The 2021 -2024 and Continuing Joke Threads

[GordMay]

Major Brian Shul [“Sled Driver”] relays the story behind this famed ground speed check. ➥ https://youtu.be/8AyHH9G9et0

In similar vein (airport not stated), an SR-71 crew were listening in on a similar "match this" contest. A Cessna asked to clear to flight level 40 (4,000 ft], a corporate jet requested clearance to FL 120, an airliner to 180, etc.
Finally the SR-71 called ATC.
SR-71: "Request clearance to Flight Level 800"
Tower: "Just how in hell do you plan to get up there?"
SR-71: "Uh Tower, I'm descending to 80,000.

Then, there's the story about the military pilot, calling for a priority landing, because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked."
Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down.
"Ah," the pilot remarked, "the dreaded seven-engine approach."

"Flight 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees."
"But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"
"Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes, when it hits a 727?

[Seaworthy Lass]

Originally Posted by GordMay

Major Brian Shul [“Sled Driver”] relays the story behind this famed ground speed check. ➥ https://youtu.be/8AyHH9G9et0

Brian Shul was the most inspirational speaker I have ever listed to.
I particularly enjoyed this video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFJMs15sVSY?si

The marina anecdote will induce a huge belly laugh, amongst many. Humour at its very best .

SWL

[carstenb]

back to normalcy

[chrisr]

A Gurkha platoon is being briefed by their CO before an assault on the Falklands..

“Your aircraft will fly on this heading at 150 feet to avoid radar, then once over the drop zone you will jump, form up on the ground and close on the objective at these co-ordinates. Any questions?”
There is some discussion amongst the men. The Gurkha unit commander raises his hand.
“Sir, the men are concerned about the risk of injury on the insertion. They ask if it is possible to jump from fifty feet instead?”
“Afraid not, old chap. Fifty feet is too low for the parachutes to open” replies the CO.
The Gurkha commander smiles broadly…
“Ah, that is fine Sir. Nobody mentioned that we would have parachutes”

cheers,

[chrisr]

I was in the pub last night telling my mate the joke about what would you do if an epileptic has a fit in the bath … throw the washing in.

However, the bloke at the next table said, "My brother was epileptic and died in the bath."

**** me! Embarrassed!

So, to ease the tension I said, "Sorry to hear that. Did he drown?"

"No. He choked on a sock."



cheers,

[carlosproa]

[GordMay]

Only in Texas!

[GordMay]

I went to see my psychiatrist, and told him that: “No one understands me.”
He responded, “What do you mean by that?”

Then, I told my psychiatrist that: “I’ve been hearing voices.”
He responded: “You don’t have a psychiatrist.”

Then, I went to see my psychiatrist, to get over my crippling fear of palindromes.
He put me on Xanax.

Then, I told my psychiatrist that: “I’m thinking about suicide.”
He responded: “From now on, you have to pay in advance.”

[goguygo]

Originally Posted by carlosproa

Attachment 281772

I rotated the pic 90 degrees to see if it made more sense; the guy in the back seemed to be happy with that.

[jeanathon]

Originally Posted by goguygo

I rotated the pic 90 degrees to see if it made more sense; the guy in the back seemed to be happy with that.

90 clockwise or counter clockwise? Of the three positions I wouldn't complain.

[GordMay]

Some space factoids:

Don’t worry about being exposed to a temperature of absolute zero. It will be 0 K.

In my opinion, Orion's belt is just a huge waist of space.

Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time, too!

Sirius, the dog star, is moving closer to Earth. at a rate of nine miles per
second. This means, someday, we could be in Sirius trouble.

Scientists have found; that the center of Jupiter contains the letter “I”.

[GordMay]

Some more space factoids:


The density of Saturn is so low, that the whole planet would float on the water, in your bath. However, you wouldn’t want to try this experiment, at home, as it would leave a massive ring, around the tub.

Hairpieces don’t work, in the microgravity environment, of space. But, a $2 adapter can hold them on. For balding astronauts, that’s a small price toupee.

As part of an experiment, a crab was brought to the International Space Station, to study the effects of long-term isolation. At first, the astronauts were surprised to find the animal seemed to enjoy the time alone. But then, they realized it was a hermit crab.

There is no use arguing with black holes. They’re just too dense.

Tates Electronics won the contract, to supply navigation and propulsion systems, for a group of space colonists. The engines worked well, but the navigation systems failed badly, sending the space travelers into uncharted space. It really shouldn’t have been a surprise.
After all, he who has a Tates, is lost

[GordMay]

Flat Earthers have nothing to fear ...
... but sphere itself!

Q: What’s a light-year?
A: The same as a regular year, but with less calories.

[jeanathon]

Why don't we celebrate Halloween in India?


Because we have no Ghandi!

[GordMay]

Dad joke, in Rapa Nui