The 2021 -2024 and Continuing Joke Threads

[MicHughV]

* freezer burn.

[MicHughV]

whoops.. just noticed you already had it...

doesn't pay to be a " smart aleck" here...

[GordMay]

Did you know?
If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. That's pretty humerus.

[Montanan]

[GordMay]

Q: What is the difference, between Americans and computer IT support?
A: Americans don't have troubleshooting. Also, a computer can abort.

[GordMay]

While I was at the doctor, he walked in with my test results, and said: “You’re going to have to stop masturbating!”
I was so worried, and I asked him: “Why?”.
He said, “Because, I’m trying to give you your diagnosis!”

Then, he told me, I'm colour blind.
The diagnosis came, completely, out of the purple.

The doctor, also, diagnosed me with anxiety, and constipation.
Now, I am worried shitless!

I’ve been meaning to do something, about my ADHD diagnosis.
But, I keep getting distracted.

[Montanan]

[Montanan]

Guys can relate:

[GordMay]

[GordMay]

Punctuation can be very important.For example:
There's a Maypole dancer.
Theresa May, pole dancer.

Speaking of dancers:
I went to a dance.
First they played 'Jump', so I jumped.
Then they played 'The Twist', so I twisted.
Then they played 'Come On Eileen', so I got kicked out.

[GordMay]

In this age of missinformation and misogony, I propose a solution:
Misterinformation and mistersogony.

[Jon Hacking]

The importance of punctuation:

Did you help your uncle, Jack, off his horse?
or
Did you help your uncle jack off his horse?

[BlueH2Obound]

Let's eat, Grandma!
Let's eat Grandma!

[ChrisJHC]

Don’t forget the wombat:
Eats roots, shoots and leaves OR
Eats, roots, shoots and leaves

“Roots” being an Aussie term for procreating

[GordMay]

Q: What are the magic words, you say, to get what you want?
A: I'm offended.

If you're going to take offense: would it be chain link, or picket?