The 2021 -2024 and Continuing Joke Threads

[Jamme]

[Jamme]

[chrisr]

Originally Posted by Jamme

Attachment 278289

ahhh...the monty python parrot sketch...they just don't make comedy like that any more...

https://www.google.com/search?q=mont...id:4vuW6tQ0218

cheers,

[chrisr]

A guy was walking along a beach in California when he stumbled on something. He bent down and picked it up and it was an Arabian lamp. He proceeded to wipe the sand off when a Genie appeared.
The Genie seemed to be angry and said “This is the third time that I’ve been disturbed this week, so you’re only going to get one wish instead of three, so you’d better make it a good one!” The man thought for a minute and said, “I’ve always wanted to visit Hawaii, but I get sea sick, and I’m afraid of flying, so I wish that you would build me a bridge so that I can drive over.”
The Genie exclaims “You’ve got to be out of your mind! Think about the logistics, all of the steel that would have to be sunk in the ocean and all of the asphalt! That’s too hard, think of something else.”
The guy thinks again and says, “You know, I’ve been married and divorced three times and each time, they say its because I don’t understand them. So I wish to be able to understand women, know what they’re thinking when they’re quiet…”
The Genie says interrupts him saying “Stop right there! Did you want that bridge to be two lanes or four?”

cheers,

[chrisr]

A blonde wanted to try out ice fishing. She went out and purchased all the gear she would need and headed to a local spot to try to catch some fish.

She went out onto the ice with her gear and after getting comfy on the stool, she started to cut a circular hole in the ice as she had seen on the internet. As she was cutting, she heard a voice from the heavens speak out, saying, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."

The blonde was startled. She stood up and looked around but saw no one. Cautiously, she moved a little further out onto the ice and set up in a different spot. She sipped some hot chocolate from her thermos and then started cutting another hole. Again, the voice called out, seemingly from all around her.

"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE"

Now feeling quite scared and starting to get a bit frustrated, she moved all the way to the far end of the ice and laid out all her gear, sat upon her stool and started cutting another hole. Right away, the heavenly voice boomed out, this time louder than ever, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!".

She jumped off her stool and looked all around her. She shouted to the heavens, "IS THAT YOU, LORD?"

The voice answered, "NO. THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE ICE SKATING RINK. THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"

cheers,

[Montanan]

[Montanan]

What one sees at the beach.

[Montanan]

Just saying.

[carlosproa]

[Montanan]

And no this is not a Colregs post.

[Montanan]

Advice on how to wing it.

[Montanan]

This joke is dinghy.

[Mirage35]

Dinghy furler: been there, done that.

[goguygo]

Backed over the dingy line and fouled her good. only dive gear I had was my mask so I zip tied a 6’ piece of hose to the railing for a snorkel.
Hopefully there are no pics of that 🤭

[GILow]

Originally Posted by goguygo

…

Hopefully there are no pics of that 🤭

There are, but for a small price I will destroy the originals.