The 2021 -2024 and Continuing Joke Threads

[Montanan]

[Montanan]

Fun Sailing Quotes:

Please share yours.

“I had to choose between her and the boat, she said. Any sailor will know it is a lot more difficult to get a new boat than a new wife, so I bought her a one-way ticket back to Norway.” ― Peter Tangvald

“Out of sight of land, the sailor feels safe. It is the beach that worries him.”

“Any damn fool can navigate the world sober. It takes a really good sailor to do it drunk.” ― Sir Francis Chichester

“The wonder is always new that any sane man can be a sailor.”

“Cruising is fixing your boat in exotic locations.”

"Only two sailors, in my experience, never ran aground. One never left port, and the other was an atrocious liar.” ― Don Bamford

"Land was created to provide a place for boats to visit.” ― Brooks Atkinson

“The good seaman weathers the storm he cannot avoid and avoids the storm he cannot weather.”― Anonymous

[Mirage35]

"There are old sailors and bold sailors. There are no old bold sailors."

[MicHughV]

My math professor at college told me
"figures never lie"

So I told him"
"well, if one ship can cross the ocean in 7 days, 7 ships can do it in one day...
1Sx7D=1C
same as 7SD = 1C
or
7Sx1D = 1C
same as 7SD = 1C

[CaptTom]

Originally Posted by MicHughV

..."well, if one ship can cross the ocean in 7 days, 7 ships can do it in one day...

In my industry, the saying was that management thinks that if one woman can produce a baby in 9 months, then 9 women can do it in one month.

[GordMay]

No wonder they're hiring.

[VWKDF]

My ex wife just texted me,
"Wish you were here."


She does it every time
she walks through a cemetery.

[carlosproa]

[mlydon]

I dont get it

[Lodesman]

Originally Posted by mlydon

I dont get it

money laundering, assault (a salt) and battery

[Adelie]

Originally Posted by GordMay

No wonder they're hiring.

Soylent Green

[OldManMirage]

Originally Posted by Adelie

Soylent Green

That was the first thought that came into my mind !!

[jeanathon]

Originally Posted by mlydon

I dont get it

Mark Twain said, "
Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it."

[GordMay]

Originally Posted by Adelie

Soylent Green

Indeed.
My first thought was Sweeney Todd.

[Jamme]

Originally Posted by GordMay

Indeed.
My first thought was Sweeney Todd.

I was thinking more about Another Brick in the Wall (video) when kids fall into the grinder!!!