The 2021 -2024 and Continuing Joke Threads

[GordMay]

Q: What is the liquid, inside the iPhone’s battery, called?
A: Apple juice.

Q: How does an Apple Watch owner know that it's midday?
A: It's already run out of battery.

Q: What's the most Canadian battery size?
A: Triple Eh.

[GordMay]

Last night, I was talking to my wife, about euthanasia.
I insisted, that in case I become incapacitated, in any way, I wish to be taken off all the equipment, that keeps me artificially alive, and left to die, in peace.

She said ok, and then stood up, turned off the TV, then the computer, and threw away the beer.

[GordMay]

Q: What’s the opposite of artificial intelligence?
A: Natural stupidity.

Q: What do you call immigrants to Sweden?
A: Artificial Swedeners

Q: What do you call synthetic breast cleavage?
A: Silicone valley.

Q: What do you call someone who sells synthetic limbs?
A: An arms dealer.

[carstenb]

[GordMay]

Have you noticed, that we talk about certain things, only, when they are absent?
Have you ever seen a horsefull carriage, or a strapfull gown?
Met a sung hero, or experienced requited love?
Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly, or peccable?
And, where are all those people, who ARE spring chickens, or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?

[JPA Cate]

Is the real question, does killing a fly hurt it?

[GordMay]

Originally Posted by JPA Cate

Is the real question, does killing a fly hurt it?

It may be a Good question - but, the Real Q?.
I didn’t used to think so.
I've been doubtful that insects, such as flies and mosquitoes, are conscious – that is, that they can feel pain, or enjoy their lives.
Although they may have an instinct to self-preservation, and procreation; I doubt that they look forward, to the future.
To want to go on living, you have to be able to understand, that you have a future.

However, researchers, from Queen Mary University of London, claim [1] that insects feel pain, 'most likely' because they have central nervous control of nociception (the detection of painful stimuli), just like humans, and other mamals.
Based on the findings, the researchers are calling for further research into pain and insects, to 'clarify whether we should be affording ethical protection to insects, in potentially harm-inducing settings, such as farming and research.'
More about ➥ https://www.qmul.ac.uk/media/news/20...fare-laws.html

[1] “Is it time for insect researchers to consider their subjects’ welfare?” ~ by Andrew Crump et al, June 2023
➥ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10234516/


Insects are, apparently, the superfood of the future. I tried eating caterpillars, but it made me too nervous.
They gave me butterflies, in my stomach.

So, one large oil company have announced that they are going to be producing fuel, from insect urine.
I think it is B.P.

Quick tip: Preventative measures, for preventing disease, from biting insects:
Don't bite them.

[waterman46]

Originally Posted by Tupaia

A rabbit walks into a pub and . . . . . .


‘Mixin-me-toasties.’

I must be from a different planet.

[GordMay]

None of my European electronics worked properly, in the US, until I prayed to God.
It turns out, they just needed a higher power.

[MicHughV]

I understand that some native African tribes eat those big "soldier" ants. roasted off course, over an open flame.

There is a whole industry that prepares "soft-shelled" crabs, where the entire thing is wolfed down, innards and all.

I've never understood people that eat raw uncooked oysters.

The French off course...eat raw meat...known by a fancy name....steak tartare

The japs fancy poisonous fish....aka...pufferfish...

Quite a few edible oddities around...

I myself fancy raw quail egg over raw fish egg at a sushi bar.....where all sorts of raw fish is served..

Have tried a variety of unusual foods in mah life, but draw the line at flies and mosquito's

[CaptTom]

Originally Posted by MicHughV

...Have tried a variety of unusual foods in mah life, but draw the line at flies and mosquito's

So, you've never ridden a motorcycle?

[carstenb]

Originally Posted by CaptTom

So, you've never ridden a motorcycle?

Indeed. Eaten lots that way

[Midnight Son]

Originally Posted by carstenb

Indeed. Eaten lots that way

Screaming in terror, or with an ear to ear grin?
Best wishes all.

[carstenb]

Originally Posted by Midnight Son

Screaming in terror, or with an ear to ear grin?
Best wishes all.

Spitting if i recall correctly

[MicHughV]

Ha, forgot about my early biking days....eating grasshoppers at 70 mph...

eventually sold that bike, and got a Harley Heritage which sported a big clear windshield..could always tell by the splotches on the windshield, which bugs I missed eating...