The 2021 -2024 and Continuing Joke Threads

[Jamme]

[Jamme]

Originally Posted by GordMay

I’m writing this from the hospital. Don’t worry, the doctors say I should be fine, but I must warn you ...
... the Dyson ball cleaner has a very misleading name!

Ouch.

[SailRN]

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[SailRN]

Amazon Introduces 'Kindle Bonfire' Feature That Lets You Burn Digital Books

[carlosproa]

MAY THE 4th BE WITH YOU

[SailRN]

Do you know why duct tape is like "The Force"?


It has a light side and dark side, and holds the universe together.

[GordMay]

[SailRN]

[SailRN]

[SailRN]

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[GordMay]

[GordMay]

Experts recommend putting a baby monitor, in the nursery, with your baby.
It turns out, they don't mean the lizard.

Eight out of ten experts agree that ...
... the other two are idiots, who should not be called experts.

Opinions are like ******** …
… if an expert tells you there is something wrong with yours, it is best to have it examined.

[GordMay]

Vodka with ice damages the kidneys, rum with ice damages the liver, gin with ice damages the heart, and whisky with ice damages the brain.
Why is Ice so dangerous?

I didn’t feel like cooking tonight, so I made a sandwich, for dinner.
It wasn’t so much as a sandwich, as much as it was just bread.
I guess more just grain.
Fermented grain.
Distilled, fermented grain.
It turns out, I had whisky for dinner tonight.

I can walk on water, but I just kind of stumble on whisky.

Love makes the world go round.

But, Whiskey makes it go round twice as fast.

[GordMay]

New Covid Test

A new and easy self test, for the horror of Covid 19, is doing the rounds, and it's simple, quick, and positive (or negative if you see what I mean).
Take a glass, and pour a decent dram of your favorite whisky into it; then see if you can smell it. If you can, then you are halfway there.
Then drink it. If you can taste it, then it is reasonable to assume you are currently free of the virus, because the loss of the sense of smell and taste is a common symptom.
I tested myself 9 times last night, and was virus free every time, thank goodness.
I will have to test myself again today, because I have developed a throbbing headache, which can also be one of the symptoms.
I'll report my results later.

[Jamme]

Some more good ol’ C&H: