The 2021 -2024 and Continuing Joke Threads

[CaptTom]

I had no idea there were whole countries where they don't cook bacon properly crispy! The thought of eating raw fat is a bit disturbing, especially first thing in the morning.

If that's how you like it, I'll under-cook it for you. Just don't ask me to eat it that way.

[OutOfControl]

Originally Posted by CaptTom

I had no idea there were whole countries where they don't cook bacon properly crispy! The thought of eating raw fat is a bit disturbing, especially first thing in the morning.

If that's how you like it, I'll under-cook it for you. Just don't ask me to eat it that way.

Well, the Aussies do have a taste for the unusual!

[Lodesman]

Originally Posted by Uncle Bob

it was always interesting/difficult to explain to small local restaurants that bacon should not be crispy and eggs may safely be served sunny side up.

Not sure how it's done in Oz, but you should be aware that salmonella is much more likely in American eggs than in European ones. I think North America has also had in the past, a much higher incidence of trichinosis in pork. Not so bad these days, but old habits die hard.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/nadiaar...h=2039f6c14050

[carlosproa]

[Uncle Bob]

https://www.cruisersforum.com/forums...1&d=1664603535

[Eigenvector]

It's true.

[OutOfControl]

Two statues in a park

There were two statues in a park, one of a naked man, and one of a naked woman. They had been facing each other for a hundred years across a pathway, when one day an angel comes down, and with a single gesture brings the two to life.

The angel tells them, “As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you’ve wished to do the most.”

He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the shrubbery. The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues. After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing.
The angel tells them, “Um, you have fifteen minutes left, would you care to do it again?” He asks her “Shall we?” She eagerly replies, “Oh, yes, lets! But lets change positions. This time, I’ll hold the pigeon down and you **** on its head.”

[Wotname]

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[MicHughV]

All this talk about cooking bacon reminds me of a time when I was traipsing around the globe.
I fetched up on the island of Naxos, and to make a long story short, hooked up with some other travelers who recommended we all go for breakfast at a beachside "cafe" around the corner from the main town.
Well, this beachside " cafe" was little more than a makeshift affair cobbled together from flotsam and jetsam and other assorted detritus.

Nonetheless, we settled in for breakfast, sitting on the beach sand adjacent to the "cafe".

Not knowing any better, I asked for some bacon and eggs, and watched the fisherman's wife get to it.
She had apparently never cooked an egg before, as she took an egg, placed it on a spoon and dipped it into a pot of boiling water for all of 5 seconds. This was followed by a second egg in the same fashion. There was no bacon, but some fried calamari which she substituted for bacon. Thus with my two 5 second boiled eggs and fried calamari, breakfast was served.

I tried to make the best of it, but it wasn't happening for me, and my breakfast found a new home in a hole in the beach.

[OutOfControl]

Originally Posted by OutOfControl

Well, the Aussies do have a taste for the unusual!

[jeanathon]

What did the blond say when her boyfriend blew in her ear?
Thanks for the refill.

[MicHughV]

Two sailors were standing on a low bridge in town relieving themselves over the side.
The first guy, turns to his friend, thinking to brag a bit and sez" damn, dat water is cold"
Without blinking an eye, the second guy responds " yep, an' deep too"

[Half Pint]

And muddy at the bottom

[Wotname]

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[Uncle Bob]

https://www.cruisersforum.com/forums...1&d=1665216593
What you get when you order eggs in Canada.