The 2021 -2024 and Continuing Joke Threads

[dfelsent]

Some people say “One man’s meat is another man’s poison. “

I say “One man’s Mede is another man’s Persian. “

[GordMay]

Originally Posted by dfelsent

Some people say “One man’s meat is another man’s poison. “
I say “One man’s Mede is another man’s Persian. “

In Thunder Bay, a “Persian” is a yeast-risen, fried cinnamon sweet roll, frosted with a pink berry-flavoured icing.
➥ https://www.foodnetwork.ca/shows/gre...ian-roll-done/




I was wondering why the book about sex, I bought, had positions like the "hammer and sickle" and "government mandated equality".
Then I realized I was reading the Commie Sutra.

Q: Why do communists only drink herbal tea?
A: Because proper tea is theft.

Q: What is the similarity between a communist and an IT technician?
A: They both believe restarting it might work.


And for all our right-whingers:

Q: What did communists use to light their homes before candles?
A: Electricity

Q: What's the best way to kill communists?
A: Communism.

[StuM]

Originally Posted by SailRN

Attachment 241309

I’d grow my own food if only I could find bacon seeds.

[ChrisJHC]

Originally Posted by StuM

I’d grow my own food if only I could find bacon seeds.

Speaking of bacon seeds…

Two cowboys are lost in the desert. One cowboy sees a tree that’s draped in bacon. “A bacon tree ! We’re saved!” He runs to the tree and is shot up with bullets.

It wasn’t a bacon tree, it was a ham bush.

[GordMay]

[GordMay]

[GordMay]

[Tom_F]

Especially sons…

[MicHughV]

Rocky Mountain Oysters, Lamb fries, Bull fries, Montana tenders, Huevos de toro, Cowboy caviar....are but a few names for a bull's balls...

Why is that balls require a euphemism to name them??

And they're edible.....???? Would people buy them if the were named " bull's balls"...the mind boggles...

Sorry, I think it's friggin' hilarious....the names we come up with to define body parts...be they bull or man....or woman....

[GordMay]

Apocryphal?

When Gandhi was studying law at the University College of London, a white professor, whose last name was Peters, disliked him intensely and always displayed prejudice and animosity towards him. Also, because Gandhi never lowered his head when addressing him, as he expected…. there were always “arguments” and confrontations.

One day, Mr Peters was having lunch at the dining room of the University, and Gandhi came along with his tray and sat next to the professor. The professor said, “Mr Gandhi, you do not understand. A pig and a bird do not sit together to eat.”
Gandhi looked at him as a parent would a rude child and calmly replied, “You do not worry professor. I’ll fly away,” and he went and sat at another table.

Mr Peters, reddened with rage, decided to take revenge on the next test paper, but Gandhi responded brilliantly to all questions. Mr Peters, unhappy and frustrated, asked him the following question. “Mr Gandhi, if you were walking down the street and found a package, and within was a bag of wisdom and another bag with a lot of money, which one would you take?”

Without hesitating, Gandhi responded, “The one with the money, of course.”

Mr Peters, smiling sarcastically said, “I, in your place, would have taken the wisdom, don’t you think?”

Gandhi shrugged indifferently and responded, “Each one takes what he doesn’t have.”

Mr Peters, by this time, was fit to be tied. So great was his anger that he wrote on Gandhi’s exam sheet the word “idiot” and gave it to Gandhi. Gandhi took the exam sheet and sat down at his desk trying very hard to remain calm while he contemplated his next move.

A few minutes later, Gandhi got up, went to the professor and said to him in a dignified but sarcastically polite tone, “Mr Peters, you signed the sheet, but you did not give me the grade.”

[carlosproa]

Originally Posted by MicHughV

Rocky Mountain Oysters, Lamb fries, Bull fries, Montana tenders, Huevos de toro, Cowboy caviar....are but a few names for a bull's balls...

Why is that balls require a euphemism to name them??

And they're edible.....???? Would people buy them if the were named " bull's balls"...the mind boggles...

Sorry, I think it's friggin' hilarious....the names we come up with to define body parts...be they bull or man....or woman....

In truth they are ovoids or testicles. Sometimes people need courage and default to funny names

[Yellowtulip]

Originally Posted by GordMay

Apocryphal?

When Gandhi was studying law at the University College of London, a white professor, whose last name was Peters, disliked him intensely and always displayed prejudice and animosity towards him. Also, because Gandhi never lowered his head when addressing him, as he expected…. there were always “arguments” and confrontations.

One day, Mr Peters was having lunch at the dining room of the University, and Gandhi came along with his tray and sat next to the professor. The professor said, “Mr Gandhi, you do not understand. A pig and a bird do not sit together to eat.”
Gandhi looked at him as a parent would a rude child and calmly replied, “You do not worry professor. I’ll fly away,” and he went and sat at another table.

Mr Peters, reddened with rage, decided to take revenge on the next test paper, but Gandhi responded brilliantly to all questions. Mr Peters, unhappy and frustrated, asked him the following question. “Mr Gandhi, if you were walking down the street and found a package, and within was a bag of wisdom and another bag with a lot of money, which one would you take?”

Without hesitating, Gandhi responded, “The one with the money, of course.”

Mr Peters, smiling sarcastically said, “I, in your place, would have taken the wisdom, don’t you think?”

Gandhi shrugged indifferently and responded, “Each one takes what he doesn’t have.”

Mr Peters, by this time, was fit to be tied. So great was his anger that he wrote on Gandhi’s exam sheet the word “idiot” and gave it to Gandhi. Gandhi took the exam sheet and sat down at his desk trying very hard to remain calm while he contemplated his next move.

A few minutes later, Gandhi got up, went to the professor and said to him in a dignified but sarcastically polite tone, “Mr Peters, you signed the sheet, but you did not give me the grade.”

I’ve seen that one with Mandela rather than Gandhi.

[CatNewBee]

.....

[Alan Mighty]

Originally Posted by GordMay

Apocryphal?

When Gandhi was studying law at the University College of London, a white professor, whose last name was Peters, disliked him intensely and always displayed prejudice and animosity towards him. Also, because Gandhi never lowered his head when addressing him, as he expected…. there were always “arguments” and confrontations.

I think the story is imagined and invented.

Mohandas Gandhi did study law at University College of London from 1888 to 1891. In 1891 he returned India and started to practice law in Bombay/Mumbai.

All accounts suggest that he was reticent to the point of being too shy to act as a barrister arguing legal points in open court. He continued in law, working as a solicitor.

A significant turning point for Gandhiji was in 1893, when he went to South Africa to help a South African legal practice in one lawsuit. Racial discrimination he and others confronted in South Africa motivated him. In particular, when he had finished his work with that legal firm in 1894 and was about to travel home to India, Gandhi was outraged by the move of the South African government to disenfranchise Indians before the next election. That prompted him to act in protest. He delayed his return to his wife and family in India until 1896 (and ended up going again to South Africa, living there for about 20 years).

Given that timeline and the passing attempt in the anecdote to embroider it with minimal detail ('whose last name was Peters') to add a scent of verisimilitude, I dismiss the story and suggest it not be spread.

[CatNewBee]

Originally Posted by Alan Mighty

I think the story is imagined and invented.

Mohandas Gandhi did study law at University College of London from 1888 to 1891. In 1891 he returned India and started to practice law in Bombay/Mumbai.

All accounts suggest that he was reticent to the point of being too shy to act as a barrister arguing legal points in open court. He continued in law, working as a solicitor.

A significant turning point for Gandhiji was in 1893, when he went to South Africa to help a South African legal practice in one lawsuit. Racial discrimination he and others confronted in South Africa motivated him. In particular, when he had finished his work with that legal firm in 1894 and was about to travel home to India, Gandhi was outraged by the move of the South African government to disenfranchise Indians before the next election. That prompted him to act in protest. He delayed his return to his wife and family in India until 1896 (and ended up going again to South Africa, living there for about 20 years).

Given that timeline and the passing attempt in the anecdote to embroider it with minimal detail ('whose last name was Peters') to add a scent of verisimilitude, I dismiss the story and suggest it not be spread.

Ha, another humor less fact checker. [emoji12]