The 2021 -2024 and Continuing Joke Threads

[BlueH2Obound]

Originally Posted by OutOfControl

Bartender vs. Psychiatrist

Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone under my bed at night. So I went to a shrink and told him, "I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared and I think I'm going crazy.”

"Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come in and talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears."

“How much do you charge?”

"Eighty dollars per visit", replied the doctor.

"I'll sleep on it", I said.

Six months later the doctor met me on the street. "Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?" he asked.

"Well, eighty bucks a visit, three times a week for a year is $12,480.00. A bartender cured me for $10.00. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup truck."

"Is that so?" With a bit of an attitude, he said, "and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?”

"He told me to cut the legs off the bed. Ain't nobody under there now!”

Wow! A brand new pickup truck for only $12,480.00! Now THAT'S funny!

[delmarrey]

Originally Posted by BlueH2Obound

Wow! A brand new pickup truck for only $12,480.00! Now THAT'S funny!

No! That’s old……at least 1965

[JPA Cate]

Too right, but I still like the concept: practical over ephemeral.

[GordMay]

[GordMay]

[MicHughV]

"He told me to cut the legs off the bed. Ain't nobody under there now!”

classic

[GordMay]

[GordMay]

[GordMay]

Q: What is the Capital of Spain?
A: “S”

Q: Why can cutlery teleport, but not time travel?
A: It’s silverwhere, not silverwhen.

Q: Why don't aliens visit our planet?
A: It has terrible ratings. Only one star.

[MicHughV]

Little Johnie is sitting in his second grade class, when the teacher asks the kids to come up with a something that can be described as "nice"

First kid says "my pet rabbit"....next kid says " my pet frog".....and this goes on and on...

Finally she gets to Johnie " well, Johnie, do you have anything that's nice.
Johnie replies " I do, my 16 yr old pregnant sister"

Shocked the teacher ask Johnie how that could be construed as being nice...

Johnie says " Well, last night at dinner, my sister told my dad she was pregnant and he said " Well, that's nice, really f**cking nice !!"

[Jamme]

[Jamme]

[Jamme]

[GordMay]

[carlosproa]

Originally Posted by Jamme

Attachment 254404

Or maybe he is straight and commits to vagina for life