The 2021 -2024 and Continuing Joke Threads

[GordMay]

[El Pinguino]

Speaking of Scotland - a land where so many things were invented.

They even - in Glasgow - invented premature ejeculation - so that a man could spend less time in the back alley and more time at the bar -

I'll get my coat...

[Eigenvector]

++++++++++++++++

[GordMay]

[GordMay]

Q: Why don’t aliens visit earth very often?
A: Because it is rated only one star.

Q: What is the first thing that comes to your mind, when you see a green alien?
A: To say "Wait until it is ripe".

Q: How do aliens harvest their crops?
A: With tractor beams.

Q: How do you make an alien’s baby sleep?
A: You rocket.

Q: What currency do aliens use?
A: Starbucks.

Q: What do aliens like to read the most?
A: Comet books.

Q: Why is it difficult to maintain a healthy relationship with an alien?
A: Because he always needs his space.

[Hydro]

4 tips for guys for successful relationships

It's really important to find a woman that you love and who loves you the same.

It's really important to find a woman that sexually excites you and that she feels the same about you.

It's really important to find a woman who will care for you and that you will care for her, in sickness and in health.


It's absolutely vital that these three women do not know each other.

[Be Free]

Originally Posted by JPA Cate

Thanks, Out of Control. I hadn't heard that joke as a song. I really like it as a song!

Heard that one on Doctor Demento at least 30 years ago. I think he said it was recorded at a music festival and was an impromptu performance, but like I said, "30 years.." could be wrong.

[ArmyDaveNY]

Originally Posted by GordMay

***
Ivermectin is a wonder drug but not for COVID — and misinformation is causing a shortage
➥ https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calga...tage-1.6158777

Ivermectin is a VERY effective drug in the fight against the Wuhan virus and in fact if far more effective than the experimental shots.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33592050/

https://www.thedesertreview.com/news...2d2325a08.html

https://ivmmeta.com/

https://covid.us.org/2021/06/27/iver...-use-in-india/

[Oeanda]

Originally Posted by CatNewBee

It is not bleach.

More importantly, it’s not a joke....



For his birthday, an old man’s nephews secretly hire a call girl for him. When he answers the door she’s standing there in a slinky black dress. She says, “I’m here to give you super sex.”

After thinking for a minute the old man replies, “I guess I’ll have the soup.”

[GILow]

Originally Posted by CatNewBee

Ever seen a horse on a ventillator? See how well Ivermectin works. [emoji6]

(I was remindet to be at least funny when answering in the joke thread)

Further support for my assertion that what the world REALLY needs is an irony font.

[GordMay]

[Montanan]

Originally Posted by CatNewBee

Ever seen a horse on a ventillator? See how well Ivermectin works. [emoji6]

(I was remindet to be at least funny when answering in the joke thread)

Originally Posted by GILow

Further support for my assertion that what the world REALLY needs is an irony font.

Ah, Poe's Law at work - every once in a while it becomes revealed. At least when one is on a video conference or facetiming with someone, you can give a wink.

All the best, to y'all.

[Montanan]

Come on over, it will be fun!

[Montanan]

The biggest problem with mobile phones being that they don't find themselves for you.

[IslandHopper]