The 2021 -2024 and Continuing Joke Threads

[GILow]

Originally Posted by El Pinguino

Well that joke was a bit flat.



…

I see what you did there.

[GordMay]

Speaking of hypocracy:

*

*

[Dave_S]

Originally Posted by OutOfControl

A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Little Aaron says, "I wanna start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest whore, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an infinite Visa Card and all the while banging her like a loose screen door in a hurricane."

The teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Aaron decides not to acknowledge what he said. And she simply tries to continue with the lesson.

"And how about you, Sarah?" The teacher asks.

"I wanna be Aaron's whore."

Aaron ?

That must be Little Johny's stage name

[Eigenvector]

A teacher said to her class, "Suppose you were all millionaires, write what you would do"...

Everyone immediately began to write furiously, except little Johnny, who kicked back and put his feet on the table. The teacher walked over to him. "Why aren't you writing Johnny?" she asked. Johnny looked up. "I'm waiting for my secretary."

[GordMay]

FWIW [fun facts]:
The science of laughing, and its effect on the human body, is referred to as Gelotology.
Studies, that looked at laughter in adults versus children, found that kids tend to laugh about three times more than adults.
Biology is the only science, in which multiplication, is the same thing as division.
There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of people will find this funny.

Some teacher - student interactions:

Teacher: Johnny, you know you can’t sleep in my class.
Student: I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could.

Teacher: You missed school yesterday, didn’t you?
Student: To be honest, not really.

Teacher: Didn’t I just tell you to stand at the end of the line?
Student: Well, I tried, but there was someone there already.

Teacher: What did you do on the weekend?
Student: I did some cooking.
Teacher: Lovely, what did you bake?
Student: Synonym rolls, just like grammar used to make.

Teacher: One day we will be corruption free. Which tense is it?
Student: Future impossible tense.


Now, for a quiz:

Q: What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A: Lots of blood tests.

Q: What do you do, when no one laughs at your science jokes?
A: Keep trying, until you get a reaction.

Q: What do you get when you cross a Software Engineer with an English teacher?
A: A programmar.

What if math teachers are pirates, and they just want us to find X, so they can get the buried treasure?

[Montanan]

Every head should be equipped with one.

[dfelsent]

[Montanan]

Preparing for the pending lockdown.

[Dave_S]

Originally Posted by Montanan

Every head should be equipped with one.

A very confusing operational colour code system, port and starboard handles but reversed stirrups.

Someone's going to get hurt with this, I'd advise an immediate site shut down until this gets sorted.

[GordMay]

[GordMay]

[Yellowtulip]

Originally Posted by Dave_S

A very confusing operational colour code system, port and starboard handles but reversed stirrups.



.

Perhaps it’s aimed at those with European torsos but American legs?

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by Jim Cate

Thanks for the link, Stu, but being fairly dense I still don't get Matt's joke/meme/mystery tableau with the batteries.



And BTW, I had seen the famous lady/cat meme before, but hadn't paid much attention to it at the time. Now that I know it to be famous, I still won't pay much attention, for it doesn't resonate with me at all. Matt is WAY younger than I am and lives in an alternate universe... perhaps this explains all!



I'm pretty boring, I guess!



Jim

Being a Joke thread Jim I'll go for it.......
The batteries suggest an overuse of vibrators
The cat is a synonym for the target point
The woman represents the effects of eating too many salads.

[Jim Cate]

Originally Posted by Pelagic

Being a Joke thread Jim I'll go for it.......
The batteries suggest an overuse of vibrators
The cat is a synonym for the target point
The woman represents the effects of eating too many salads.

Thanks for that, mate... now I understand!

Jim

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by Jim Cate

Thanks for that, mate... now I understand!



Jim

Lol...Glad you did.... I just made it all up...
..Thankful... I didn't get into the bit about you being boring

Seasons best to Ann and You !