The 2021 -2024 and Continuing Joke Threads

[Yellowtulip]

Originally Posted by Kelkara

Apparently this guy did think it was good enough for Douglas Adams ...
http://mboard.douglasadams.com/cgi-b...ead.cgi?2060,0

That is SO Douglas Adams!

[Buzzman]

It doesn't matter who wrote it, because it's all true! Ask any Aussie..!!!

And, please, FTR, it's pronounced O-zee, not Arr-zee, and definitely not Oss-see. We get awfully annoyed when people get this wrong.

I have heard all these mispronunciations from Americans who - allegedly - speak the same language as we do..!

Mind you, I probably should have realised they would make a hash of it. After all, they pronounce the name of that reflective glass pane found in bathrooms as 'Mir' - like in the Russian space station.


Allegedly, this translates as 'Peace', so why American's insist on saying 'Peace' while facing the reflective wall in the bathroom I truly cannot understand.


Especially if one reflects on the number of wars the Americans have started, or finished, or walked away from unfinished, or just generally acted in belligerently towards all and sundry.


They also don't like being reminded of this.

And whatever you do - don't mention Vietnam! Or as it is called in that fair Asian country - The American War.



Apparently, all the American soldiers got stoned, ate gallons of ice-cream, left piles of candy wrappers all over the jungle, and failed to shoot any Vietnamese belligerents who, perhaps wisely, spent most of the war hiding in tunnels.



Started by the French, of course, another lot of belligerent warmongers but, unfinished, by the Americans.


The other 'unfinished' war in which America was involved apparently featured Hawkeye Pearce and a bunch of crazy doctors, none of whom was capable of, or interested in, wielding a rifle. Allegedly, this all happened 'off set'. Which in itself is odd, because the war is supposedly in Korea, yet the set was in downtown Los Angeles.


Apparently, this dislocation gave the Americans a taste for 'remote warfare', and they have been supplying arms to and fostering such wars ever since.


They have even invented remotely-guided weapon systems - called drones - that can be 'flown' from a desk in Langley while in fact being somewhere over Afghanistan.


It's only a matter of time before Boston Dynamics lifts the curtain on the REAL reason they are creating human-like robotics. Boston Dynamics features heavily in the yet-to-be-released pre-quel to Iron Man.


The other thing about Americans is that they can be unreasonably and belligerently stupid. That whole 'Second Amendment' thing that most of them so completely misunderstand.

Which doesn't help their supposedly democratic system of governance and elections, as it appears to an unbiased observer they have a penchant for voting for the loudest and most belligerent candidate.


Occasionally, they get this completely wrong, and the world looks up with a collective "Hullo! What just happened?".


Still, who are we Aussies to talk? We once elected as Our Leader a man who partook of raw, unpeeled onions as a snack.

Although, to be honest, I'm not sure whether this is a good thing or not.

But it goes some way towards proving just exactly what sort of strange place the planet truly is.

---Douglas Adams, Sydney, Australia, Jan 2022

[SailRN]

Wow. .

[Jim Cate]

---Douglas Adams, Sydney, Australia, Jan 2022

Hooray, he has returned from the dead!

Jim

[Uncle Bob]

And so the accuracy of the Aussie description is proven pretty darn accurate.

[Midnight Son]

Originally Posted by Jim Cate

Hooray, he has returned from the dead!

Jim

My thoughts, exactly!

[GordMay]

*

[MicHughV]

America has it faults and foibles to be sure...but strangely....everyone wants to live there..

I'm surprised Mr. Douglas Adams didn't have anything to say about America's gift to the world....the all American hamburger....otherwise known as McDonalds...washed down with the all American beer...Budweiser...

[Jim Cate]

I'm surprised Mr. Douglas Adams didn't have anything to say about America's gift to the world....the all American hamburger....otherwise known as McDonalds...washed down with the all American beer...Budweiser...

Perhaps because DA was raised right and his mom told him "If ya can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" he just avoided commenting on these dubious treats.

Jim

[Buzzman]

Originally Posted by MicHughV

America has it faults and foibles to be sure...but strangely....everyone wants to live there..

I'm surprised Mr. Douglas Adams didn't have anything to say about America's gift to the world....the all American hamburger....otherwise known as McDonalds...washed down with the all American beer...Budweiser...

He probably would have, had he lived longer. Both of those items are wide open for a galactic skewering.


He probably would have said something about there being no ham in the 'burger'; about gherkin pickles not being part of any burger under any circumstances; and about the total lack of beetroot which, as any self-respecting galactic citizen knows, is an essential addition to any 'real' burger.


No doubt, had he thought about it, he might have made some remarks about drinking Budweiser being akin to having sex in a canoe....


He'd probably have been equally disparaging about those ghastly monstrosities being erected in suburbs the western world over, known colloquially as McMansions due to their being puffed up, over-sized and utterly tasteless versions of what one might generally expect a dwelling should be.


But until the next instalment in his six part trilogy appears out of a worm hole from the future-past, will never-eventually misunderstand whatever he will/might have thought. It will/not of course/maybe be titled "Before I Forget..."

[Bullshooter]

Wow, you shackle-draggers can sure get worked up!

Not that we don't deserve the skewering...

[Buzzman]

Originally Posted by Bullshooter

Wow, you shackle-draggers can sure get worked up!

Not that we don't deserve the skewering...

With a nickname like "Bullshooter" one naturally assumes some level of affinity with our attempts at 'humour' which, I hope you will note, is spelled correctly, with a 'u'....

[ChrisJHC]

I think that you learn everything you need to know about the US when you realise that they call Budweiser a beer!

The rest of the world has other names for it

[DMF Sailing]

It's not a joke so much as it's just funny to me.

Not sure how many Dari speakers there are on here, Afghanistan being a landlocked country.

But I get a kick out of the fact that WAFI

وفی

Means "reliable"

Which I suppose makes sense, in a way.

[delmarrey]

Originally Posted by ChrisJHC

I think that you learn everything you need to know about the US when you realise that they call Budweiser a beer!

The rest of the world has other names for it

Embalming fluid…….