The 2021 -2024 and Continuing Joke Threads

[MicHughV]

A big tough cowboy leaves the bar and walks outside only to spot a young girl with a fistful of dollars in her hand....
"where did you get all that money ? " he asks....
" I take bets" she says...
" what kind of bets ? ?
" I bet you I can pee higher up against that wall than you can, while laying down"...

Cowboy thinks " I've got this in the bag" and agrees to the bet.

Little girl lays down on the ground, pffft...makes 3' up on the wall.

Cowboy lays down on the ground and is about to start his performance, when the girl says to him "sorry sir, no hands allowed"...

[IslandHopper]

I saw a homeless man & I asked him if I gave him $20 would he buy booze?
He said no he hadn't had a beer in years.

Then I said if I give you $20 will you buy fishing gear? He again said no, he stopped fishing 5 years ago.

So then I said I'll do you better than $20. I'll take you home get you all cleaned up. My wife will cook a fantastic meal for you. Then I'll bring you back & still give you $20.

He asked me won't she get mad? I said it didn't matter, I just wanted her to see what happens to a man when he stops drinking & fishing!

[StuM]

Originally Posted by IslandHopper

I saw a homeless man & I asked him if I gave him $20 would he buy booze?
He said no he hadn't had a beer in years.

Then I said if I give you $20 will you buy fishing gear? He again said no, he stopped fishing 5 years ago.

So then I said I'll do you better than $20. I'll take you home get you all cleaned up. My wife will cook a fantastic meal for you. Then I'll bring you back & still give you $20.

He asked me won't she get mad? I said it didn't matter, I just wanted her to see what happens to a man when he stops drinking & fishing!

Too generous, fdg3 only offered him $10 a few hours ago:



https://www.cruisersforum.com/forums...ml#post3454983

[IslandHopper]

Originally Posted by StuM

Too generous, fdg3 only offered him $10 a few hours ago:



https://www.cruisersforum.com/forums...ml#post3454983

Lol.....tightarse

[IslandHopper]

[Jim Cate]

Originally Posted by IslandHopper

https://www.cruisersforum.com/forums...lies/peace.gif

How true, how true... the world's most falsely named tool!

Jim

[GordMay]

[GordMay]

[GordMay]

[Eigenvector]

55555

[GordMay]

[GordMay]

[GordMay]

[D&D]

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them. He then jumps onto the pool table and grabs one of the billiard balls. To everyone's amazement, he sticks it in his mouth, and somehow swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"

"No, what?"

"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table... whole!"

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he eats everything in sight. Sorry! I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."

The guy finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate and leaves.

Two weeks later the guy is in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.
Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did just now?"

"No, what?" replied the man.

"Well, he stuck both a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled them out, and ate them!" said the bartender.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he measures everything first now."

[MicHughV]

cloud life