The 2021 -2024 and Continuing Joke Threads

[Firemandivi]

[Franziska]

Expensive Swiss hand cream?

SIKAFLEX!!!

Applies itself everywhere it should not.

[emoji16]

[s/v Jedi]

54321

[GordMay]

[s/v Jedi]

Qwert

[GordMay]

Hearing that Jesus loves you is nice ...
Unless you're in a Mexican prison.


I've read that excessive sex causes memory loss:
It was in the British Medical Journal, in May, last year, page 12, paragraph 3. A nice sunny day, I was reading in the park ...

[GordMay]

[Firemandivi]

[s/v Jedi]

12345

[GordMay]

Whenever I'm near an uptight vegan, I tend to walk on eggshells ...
... which really tends to upset them.


Q: What do Vegans fear the most?
A: Nutritionists, with facts.

Q: What does a cannibal do, after he eats a vegetable?
A: He throws away the wheelchair!

Q: What’s the toughest thing about being a vegan?
A: Apparently, keeping it to yourself.

[GordMay]

As I lay in bed, I felt a hand reach into my boxers, and start to play with my b***s. It was nice, but I wasn’t in the mood.
“Not tonight,” I whispered “I’m tired,”
“That’s not how it works in here”, said my cellmate.

[SailRN]

.





381

[El Pinguino]

Originally Posted by GordMay

Hearing that Jesus loves you is nice ...
Unless you're in a Mexican prison.

Seeing 'Dios es mi Piloto' on the front of un camión coming round a bend at you on the wrong side of the road isn't that funny either.

[SailRN]

.





382

[GordMay]

Q: Why do dyslexic sailors eat shellfish, when rain is forecast?
A: It’s the clam before the storm.

Q: Why aren’t boats equipped with artificial intelligence?
A: Nobody wants to get on a thinking ship.

Q: What do you call a dog on a U-boat?
A: A subwoofer.

Q: Why does the U.S. Navy keep at least two canaries on board each of their submarines?
A: Because everyone knows that if you have a big sub, you also need a good set of tweeters.

Q: Where does a sailor, who can’t control his temper, go?
A: Anchor management.

Q: Why can’t you tickle a sailor?
A: Because they’re nautical-ish.

Q: Why don’t sailors like buying new hats?
A: They’re afraid of cap sizing.

Q: Why are sailors so indecisive?
A: Because they’re always far from shore.