The 2021 -2024 and Continuing Joke Threads

[Jamme]

Originally Posted by Montanan

Yeah the oven doesn't fit in, but I quickly noticed that her toes nails are painted a coordinative white color; so we should give her a pass for the decor faux paus.



Or have I missed and passed by something????

She is wearing AT LEAST three rings. That’s the first thing I noticed (the second obviously being the oven)

[StuM]

Originally Posted by Montanan

Uhmm,
pass
[pas]
VERB
passed (past tense) · passed (past participle)

Uhmmm,
past
PREPOSITION or ADVERB
in or to a position that is further than a particular point:

as in:
It's just past the next post office.
A police car drove past .

...

[StuM]

Originally Posted by Montanan

Yeah the oven doesn't fit in, but I quickly noticed that her toes nails are painted a coordinative white color; so we should give her a pass for the decor faux paus.

Or have I missed and passed by something????

No, but the point of the joke apparently shot past you.

[jeanathon]

Originally Posted by StuM

Uhmmm,
past
PREPOSITION or ADVERB
in or to a position that is further than a particular point:

as in:
It's just past the next post office.
A grammar police car drove past .

...

There I fixed it for you.

[Montanan]

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror. There are teachers, and then there are educators...”

[carlosproa]

Charles is getting noticed


This man has been married for 20 years and he. Has never raised his voice to his wife


If you know Spanish you get it

[Montanan]

Ole and Sven

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.

"why sure," comes the reply.

The first man then asks: "where ya from?"

"Norway," replies the second man.

The first man responds, "Ya don't say, I'm from Norway too! Let's have another round to Norway."

Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Norway are ya from?"

"Bergen," comes the reply.

"I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Bergen too! Let's have another drink to old Bergen."

Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "So, where did you live?"

"On a boat, at the fishin' docks," replies the second man.

"Dis is unbelievable!," the first man says. "I lived on a boat at the fishin' docks, too!"

About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.

"What's up?," he asks the bartender.

"Nothing much," replies the bartender. "Ole and his brother Sven are getting drunk again."

[Montanan]

Ole, Sven, and Nels came into the bar.
They were high-fiving each other, shouting, and generally having a celebration of some sort.

"Line 'em up," Ole shouted as the party continued.

They drank and carried on for hours. Finally the bartender's curiosity got the better of him. "Just what are you celebrating?" he asked.

"51 days! We did it in 51 days!" they responded.

"What did you do in 51 days?" he probed.

"Put the puzzle together," they replied. "51 days, and the box said 3-5 years!"

[StuM]

Originally Posted by jeanathon

There I fixed it for you.

Thank you!

[Firemandivi]

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. And, after a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?' The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?' The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no. The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'

[Jamme]

[Eigenvector]

+++++

[Jamme]

This is vaguely self-referenced:

[Jamme]

[Jamme]