The 2021 -2024 and Continuing Joke Threads

[SailRN]

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[JPA Cate]

Funny, when my Mom was little she thought it was, "Lead me not into Penn Station and deliver me from Meadville."

[StuM]

Originally Posted by SailRN

Attachment 244397

Who's pussy is that?

[belizesailor]

Originally Posted by Bullshooter

Oh my! From a moderator, no less. Hey, aren't you supposed to be making us all behave?

I dont see any rules being violated. [emoji6]

[Adelie]

Originally Posted by Bullshooter

Oh my! From a moderator, no less. Hey, aren't you supposed to be making us all behave?

To poach a phrase from Terry Pratchett, that’s “behaving for certain values of behave”.

[GILow]

Originally Posted by Adelie

To poach a phrase from Terry Pratchett, that’s “behaving for certain values of behave”.

My day is always better when someone paraphrases Pratchett.

[kayakerChuck]

"In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this."

"Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time."

-Pratchett

[GordMay]

“If you trust in yourself. . .and believe in your dreams. . .and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”
“I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it.”

~ Terry Pratchett

[GordMay]

[MicHughV]

Probably the most cruelest torture device ever made by man is...the confessional box....back in the day, you'd see these in most catholic churches, but they seem to have disappeared from the scene these days...

Nonetheless, even though you were seated behind a dark screen, the local priest would know who you were by the sound of your voice, even though we tried to fake our voices. In my younger teenage years, me and my friends would get together to concoct various and sundry stories to "confess"....these stories would range from the wild to the bizarre to the the totally insane....the more unbelievable, the better....

Even today, I can recall some of the stupendous lies I told...well, you had to be there.....we thought it was funny as hell......the local priest was our "moderator" of the day....

[SailRN]

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[StuM]

Two Scotsmen, Archie and Jamie, are sitting in the pub discussing Jamie’s forthcoming wedding.
“Och, it’s all goin’ pure brilliant,” says Jamie. “I’ve got everythin’ organised already, the flowers, the church, the cars, the reception, the rings, the Minister, even ma stag night”.
Archie nods approvingly.
“I’ve even bought a kilt to be married in!” continues Jamie.
“A kilt?” exclaims Archie, “That’s magic, you’ll look pure smart in that.”
“What’s the tartan?...”
“Och,” says Jamie, “I’d imagine she’ll be in white.”

[ChrisJHC]

Originally Posted by StuM

Two Scotsmen, Archie and Jamie, are sitting in the pub discussing Jamie’s forthcoming wedding.
“Och, it’s all goin’ pure brilliant,” says Jamie. “I’ve got everythin’ organised already, the flowers, the church, the cars, the reception, the rings, the Minister, even ma stag night”.
Archie nods approvingly.
“I’ve even bought a kilt to be married in!” continues Jamie.
“A kilt?” exclaims Archie, “That’s magic, you’ll look pure smart in that.”
“What’s the tartan?...”
“Och,” says Jamie, “I’d imagine she’ll be in white.”

And the follow-on question is:
“What’s worn under a kilt?”

“Nothing - it’s all in perfect working order!”

[OutOfControl]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZ35SOU9HTM

[JPA Cate]

Thanks, Out of Control. I hadn't heard that joke as a song. I really like it as a song!