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SailRN · 20-03-2022, 07:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by StuM

It would be great if you attached that list to a post as a .txt file (or even a .doc file)

ShakespeareInsults.doc

Shakespeare Insults
Combine one word from each of the three columns below, prefaced with "Thou":
Column 1 Column 2 Column 3

artless base-court apple-john
bawdy bat-fowling baggage
beslubbering beef-witted barnacle
bootless beetle-headed bladder
churlish boil-brained boar-pig
cockered clapper-clawed bugbear
clouted clay-brained bum-bailey
craven common-kissing canker-blossom
currish crook-pated clack-dish
dankish dismal-dreaming clotpole
dissembling dizzy-eyed coxcomb
droning doghearted codpiece
errant dread-bolted death-token
fawning earth-vexing dewberry
fobbing elf-skinned flap-dragon
froward fat-kidneyed flax-wench
frothy fen-sucked flirt-gill
gleeking flap-mouthed foot-licker
goatish fly-bitten fustilarian
gorbellied folly-fallen giglet
impertinent fool-born gudgeon
infectious full-gorged haggard
jarring guts-griping harpy
loggerheaded half-faced hedge-pig
lumpish hasty-witted horn-beast
mammering hedge-born hugger-mugger
mangled hell-hated joithead
mewling idle-headed lewdster
paunchy ill-breeding lout
pribbling ill-nurtured maggot-pie
puking knotty-pated malt-worm
puny milk-livered mammet
qualling motley-minded measle
rank onion-eyed minnow
reeky plume-plucked miscreant
roguish pottle-deep moldwarp
ruttish pox-marked mumble-news
saucy reeling-ripe nut-hook
spleeny rough-hewn pigeon-egg
spongy rude-growing pignut
surly rump-fed puttock
tottering shard-borne pumpion
unmuzzled sheep-biting ratsbane
vain spur-galled scut
venomed swag-bellied skainsmate
villainous tardy-gaited strumpet
warped tickle-brained varlot
wayward toad-spotted vassal
weedy unchin-snouted whey-face
yeasty weather-bitten wagtail

SailRN · 20-03-2022, 09:56

BilgeRat · 20-03-2022, 11:57

The constant repeatability of genes……..

Slowtack · 20-03-2022, 13:59

Quote:

Originally Posted by SailRN

Please, please, do not insult others here on this joke forum, at least not using common contemporary insult words.

Here's a an alternative, you know, to class up your insults:

Shakespear Insult Aid

Combine one word from each of the three columns below, prefaced with "Thou":

Attachment 254643

Anyone know how to make postings accept columns? It wouldn't take the column-format from my word processor, so I took a picture of my word processor screen and posted that. Or if there was a way to post a larger picture.

Hmmm....................lot of f-words in there..............

**StuM** · 20-03-2022, 15:01

Quote:

Originally Posted by SailRN

Shakespeare Insults
Combine one word from each of the three columns below, prefaced with "Thou":

Thanks for that. I've just knocked up a liitle Windows application to generate 5 random insults at a time and copy them to the clpiboard

If anyone want a copy, PM me (it's only 42KB)

OutOfControl · 20-03-2022, 15:36

Dugly had suffered from really bad headaches for the last 20 years. He eventually decides to go and see a Doctor.

The Doctor said, ‘Dugly, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.’

Dugly was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. The surgery cost him $15,000.

When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself.
As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He saw a Men’s clothing store and thought, ‘That’s what I need… A new suit.’ He entered the shop and told the salesman, ‘I’d like a new suit.’ The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, ‘Let’s see… size 44 long.' Dugly laughed, ‘That’s right, how did you know?’ ‘Been in the business 60 years!’ the tailor said. Dugly tried on the suit it fitted perfectly.

As Dugly admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, ‘How about a new shirt?’ Dugly thought for a moment and then said, ‘Sure.’ The salesman eyed Dugly and said, ‘Let’s see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.’ Dugly was surprised, ‘That’s right, how did you know?’ ‘Been in the business 60 years.’ Dugly tried the shirt and it fitted perfectly.

Dugly walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, ‘How about some new underwear?’ Dugly thought for a moment and said, ‘Sure.’ The salesman said, ‘Let’s see… size 36’. Dugly laughed, ‘Ah ha! I got you! I’ve worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.’

The salesman shook his head, ‘You can’t wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a Headache.’