The 2021 -2024 and Continuing Joke Threads

[JoeRobertJr]

Originally Posted by GordMay

In ancient Japan, failures would commit ritual suicide, to restore their honour.
In modern North America, they tell jokes, on the CruisersForum.

Your honor is restored, Gord-san.

[GordMay]

I asked a pretty, young ,homeless woman, if I could take her home. She smiled at me, and said yes.
The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off, with her cardboard box.

I saw a homeless man, living in a tire, today; so I popped it.
Now, he lives in a flat.

I tried to share a bag of chips, with a homeless person, on the street.
He told me to f-off, and buy my own.

[Montanan]

Now this one is making me feel a bit old.

[Montanan]

Groan ahead.

[Montanan]

One answer left:

[MicHughV]

shouldn't that be spelled " mutha " in order to provide the correct answer...

[GordMay]

What is the difference between Engineers, Architects, and Contractors?

An Architect knows a little, about everything, and as time goes on, learns less and less, about more and more, until they know nothing, about everything.

An Engineer knows quite a lot, about a very little, and as time goes on, they learn more and more, about less and less, until they know everything about nothing.

But, a Contractor has to know everything, about everything, but after the Architects and Engineers get done with them, they know nothing, about nothing.

I was [once] something, akin to an Architect.

[GordMay]

This year, my New Year's revolution was to proofread more.

Being a proofreader isn't difficult.
If you know what to except.

If A=B and B=C:
Then, do not get a job proofreading.

If we don't proofread and correct mistakes
The errorists win.

There's two types of people, in the world
Those who proofread their posts, and those who do


Q: What was the technical title, of the person who proofread Hitler's speeches?
A: Grammar Nazi.

Q: What's a proofreader's blood type?
A: Typ O.

[MicHughV]

UND_ _ _ _ _ UND

word play......fill in the gap.

[Montanan]

Originally Posted by MicHughV

UND_ _ _ _ _ UND

word play......fill in the gap.

Took me some digging and a little while to figure out.

[ChrisJHC]

Originally Posted by MicHughV

UND_ _ _ _ _ UND

word play......fill in the gap.

Underground

[GordMay]

Somehow, I expect that one of these, might offend, nearly everyone. Oh well.

I'm starting a social media website, for religious people [like Mike Tyson*], with a lisp.
It’s called ‘Faithbook’.

* Mike Tyson is a very religious guy. He punches people in the faith.

Q: What does a religious paedophile do?
A: It preys.

Q: What do you call a religious Tweet?
A: Xcommunicated.

Q: What religion do they practice in Hell?
A: Crispianity.

Q: What religion do they practice at the North Pole?
A: Santaria.

Q: What do you call a gym, for religious minorities?
A: Jehova's Fitness.

Q: What do you call a religious drug addict?
A: A crystal Methodist.

Q: What do you call a religious group of dentists?
A: The Holy Molars.

Q: What do you call a religious tropical tree?
A: A psalm tree.

Q: Why are dyslexic people religious?
A: Because they think god is man's best friend.

Q: What do you call a religious fish poem?
A: A Psalmon.

Q: What do you call a religious crocodile?
A: An Allah Gator!

Q: What do you call a religious pile of hay?
A: A Christian bale.

Q: What do you call a religious Indian man, that doesn't want to be found?
A: Hidin' Sikh

Q: Why aren't firefigthers religious?
A: They have to put out the burning bush.

Q: Why are religious people afraid of Trigonometry?
A: Cos they are afraid of Sin.

Q: Why are Catholics so upbeat, after religious services?
A: Because, they convert Mass into energy.

Q: What do you call a religious person, who sleepwalks?
A: A roamin’ Catholic.

Q: What do you call a religious head of lettuce?
A: A romaine Catholic.

Q: Do You know why there's religious holidays, but no scientific holidays?
A: Because science always works.

Q: What’s a religious saying, that atheists can agree with?
A: “He who fears god, has nothing to fear.”

[MicHughV]

Gord, you got too much spare time on your hands....come mow the lawn if you're bored

[GordMay]

I just found a boomer joke, in my jokes file.
The button with an ‘x’, on the top right corner of the screen, is a portal to the real world.

The Canadian school system is very disorganised, and poorly run.
I guess, school really does prepare you, for the real world.

I got a reality check, today.
It bounced.

Q: What’s the difference between fiction and reality?
A: Fiction has to make sense.

[GordMay]

I learned about oxymorons. It was fun, and here were many examples.:
freezer burn, exact estimate, truthful politician, caring insurance, Microsoft Works ...

Got more Oxymorons?:
* Only choice
* Civil war
* Definite possibility
* Grow smaller
* Random order
* Old news
* True fiction
* Virtual reality
* Working vacation
* Exact estimate
* Living Dead
* Jumbo Shrimp
* Original copies
* Pretty ugly
* Fully empty
* Deafening silence
* Organized chaos
* Open secret
* United States of America.
...