The 2021 -2024 and Continuing Joke Threads

[Rubicon King]

'Canada'? Are you referring to British North America?

[GordMay]

[GordMay]

[GILow]

Accurate.

[SailRN]

[GordMay]

I would have made a joke about carbon dating ...
... but it would have gotten old very quickly.

[GordMay]

My wife asked me, “Why don’t you treat me like you did when we were first dating?”
So I took her to dinner and a movie, then dropped her off at her parents’ house.

[GordMay]

In a Dating Site profile: "Looking for love and chemistry."

Doesn't quite have the same ring as: "Looking for hookers and drugs."

[GordMay]

[Uncle Bob]

https://www.cruisersforum.com/forums...1&d=1628069813

[GordMay]

***

[GordMay]

[GordMay]

***

[GordMay]

"Sensei, I’ve been training for years, and I’m not getting any stronger. What’s going on?"

“Have you seen the flock of cranes fly over the old mountain at sunrise?”

“Yes.”

“Have you seen the great lightning storms crack the sky before making way for a rainbow?”

“Yes.”

“Have you seen the fabled tiger as it hunts prey in the forest, quicker than the eye can see?”

“Yes, Sensei.”

“That’s the problem. You keep watching stupid ****, instead of practicing!”

[GordMay]

A Lesson in History:

The king wanted to go fishing and he asked the royal weather forecaster the forecast for the next few hours. The palace meteorologist assured him that there was no chance of rain.

So the king and the queen went fishing. On the way they met a man with a fishing pole riding on a donkey, and the king asked the man if the fish were biting.

The fisherman said, "Your Majesty, you should return to the palace! In just a short time I expect a huge rain storm."

The king replied: "I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an educated and experienced professional. Besides, I pay him very high wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him."

So the king continued on his way. However, in a short time a torrential rain fell from the sky. The King and Queen were totally soaked.

Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire the meteorologist. Then he summoned the fisherman and offered him the prestigious position of royal forecaster.

The fisherman said, "Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey's ears drooping, it means with certainty that it will rain."

So the king hired the donkey.

And thus began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work in influential positions of government.