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**GordMay** · 30-05-2022, 02:32

I don’t write these jokes.
I just observe governments & politicians, and report the facts.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it - and then, misapplying the wrong remedies.

Politics is the most accurate word in the English language.
Poly = many.
Ticks = blood sucking parasites.

Politicians should wear uniforms, like F-1 drivers, so we can identify their corporate sponsors.

The EU now has 1 GB of free space.

America is a country which produces citizens, who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street, to vote.

What's the difference between Biden, and a slow, phony, fake, crooked, corrupt politician?
About 4 million votes.

Kid: Dad, I want to be in politics when I grow up.
Dad: Are you insane? Have you completely lost your mind? Are you a moron?
Kid: Forget it. There seems to be too many requirements.

If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day.
If you TEACH a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime.
And if you talk about fish, to a starving man, you're a politician.

A politician uses statistics, like a drunk uses a street light.
For support, rather than illumination.

Stop repeat offenders.
Don't re-elect them!

For extra cash, consider robbing sex offenders.
Their address is easy to find, and they can't own guns.
The only downside is, politicians usually have good security.

**GordMay** · 30-05-2022, 03:44

A physicist, a biologist, and a chemist were going to the ocean for the first time. The physicist saw the ocean and was fascinated by the waves. He said he wanted to do some research on the fluid dynamics of the waves and walked into the ocean. Obviously he was drowned and never returned.
The biologist said he wanted to do research on the flora and fauna inside the ocean and walked inside the ocean. He, too, never returned.

The chemist waited for a long time and afterwards, wrote the observation, “The physicist and the biologist are soluble in ocean water.”

***

A biologist, an engineer, and a mathematician were observing an empty building. They noted two people entering the building, and sometime later observed three coming out.
The biologist remarked, “Oh, they must have reproduced.”
The engineer said, “Our initial count must have been incorrect.”
The mathematician stated, “Now if one more person goes into the building, it will be completely empty.”

Idaho · 30-05-2022, 03:56

Q: Why did all the Democrats in Congress vote for Biden's $40 billion to be sent to Zelinsky's Ukraine?

A: Because if you support one moronic idiot, it seems completely logical to support a second moronic idiot.

**GordMay** · 30-05-2022, 04:28

Why I love circular logic ...
Because I love circular logic!

Q: Why did the Republican hate his logic course?
A: Because Philosophy is considered a liberal art.

**GordMay** · 30-05-2022, 05:25

A professor in a Logic class says "Alright class, if you know what 'affirming the consequent' means, then raise your hand."
A student raises her hand.
The Professor says "Ah, yes. You know what it is?"
The student says "No, why would you think so?"

My teacher said people, who study programming, are better at "If-Then" logic.
I've determined that it's a bunch of booleshit.

**s/v Jedi** · 30-05-2022, 07:07

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**s/v Jedi** · 30-05-2022, 07:49

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**GordMay** · 30-05-2022, 08:35

An amazing new movie was released, about a disabled seagull, with a broken left wing, that learned to fly.
Unfortunately, the woke public ensured that it was immediately cancelled.

They were upset that a movie, about a right wing extremist, was in the public eye.