The 2021 -2024 and Continuing Joke Threads

[GordMay]

Daily Affirmations:

I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.

I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else’s fault.

I no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise myself. Unless, of course, I want to stay employed.

In some cultures, what I do would be considered normal.

I honor my personality flaws, for without them I would have no personality at all.

I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.

Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than “I told you so”.

Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day watching TV. Instead I will move my TV into the bedroom.

I will find humor in my everyday life, by looking for people I can laugh at.

The next time the universe knocks on my door, I will pretend I am not home.

To have a successful relationship, I will learn to make it look like I’m giving as much as I’m getting.

I am willing to make the mistakes to help others learn from them.

[Buzzman]

Originally Posted by JBP

I didn't know who ScoMo was, so I looked it up. Wikipedia said (the mini Wikipedia excerpt in search results, the real site has been fixed)

He's also known as Scummo......

[GordMay]

For the MSM haters, amongst us:

[GordMay]

[GordMay]

[GordMay]

Q: How do you talk to a COVID denier?
A: Quietly, without raising your voice, so you do not disturb the other patients, in the mental health ward.

[skipmac]

A little British humor

[belizesailor]

Originally Posted by GordMay

Some folks logic:
Q: If you have 7 pencils, and I have 4 apples, how many pancakes will fit on the roof?
A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

A growing % of people it seems...

[GordMay]

[GordMay]

The Dilbert Principle:
The most ineffective workers will be systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage — management.

See also: Putt's law, The Peter principle, Parkinson's Law, and etc.

[SailRN]

Originally Posted by GordMay

The Dilbert Principle:
The most ineffective workers will be systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage — management.

See also: Putt's law, The Peter principle, Parkinson's Law, and etc.

This, with certainty, does not work in politics, because many voters are comprised of:


These people
Quote:
Originally Posted by GordMay
Some folks logic:
Q: If you have 7 pencils, and I have 4 apples, how many pancakes will fit on the roof?
A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

A growing % of people it seems...

[Buzzman]

Originally Posted by SailRN

This, with certainty, does not work in politics, because many voters are comprised of:


These people
Quote:
Originally Posted by GordMay
Some folks logic:
Q: If you have 7 pencils, and I have 4 apples, how many pancakes will fit on the roof?
A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

A growing % of people it seems...

Ain't this the truth. we recently had a local Council election where a groups of God-botherers 'gamed' the system by froming two Groups wich allowed them, on our ballot paper system, to have 'above the line' voting for each Group, who then cross-preferenced each other and got three of them elected.
The purple-haired aliens just voted '1' above the line, despite the groups not being called 'Labor' or 'Liberal' or even 'The Greens' as one would expect of 'organised Groups'.
And it was totally legal.....
Much braying has been heard about the valley ever since, as it appears the 'donkeys' got what they wanted.....

[GordMay]

[Eigenvector]

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

[GordMay]