still working I had to have open heart surgery to replace my aortic valve and aortic arch. Shortly after the surgery, maybe a month I had a stroke and the coast guard pulled my license making me unemployed (I was a commercial captain). At sixty with health issues no one wants to hire you for anything and I was forced to go on disability. I went from a productive man supporting his family to a dependent of the state in less than a year. I started to drink perhaps a bit too much and a friend took me to lunch and said "you need something to get you back on the water" and he gave me a Tartan 27 in need of a bit of love. To everyone but my friend I had become invisible, even to myself. Well I'm not invisible anymore, I sold the Tartan a couple of years ago and bought a Cape dory 28, fixed it up and repowered it and now I'm building a pocket trawler, at 66 I'm planning to do the loop. It sucks when others can't see you but it's never all of them, look for the ones that look back at you and see what's there.

[Znightflyer]

Sounds like Coyote bar and grill.. Unfortunately Tuscany I think has closedown off Melrose..