The 2021 -2024 and Continuing Joke Threads

[GordMay]

The Second Rule of Environmental Protection: “The most efficient way to dispose of toxic waste is to reclassify the waste as non toxic.”

Firestone's Law of Forecasting: “Chicken Little only has to be right once.”

The second law of greed and avarice: "He who dies with the most toys, is, nonetheless, still dead."

[GordMay]

[delmarrey]

Those coming of age these daze……

[GordMay]

[GordMay]

[GordMay]

[boatman61]

An oyster decided he fancied a night out dancing so headed down to the local discotheque.. after a couple of hours there he pulled a mussel.

[boatman61]

Two onions fell in love and decided to get married.
They bought a home and a couple of years later had a baby onion.
A Few years later little onion was playing in the garden when his ball bounced over the fence and into the road..
Like many kids he dashed after it without thought and got flattened by a lorry.
Daddy onion was called at work by Mommy onion and dashed to the hospital where he spent several hours pacing the corridor in between comforting his wife.
Finally the surgeon emerged and came towards them, Daddy onion ran up in a panic and asked if his child had died.
The surgeon put his hand on onion and said.. "Its okay, he survived the surgery and will live but.. I'm sorry to say, he'll be a vegetable for the rest of his life".

[GordMay]

An old sailor once told me, he could hear the calm, before the storm.
He said: “It sounds like a C flat.”

A man, who lived by the sea, grew a cucumber, so large, he was able to turn it into his house.
One day a bad storm flooded the area with seawater, and damaged his home.
Now, he’s in a pickle.

[carlosproa]

[Buzzman]

The 'Dingo Farm' cartoon is clearly a play on the Azaria Chamberlain case in Australia.


The morning after the announcement "A dingo took my baby!" one of our local radio station's DJ's announced the following:


"Did you hear about the Irish dingo..?


It got into the Botanic Gardens and ate all the azaleas..!!"


Boom, tish..!!


RIP Uncle Doug Mulray and Andrew the Boy Wonder from Indoor Cricket.....

[GordMay]

[Jamme]

Originally Posted by GordMay

Sounds exactly like tackling boat projects.

[GordMay]

Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems.
… but, then again, neither does milk.

At the marina, we had a major problem with sea birds. I started throwing rocks at them.
I left no Tern unstoned.

I've realized that suicide would solve all my problems.
If I could just get the right people to try it.

[carlosproa]