The 2021 -2024 and Continuing Joke Threads

[JPA Cate]

English is a very funny language. And I grew up speaking it.

This morning I had a little bite, dealt with some bytes, all the while anchored in a bight.

And I'm a native English speaker, too. It is a very weird language. And weird has nothing to do with weirs. Let alone wires. It has to be very difficult for folks who don't have homophones in their languages.

[StuM]

Originally Posted by JPA Cate

And I'm a native English speaker, too.

Hmmm, I thought you were from the US

[belizesailor]

Originally Posted by StuM

Hmmm, I thought you were from the US [emoji3]

[emoji1787]

Growing up in Mississippi and then living in rural Guatemala (which have some similarities), I joke that I now speak 2 languages...both badly!

[mlydon]

Joke thread, guys.......JOKE thread.

In the last 2 pages, 7 jokes posted, 14 non-jokes.....those stats are a joke in themselves

Guy gets sent to jail, is of course freaked out, and hanging around with an old-timer who’s showing him the ropes. At dinner in the mess hall, someone stands up and says “seventeen”. The room cracks up. A bit later, another guy stands up and says “twenty-three”. Again, the crown cracks up. The newbie is all confused, and asks the the old-timer what’s going on. “The prison library is very small”, says the old-timer “there’s only one joke book, ‘100 best jokes’, and we’ve all read it so often, we know all the jokes by heart - we just say their number, and the guys know the joke.
A couple of days go by, and the newbie is starting to settle in. That night in the mess hall, he waits for a good time, stands up, and says “fifty-two”. Dead silence in the room. The newb sits back down and asks the old-timer what the problem is....

The old-timer says “Kid - some people just don’t know how to tell a joke”

Matt

[JPA Cate]

Originally Posted by StuM

Hmmm, I thought you were from the US

Too right! But we didn't call it American English, we just "know" we're speaking "English". ...And then, when we visit other countries with close colonial ties to "Mother England", they think WE have the accents! Can hardly understand some of them....and all of us thinking we're speaking the King or Queen's English, which we really don't!

Have you ever considered how opaque to a speaker of *American English* English rhyming slang is? Mmmmm a learning experience/total wipeout.

Somebody, quick tell a joke!

[CruiseN]

[Jim Cate]

Re "English" as spoken in the UK: I once attended a heavy duty meeting at AWRE Aldermaston (UK's nuclear weapons research center... oops, centre). There were boffins from all over the UK and her satellite nations. I could not understand a word from perhaps a third of them, but surprisingly it seemed that they all could understand me and my cohorts from California.

Go figger...

Jim

And while that seems funny to me, it ain't a joke, so apologies all around.

[GordMay]

[GordMay]

[GordMay]

[mikereed100]

Originally Posted by StuM

Hmmm, I thought you were from the US

Oh snap!
But seriously, the English deserve full credit for the creation of rich and expressive language. All we Americans did was clean up the spelling and perfect the accent.

[MicHughV]

there is American English....

and then there is hillbilly American English...

"Now lookee her...or.....lookee yonder..

" he ain't right in the head"...or...he's touched in the head"...means same thing...

"y'all come back now and see us, y'hear"...

"well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit..."

" act like youve bin in a town 'afore"..

many, many more...hard to have a conversation with someone from Tennessee....or West Virginia...and they all think they speak English...

[Montanan]

A preposition is a poor word to end a sentence with.

[GordMay]

Supposedly, an editor had clumsily rearranged one of Churchill’s sentences, to avoid ending it in a preposition, and the Prime Minister, very proud of his style, scribbled a note, in reply, variously:
“This is the sort of English up with which I will not put.”
“Not ending a sentence with a preposition is a bit of arrant pedantry up with which I will not put.”
And numerous other versions.*
* Which leads me to believe that the story may be apocryphal.

[skipperpete]