The 2021 -2024 and Continuing Joke Threads

[SailRN]

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[GordMay]

[GordMay]

Q: What do you call a library full of fake news?
A: A liebrary

Q: Who takes the pictures for fake news?
A: Fauxtographers.

Q: How many Trump supporters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: What light bulb? There is no light bulb, and never was. Liberals broke the light bulb. Fake news.

Q: If Donald Trump talked about "fake news" during the State of the Union...
Would that have made it “the State of the Onion”?
A: IDK.

[s/v Jedi]

12345

[GordMay]

At Hypochondriacs Anonymous ...
The first step is admitting you don't have a problem.


To solve world hunger, we need to eat the rich, and erect a giant statue of Bernie Sanders.
Why do we need the statue?
Well, I’m glad that the first step didn’t raise any questions.

[GordMay]

I'm making a documentary about the American education system.
Shooting starts soon.

I think the reason that schools are so dangerous, is because of the name "School".
If we renamed all education centres as "Uterus", then conservatives might actually care about what's inside them.

A large study shows that educational achievement, and earned income, strongly correlated with height.
The study, carried out among hundreds of elementary school classes, showed the tallest person in the room almost always had the highest income, and education level.

[s/v Jedi]

67890

[MicHughV]

Mike was an unemployed actor down on his dumps, living in a seedy hotel.
Late one night he gets a call from his agent " we have job for you, it's tonite at the theatre....it's only one line...but all I've got..."
Mike asks " what's the line ?"
Agent replies, when you come on stage you will hear a loud cannon go off and you are to say " hark...is that the cannon I hear !!"
Mike sez...sounds simple enuff, I'll take the job...
Agent sez you've got to be at the theatre in 30 minutes.
As Mike is getting ready, there is a knock on the door, it's the bellboy, who asks " are you the guy that sez ...hark..is that the cannon I hear...
Mike replies he is....the bellboy sez...hurry, I have a cab waiting for you...
As Mike runs out, a cab driver approaches him " hey, are you the guy that sez..hark, is that the cannon I hear"..Mike sez he is and hops in and they roar off.
As they get to the theatre, the manager runs out , sees the cab and asks...." are you the guy that sez....hark, is that the cannon I hear"....Mike sez he is indeed...
"hurry" the theatre manager sez, " you need to be on stage in one minute"
Mike runs to the dressing room, where an assistant asks him.."hey, are you the guy that sez...hark..is that the cannon I hear...
Mike sez he is...he gets bundled up in his costume and runs on stage, just as a loud cannon goes off....

"Holy sh**t" Mike goes " What the f**k was that !!"

[Idaho]

Q: What is the difference between a conspiracy theory and a proven fact.

A: Lately, about six months.

[StuM]

QUeen

[GordMay]

[GordMay]