The 2021 -2024 and Continuing Joke Threads

[goboatingnow]

[s/v Jedi]

Pokbzz

[s/v Jedi]

sxdcf

[GordMay]

[GordMay]

[GordMay]

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[GordMay]

When I first became an Ancap, I was just an unemployed high schooler, who had never worked a labor job in his entire life. I had that whole "welfare recipients are parasites, just pull yourself up by your bootstraps, forcing people to subsidize your shitty life choices is morally wrong, nobody is entitled to anything they don't own" mentality, but then my parents made me get a job.

For the most part, I still kept my same views. My job was still pretty much voluntary, I could quit and it would only disappoint my parents. But come this year, when I graduated high school, it began to sink in that I'm going to have to keep doing this, or God willing some other job, for the majority of my life, if I want to have access to basic necessities, like food, water, shelter, etc.

I work at a grocery store, and it's usually a comfy job. Comfy enough that I was able to sincerely hold on to my Ancap beliefs, until today. Today, a line was crossed that made me see the error of my ways.

They were doing inventory, and they needed us, or more specifically, me alone, to push all the items, in every shelf, in the entire store, all the way back, and then dust the shelf off.

At first it didn't seem all that bad, but then I realized I was the only one doing it, and I would have to spend the rest of my shift on this. After only about five minutes, I felt like I was going crazy.

Push, spray, dust, move down, push, spray dust, move down, push spray, dust, move down, push, spray dust, move slightly to the left, and repeat.
I had to do that at least 30 times, to only get one side of one aisle done. Took me at least half an hour to do that, and there were still 20 more aisles left in the store. The repetitive motion, the maddeningly slow progress, and being alone for the entire 8 hour shift (including an hour of overtime) was exhausting in every way imaginable.

By the time I was done, I was infuriated, not just with the fact that I had to do this, but because of how little I got out of it. $9.30 / hour of that insanity? What kind of heartless monster would tell someone in severe poverty doing this kind of work, to just "pull himself up by his bootstraps"? A sociopath, that's who.

I finally understood what socialists have been talking about all this time.
"If only I were in a socialist country," I thought, "the shelves would be completely empty and I could have finished this in like, an hour."

[s/v Jedi]

Harrr…

[GordMay]

In breaking news:

Conspiracy against trump confirmed!
In a recent study of ballots, it has become apparent that there was in fact a Conspiracy, during the last election.
It turns out, it was way worse than the Republicans first thought though. It is now believed that a massive conspiracy, involving some 81 million American adults, conspired together against trump.
Several people have come forward, admitting that they indeed modified ballots they were given, by unknown actors in the government. These modifications were very small, but through years of planning, they discovered that if they put a mark next to Joe bidens name, when counted, the machine would encounter an error, and their vote wouldn't be counted for Trump, and be instead be counted for his opponent.
It is at this time believed that every conspirator modified up to and including one whole ballot, thereby stealing the election from the Supreme leader.

After a recount, Trump was found to be the winner in another state.
State of denial.

Trump’s personal library has burned down.
The fire consumed both books, and in a tragic twist, he hadn’t even finished coloring the second one.

Supreme court has ruled that basic intelligence tests for Election voting is Discriminatory.
The judge said that it is unfair to block all Republicans from voting.

Wal-Mart to close 400 stores in the US!
Sources say, it would put 12 cashiers out of work.

Black guy shot with a starting pistol.
Police think it's race related!!!

Mitch Hedberg dead at 48!
Has been dead since 37, but is still dead.

The Russian flagship “Moskva” has been upgraded
to a submarine.

A nine year old girl has disappeared,
after using moisturiser, that makes you look ten years younger.

NASA wants first person to reach Mars, to be a woman.
So that when men arrive, dinner would be ready.

[s/v Jedi]

Qwert

[GordMay]

A little sex quiz:


Q: What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
A: Virgin mobile.

Q: What do you call a virgin from Alabama?
A: An orphan

Q: What do you call a redneck sister, who runs faster than her brothers?
A: A virgin.

Q: Where do you get virgin wool from?
A: Ugly sheep.

[Montanan]

[Montanan]

Speaking of the weather, this is no joke. Our Weather Forecast for June 12 and 13th.

Can't wait for a Summer Weather Watch, in Winter.

But then we must be thankful that we Do Not Have Hurricanes.

Well the nearby National Park is called Glacier for a reason.

The park's main and spectacular Going to the Sun Road was not expected to open [plowed out] until the earliest of June 27th, now I suspect this storm may push that back a tad.

Note when a storm is expected to drop two feet of snow that only warrants a Weather Watch not the next higher notice category of a Weather Warning whereas two flakes of snow below the Mason Dixon line warrants a weather emergency.

Our town the largest in Southwest Montana does not even own a snow plow. One just drives through the snow and packs it into thick ice to cover the roads until a thaw arrives. In thirty years the schools have never had a Snow Day; a Snow Day is an ordinary day.

[GordMay]

[GordMay]