The 2021 -2024 and Continuing Joke Threads

[GordMay]

There is a species of frog, that can jump higher than a 3 story house.
This is due to the frog's incredibly strong hind legs, and the fact that a house can't jump.

[GordMay]

[MicHughV]

I is an injuneer....hones'.....dat is funnee....I have bin wrong 'afore...once before, i thought I had made a mistake....but I was mistaken...

[GordMay]

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[GordMay]

[CruiseN]

[Wotname]

Just saying ...

[Uncle Bob]

Originally Posted by Wotname

Just saying ...

Thanks Scomo.

[CruiseN]

I think the biggest joke is English taught to our public. Such is a lie or at least a statement reading that people don't have the skills of you and I.

Such as ' Pedestrians can not walk in the drive through. They will not be served.'

Assuming they meant may not.

[GordMay]

Originally Posted by CruiseN

... Such as ' Pedestrians can not walk in the drive through. They will not be served.'
Assuming they meant may not.

Will vs May:
The word 'will' connotes a more definite occurrence; if we say "that will happen", we are indicating that there is no doubt about it, where when we say "that may happen", we are specifically saying it may or it may not happen.

Can vs May:
Can and may can both be used to ask for permission, although "may" is considered more formal. "May" is the older word and has meanings that refer to the ability to do something, the possibility of something, as well as granting permission. "Can" first overlapped with the definition of "the ability to do something," and later took the "permission" definition as well.

I don't see much humour, in either usage.

However, lets face it English is an odd language There is no egg in the eggplant, no ham in the hamburger, and, there’s neither pine, nor apple, in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England, and French Fries Were Not Invented In France.
If We Examine Its Paradoxes, we Find That:
Quicksand Takes You Down Slowly
Boxing Rings Are Square
And A Guinea Pig Is Neither From Guinea, Nor Is It A Pig.

[CruiseN]

I just look dumb then amongst many mates.
Eg. Friend asks if he can take my remaining drink or similar and I'm looking dumbfounded thinking how to reply without lie because I believe he has coordination but he may go and get a cold container from the box instead.
LoL often saying yes then snapping prior a slow attempt at take and say ," I didn't say you may."

[fgd3]

Originally Posted by CruiseN

I think the biggest joke is English taught to our public. Such is a lie or at least a statement reading that people don't have the skills of you and I.

Such as ' Pedestrians can not walk in the drive through. They will not be served.'

Assuming they meant may not.

Really? You're going to post a grammar rant beginning with your use of a nominative pronoun as the object of a preposition?

[ChrisJHC]

Originally Posted by fgd3

Really? You're going to post a grammar rant beginning with your use of a nominative pronoun as the object of a preposition?

Careful!
Given some of Cruise’s posts, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he or she is a high school English teacher!

[dfelsent]

Ahh grammar grammar grammar.
English of course is defined by current usage.
My favorites are words such as
cleave
Bi-weekly
Clip
Dust
Fast
Oversight

These words have multiple definitions two of which are opposites.

Cleave can mean "to cling" or "to split apart"

And separately for pronunciation I love the word phthisic. Pronounced tizik.

English is a very funny language. And I grew up speaking it.

[StuM]

Originally Posted by ChrisJHC

Careful!
Given some of Cruise’s posts, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he or she is a high school English teacher!

Classic!