Becoming Invisible

[hatteras53]

Originally Posted by fish53

At sixty while I was still working I had to have open heart surgery to replace my aortic valve and aortic arch. Shortly after the surgery, maybe a month I had a stroke and the coast guard pulled my license making me unemployed (I was a commercial captain). At sixty with health issues no one wants to hire you for anything and I was forced to go on disability. I went from a productive man supporting his family to a dependent of the state in less than a year. I started to drink perhaps a bit too much and a friend took me to lunch and said "you need something to get you back on the water" and he gave me a Tartan 27 in need of a bit of love. To everyone but my friend I had become invisible, even to myself. Well I'm not invisible anymore, I sold the Tartan a couple of years ago and bought a Cape dory 28, fixed it up and repowered it and now I'm building a pocket trawler, at 66 I'm planning to do the loop. It sucks when others can't see you but it's never all of them, look for the ones that look back at you and see what's there.

Gotta give you five stars ***** shipmate. Good for you. Am also 66. Maybe when our boat is finally finished we will sail all the way to Manila and then keep going around the world. I salute you CAPTAIN as a former U.S.N.A. Midshipman along with your family ! Inside of you I see true beauty.

[Icarus]

Originally Posted by sailorboy1

It seems to happen to me anytime I go into McDonald's. Don't know if it's an age thing or ..........

Probably live in an invisible orientated country. ...
I spent a few years in New Caledonia which is french and to my surprise I am visible again!
Must be a different culture...
Back in Australia i am 50% visible
But then the poms have always been slightly anal ....

[Icarus]

Originally Posted by Jammer

I briefly worked in a fancy downtown skyscraper. One day I was working on a friend's car and had to stop by the office for something.


I was wearing a coverall (boiler suit). It was like I didn't exist. I would look at people and smile, which is what I do, and --- I didn't exist. Invisible. It was creepy.


The next day I wore usual business attire and was once again visible, and people smiled back.

Keep wearing this suit....its magic! Lol

[Lance]

Right now 2 months since my new knee I can sympathise with a few of the posters above but now I will tell a story from years ago .
One day in Bali a French family moved into the bungalow next door.
Mum Dad and twin teenage beautiful daughters .
A couple of days later I was having a dawn surf at the pretty much deserted beach across the road.

Just as I was coming to shore I heard what sounded like laughter .
Walking onto the dry sand I looked again in the direction of the now obvious screams of fear. I then began running towards the three figures up the beach who were in need of help . About half way there one of the girls emerged from the water onto the sand crawling and then saw me heading her way she got up and began running at me waving her arms in the air screaming in French with the one word easily understood as save Papa.
Of course this young lady being french she did not own a top for her swimming attire and I will admit this vision was somewhat distracting from the task at hand.
So I forced myself to run past her to where the other two drowning persons were struggling in the deep running rip.
Still with my board under my arm I entered deep water and reached out to the other also topless twin .
A few moments of swimming and I had placed her onto the bank to the arms of her distraught sister who was still rightfully yelling Papa Papa.
Papa was drifting away fast and not looking too good he was pretty much on about his last submerge so I had to dive in and paddle across to him .
As I approached he surfaced with wild splashing arms and eyes like dinner plates.
I had no intention of this guy taking me with him so I got off my board and gently pushed it owards him , he found some super strength and scratched his way across the board slipping and flaying his arms around .
I yelked at him .hold on stay still.
He got a few breaths between some water coughing and I began swimming back to shore towing the patient and my board using my leg rope .
It was a good bit of exercise getting this guy back to dry land and his daughters.
Oh yes the thread theme , that is when I became permanently invisible to this guy .
I knew they were now all pretty much safe so I began walking away and then yes I admit the scenary got the better of me so I turned back and walked the trio back to the gear on the beach breaking out in my high school french explaining the dangers of swimming at this beach .
Anyway next day they moved out but I would pass them in the street a few times and each time the old guy would never even see me , one girl could smile a recognition but being twins I could not make out which one she was , the one who I physicalky saved with my arm around her bare chest or the girl who gave such a wonderful display as she ran to me for gelp .
True story no appologies for any perceived sexism in this story it was totalky intentional .vive la difference.

[john61ct]

Did you give her any gelp?

[Pelagic]

Hi Lance, great that you were there to help.
I wouldn't read much into the bare breasted bit as it is so common and natural on the French Riviera, that no one notices.

But in itself, women being forced to cover their breasts IS a form of Sexism

Cruised a lot in the remote atolls of Marshal Islands and Micronesia.
There, being bare breasted is normal, however, showing any thigh is pure scandal.

[RossD]

Originally Posted by hatteras53

Hi Ann,

Since semi-retiring from over 50 years in business, there are more and more times I have become invisible to others. My Filipino wife and I live in a relatively upscale area where our family property is located. We are only here because the property has been in the family for 70 years. When I take my daily walks, many avoid eye contact with me. In business, as the owner, many paid attention to me. Now I find with little authority and much less money almost no one stays in touch with me. Our 44' Nauticat is almost finished and I often dream of a trip from Baltimore to Manila and then a circumnavigation but the insurance companies don't seem interested to help us. Here in the U.S.A. in my lifetime it has all become about the money/status/youth/beauty. These are the people that everyone pays attention to. The large companies helped to drive me out of business along with employees who did not want to work. Honestly, now being invisible has become a daily event for me. Don't get me wrong, there are some KIND Americans but they are the exception now. Having gone to Manila 13 times now, I greatly prefer the poor Filipinos. If you want me to share a becoming invisible story, no problem. I have many now to tell. Never thought this would happen. America will never be great again until we learn to treat others the way we want to be treated. When I had a 53' Hatteras everyone looked at me. Now I have a 1981 Nauticat 44' that looks no so good on the outside but has had a ton of work done on the inside where it matters. Beauty is only skin deep they say. Our Nauticat is beautiful on the inside with plenty of new wiring/machinery/steering. So I try very hard to look for the true beauty of people and things too. Take good care. Michael 410-913-2330

Your entire post echos that of a society which has lost its soul. Not everyone is bad, however, it takes only a few "elite" to shun a person or degrade him/her in some way to leave a negative feeling. Its happened to me many times, however, after acquiring a bit of financial well being myself, and interacting with some of the self proclaimed elite, I prefer my old friends and their honest opinions. Yes, sometimes being invisible is just fine with me. God bless.

[toddster8]

Originally Posted by Icarus

Keep wearing this suit....its magic! Lol

I think I discovered the opposite once. On one of my rare vacations, I lost my mind and bought an expensive pair of sunglasses. (The plastic ones we wear in the PNW don’t really cut it down south.) I keep them in a safe place and only take them out for vacations - not really needed here up north.

When I got to the point in life when I needed to buy a house (well, I thought so at the time) I went to a lot of open houses and such, but was completely invisible as usual. Until one day for some reason, I wore those glasses. A salesman started glancing in my direction, as if he thought he saw something, but wasn’t quite sure... Before long, he was able to focus on the glasses. He actually walked up and said, “Pardon me, are those Maui Jim’s?” I managed to get my business card into his hand, and almost instantly I was getting a personal tour of the development.

And the work clothes thing... Yeah. One time I was working on a project in the New Mexico desert when there was a massive equipment breakdown. Bummer. Until someone realized... “Say, if we can get to ABQ in two hours, we could go home for the weekend!” There was not a minute to spare, but I made it. Even managed to cash in a first-class upgrade coupon. I stomped onto the plane in my filthy work clothes and steel-toed boots, hardhat under my arm, unwashed - in fact probably pretty darned ripe. And sat down in 2B, right in the middle of a group of primped and coiffed empty suits. For the entire flight, not one of them could even turn his head in my direction. That side of the plane just didn’t exist! Fortunately, the stewardess could see when I waved one of my vast collection of free-drink coupons. (Ah, Delta in the good old days.). That might have been the most satisfying flight I’ve ever had.

[Caribdis]

I'm enjoying my increasing invisibility as the decades pass. Self-absorption is rapidly intensifying and spreading all over the world; I believe the main driver is the internet. I see most younger people (under 40 or so) live so much online they don't want to have room for more personal relationships, certainly with older people. Maybe they're losing the ability to engage in person-to-person conversations, though I hope that's an exaggeration. Their loss.

And that's Ok. I really do feel kinda sorry for them. They have no idea of what privacy means. Even more sadly, nor perhaps do they want to. The best thing that ever happened for corporate and governmental intelligence databases is Facebook, SnapChat, Twitter, etc. I get the feeling the younger set don't see that as a problem either, though I sincerely hope I'm wrong about that.

Anyhow, we're older, yes, but the I think the Digital Divide contributes substantially further to that invisibilty, even for older folks who use those platforms. The stereotype of the white hair struggling with his/her email is alive and well out there.

[Uncle Bob]

Originally Posted by toddster8

I think I discovered the opposite once. On one of my rare vacations, I lost my mind and bought an expensive pair of sunglasses. (The plastic ones we wear in the PNW don’t really cut it down south.) I keep them in a safe place and only take them out for vacations - not really needed here up north.

When I got to the point in life when I needed to buy a house (well, I thought so at the time) I went to a lot of open houses and such, but was completely invisible as usual. Until one day for some reason, I wore those glasses. A salesman started glancing in my direction, as if he thought he saw something, but wasn’t quite sure... Before long, he was able to focus on the glasses. He actually walked up and said, “Pardon me, are those Maui Jim’s?” I managed to get my business card into his hand, and almost instantly I was getting a personal tour of the development.

And the work clothes thing... Yeah. One time I was working on a project in the New Mexico desert when there was a massive equipment breakdown. Bummer. Until someone realized... “Say, if we can get to ABQ in two hours, we could go home for the weekend!” There was not a minute to spare, but I made it. Even managed to cash in a first-class upgrade coupon. I stomped onto the plane in my filthy work clothes and steel-toed boots, hardhat under my arm, unwashed - in fact probably pretty darned ripe. And sat down in 2B, right in the middle of a group of primped and coiffed empty suits. For the entire flight, not one of them could even turn his head in my direction. That side of the plane just didn’t exist! Fortunately, the stewardess could see when I waved one of my vast collection of free-drink coupons. (Ah, Delta in the good old days.). That might have been the most satisfying flight I’ve ever had.

In a previous life I was a flight attendant, loved those situations! One of my friends recalled a situation on a flight from south africa to Australia where a large africaans "gentleman" refused to sit next to a dark skinned woman and her daughter, so with a little rearranging another large south african man was seated next to him, two into a row of three so plenty of room at which point the crew advised the woman and child that their new seats were in first class and waiting for them (only one passenger in the cabin so plenty of empty seats) where the crew treated them like honoured guests. Needless to say the gentlemen were unimpressed.

[hatteras53]

Originally Posted by RossD

Your entire post echos that of a society which has lost its soul. Not everyone is bad, however, it takes only a few "elite" to shun a person or degrade him/her in some way to leave a negative feeling. Its happened to me many times, however, after acquiring a bit of financial well being myself, and interacting with some of the self proclaimed elite, I prefer my old friends and their honest opinions. Yes, sometimes being invisible is just fine with me. God bless.

Thank you sir ! I agree with your honest comments. I no longer have a need for all the plastic rich people either. Prefer just a simple life. The real beauty is inside and not what you own. Some of these folks can't even operate their own boat. For me, the really rich people are those who treat others the way they want to be treated.....especially when no one else is watching. God bless you too shipmate. Michael