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**GordMay** · 06-01-2022, 05:55

One day, a family started hearing loud talking, coming from underneath the ground, in their backyard. They figured maybe the plumber, who did some work yesterday, left a radio down there.
They sat and listened to the talking, then realized it was mostly about vaccination, climate change, and UFO’s.
They called the plumber to ask about his missing radio.
“Radio? I didn’t bring a radio. Oh, I see the problem.
I installed a skeptic tank, instead of a septic tank.”

**GordMay** · 06-01-2022, 06:13

There was an American wrestler from Texas named John, who throughout his high school career had never lost a match. As he went on into college he continued undefeated. He became a national icon and symbol of American strength. News began to circulate of a Russian wrestler who was fierce and unstoppable. As each wrestlers legends grew, a match was set up between the two, America versus Russia. The match would be held in Texas.

John began training immediately. Every day his coach would tell him, “This Russian has a move called the Mongolian Death Grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian Death Grip. DO NOT let him get you in the Mongolian Death Grip”

The day of the match finally came. Just before each wrestler stepped onto the mat in front of the capacity crowd, the coach once again said, “Whatever you do, do not let him get you in the Mongolian death grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian death grip”.

Four seconds into the match, the Russian had the American in the Mongolian death grip. The coach buried his face into his hands and cursed John for not listening to his advice.

All of the sudden he heard the crowd erupt, in a chant of USA USA USA.

He looked up and saw the Russian pinned by John. The coach ran out to meet John and embarrassingly told him, “I didn’t see… Once he had you in the Mongolian Death Grip I looked away. How in the world did you get out of the Mongolian death grip?”

With heavy breath, John told him “Well coach, that Russian grabbed me and twisted my body in ways I never imagined possible. I was wincing in pain when I open my eyes and right in front of me were two testicles. So I bit them.”

“What???” Said the coach… “John I don’t think that is legal. You could be disqualified”

“I don’t know about that coach. But I can tell you one thing.

You ain’t got no idea how strong you are, until you bite your own balls”

**GordMay** · 07-01-2022, 02:00

**GordMay** · 07-01-2022, 02:01

**GordMay** · 07-01-2022, 02:07

**GordMay** · 07-01-2022, 05:24

Sometimes, “a penny, for your thoughts”, seems a bit pricey.

**GordMay** · 07-01-2022, 05:56

Freud, Darwin and the Pope walked into a bar.

Sitting on the counter is a weird, creepy statue. As they walk in, it's eyes seem to follow them.
They approach the bar, and to their shock the statue speaks. "Enjoy your beverages, mortals."

The three are stunned for a moment.

Darwin recovers first.
"This obviously is a product of evolution. The statue has evolved and now has the ability to speak. Pure science, nothing to fear."

Freud laughs. "No, no, this is clearly a combination of hysterical delusions, coupled with projection of childhood fears and unfulfilled wishes. I've treated cases like this."

The Pope cries out "Can't you see, this is Satan at work!"
He clutches his crucifix and says "Oh demonic messenger of Hell, i order you to reveal yourself. What in heaven's name are you???"

"I'm a ventriloquist." replies the bartender.

**GordMay** · 08-01-2022, 04:20

**GordMay** · 08-01-2022, 04:21

**GordMay** · 08-01-2022, 06:43

Apparently, there are three, very important rules, on the CruisersForum:
1.
2.
3.

**GordMay** · 08-01-2022, 06:44

Before the ball could touch the floor, I kicked it back, sending it soaring past the other players, and into the top corner of the net. Overcome with emotion, I ripped off my shirt and punched the air. My eyes locked with my stunned coach, who came running towards me, shaking his head in amazement.
As he embraced me, he sighed,

"OK, let's go over the rules of volleyball, one last time."